To Serve, Honor and Love
by MrsEdwardCullenP
Summary: Staff Sergeant, Bella Swan, never suspected that in a world half away from her own, while fighting for the right for freedom of others that she'd fall in love with the only person who she could be denied. "We can't do this," I said brokenly. AH. B/E POV.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.**

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**Prologue**

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I tried so hard to stay strong; strong for my kids, Charlie… for me. My unit depended on me so I knew that I couldn't let them down. As I held that little boy's lifeless body in my arms, I couldn't help but think about _my_ boy and all the milestones I'd missed: his first steps, his first words, and his first birthday.

I couldn't breathe…

_I miss you Mommy._

_I love you Mommy._

_Be safe Mommy._

My eyes flooded with tears but I couldn't allow myself to cry. Not when I was surrounded by my men… not even when I saw _his_ eyes. He only had to look into mine to understand how desperate I felt.

"Swan, give me the kid," Whitlock said.

I held his tiny body against my chest and shook my head. "No."

"I need to take him to the medic," he pressured.

"He's gone," I hissed. "So get the _fuck_ away from me Whitlock."

"Newton, McCarty, Hunter," Sarge called with authority. "Return to your positions."

"Yes, Sir," they said and each of them ran out of the warehouse and on different directions.

"Whitlock, get the kid to the medic, he knows what to do."

"No," my voice cracked.

"That's an order, Swan," he said firmly.

Jasper kneeled and took the little boy that was tucked into my jacket from my arms. "Sergeant," he said to him, nodded and left.

My eyes were glued on Jasper as he left the warehouse. Once the building was empty he kneeled in front of me, took off his helmet and placed his gun next to him. My body started shaking; both from shock and his close proximity. With a gentle touch he took off my helmet and placed it right next to his. I rested my forehead on my knees and tried to control myself but it was fruitless.

I wanted that boy to live.

I wanted to go home.

I wanted my babies.

I wanted my Dad.

I wanted _him_ to want me…

"Bella," he whispered and wrapped his arms around me.

That was all it took. I broke down and started crying with every fiber I had in me; heartwrenching cries for everything I'd missed and experienced. Why? My God why? Why did I come here? Why did we have to risk our lives for a war that others started? Why did innocent people have to die? Why? Why?

"I'm here," he said as he rocked us both. "Hush, Bells."

"Ah, Edward," I sobbed.

"I know honey," he said and kissed the top of my head. "I know."

I'd no idea how long we sat on that cold cemented ground. Not once did he let go of me or try to say anything else. I could only hear him hum a tune I'd never heard before. It was soft, cleansing, and so pure. I closed my eyes and saw the faces of my kids- their smiles, their toothless grins as they sang 'Happy Birthday' to me, the sadness in their eyes every time they told me they missed me.

I was deployed to Iraq for twelve months and I've already been here for six. I had to go through another two without their tiny arms around me; without their kisses or cheerful Saturday wake up calls. I had to stay strong for them. All I did was for them… and _him_. He was the one that kept me sane while we talked at night. He was the one that encouraged me not to give up because I was so fucking tired of chasing death away from us.

I wished and hoped for things between us to change. I wanted us to be together, but I knew that it wasn't possible. He was my First Sergeant and I was under his command. He always had my back and I his. I had the back of my entire unit. He always asked for my whereabouts whenever we returned from a small mission or patrol and I hadn't checked in with him. . He always rocked me to heaven by just a simple touch.

He shifted slightly and I started panicking. "Don't leave me," I said no more than a whisper. Gone was the strong and independent woman.

He sighed and lifted my chin with his fingers to look at me. He ran his thumbs gently over my cheekbones and wiped my tears. "Never sweetheart," he vowed forcefully, his voice breaking slightly. "Never."

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**Missed me? *grins widely***

**This is my new story. I hope you enjoyed the prologue. I've written a couple of chapters so far. I need to have at least four before starting to post. **

**This story will be a slow burn… _slow _burn. So please do me a favor and don't complain about the pace. I already know how it'll go and when um… certain things will happen. I'm saying this now so we can have it out of the way. I will not change the pace.**

**There will be teasers but not in every chapter. Sometimes it makes it difficult to choose. I'll do my best though, I promise you that.**

**A huge thank you to cejsmom for her super skills in editing and to Monique who helps me with the terms and any crazy question that pops into my head and Nehnah. Now I can't promise that you won't see mistakes in here but I give you my word to be as accurate as possible…**

**JA Mash helped with the manips for my banner which you can on my profile… Thank you!**

**Waiting to hear your thoughts so please leave a review and tell me what you think…**

**Until next time,**

_Pen…_


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.**

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**Chapter 1**

* * *

Someone might ask why I decided on this line of work when I vowed as a kid never to choose it.

Someone might ask why instead of being in my tiny hometown of Forks, I was on the other side of the world.

Someone might ask why instead of being with my kids and tucking them into bed at night; I was trying to save people.

The answer is simple: I was here for them. I wanted them to be proud of their Mama; to be proud because I was keeping our family safe, including our country.

Being the daughter of a Lt. Colonel, at the time - months before his promotion as a Colonel - I knew the risks and sacrifices that had to be made. I knew that there might be a day I'd die in a fight, a bombing or an attack. This had been my fear every single time my father was deployed. September eleventh was the catalyst for my decision. Many Americans and I joined the Marines back then so we could protect our nation and families. Two semesters before I graduated from the International Relations and Pacific Studies Department of USD, I dropped the news to Charlie, and despite his protests, here I am. He didn't like it because he'd always hoped I would finish college. After a heart-to-heart discussion, he saw that it was what I wanted to do. I needed to be challenged and make a difference.

In my eleven year career I've been overseas three times, including this one: a year in Korea, two years in Germany for duty assignment and my current deployment of a year in Iraq. I've seen things and been in situations that people could never imagine. Ours families couldn't understand, neither could our friends. It's a different thing to hear stories to actually live them. Only men and women that have or do serve, can comprehend the extent of our experiences. I've seen my brothers and sisters die or get severely injured and yet none of us regret our choice to join. There is a purpose behind all this: freedom- a gift from God that no one should take for granted.

"Staff Sergeant Swan," Hunter called.

"What?" I said and glared. It pissed me off when they called me that. It was just Sarge for the time being or Swan.

After SFC Crowley's car trigged an IED and killed him on the spot, I was in charge of our platoon until his replacement arrived. It was weird because I was used to being the one receiving the orders and not giving them. Colonel Black's order was for me to wait at the base because he couldn't risk losing another NCO. I wanted to be on the field and not sitting around waiting.

"Newton said that the new SFC will arrive in about ten minutes," he rushed.

"Okay," I said and stood up. "The rest?"

"All gathered. We're the only ones missing," he said and paled.

"Is everything alright kid?" I said and dusted my pants.

"With all due respect Sarge, I hope the new SFC will be nothing like Crowley," he mumbled and looked down.

I snorted and laughed lightly. Crowley was one of the few fuckers who was paid by the US Government, to do nothing but sit around. He didn't care about his Unit or about the fact that he was responsible for their lives. For fucks sake, whenever we were engaged in combat he was sleeping.

"James," I said calmly and his body instantly relaxed. It was Bella talking now and not his superior. "How many years have we fought together?"

"Two and a half years," he said.

"That's right. And what do you think of me?" I asked knowing what his answer will be.

"You take shit from no one," he replied.

"And why is that?"

"Because you've worked with the best and you respect the every private."

"Do you think I'd ever allow a person like Crowley to lead us again?" He said nothing. "James, Crowley obtained his rank because his goddamned father-in-law is a General. I won't give a fuck if this new SFC plays golf with Obama. I'll report his ass before he could even blink."

Hunter enlisted right after he finished high school. His father died from a heart attack a few months before his graduation and he made the decision of joining to help his family financially. He was a good kid; quiet, respectful and focused. He was a comrade that anyone would want in their platoon. He would jump in front of a bullet for every single one of us if he thought it was the right thing to do. Shitheads had no place in our unit.

He smiled at me and nodded. "Let's go," he said and went to meet the others.

"So, have you heard any dirt on the new one?" I asked.

"Only that he is from Chicago," he sighed.

"Fucking Cubs," I hissed. "What the fuck Hunter? Am I the only who knows how to pick a team?

He threw his head back and started laughing. "Sorry Sarge."

"Mariners are the best," I said matter-of-factly.

"Uh huh," he grinned. "How are your kids?"

I smiled sadly. "Growing. Yesterday was their first day of kindergarten. Charlie called me earlier and said that Chris was crying all the time when Lisa was all excited."

"I made my dad stay with me the whole day," James said wistfully.

I giggled. I could imagine Charlie doing that. It would have been hilarious to watch him sit at the corner of the classroom in those tiny chairs. My dad and I have had a difficult life and I don't mean financially. After that bitch I had for a mother ditched us both, he did the best he could to cover the void she left behind. As if I cared. Until I had my kids, my whole world resolved around him. He was the best father a child could ever wish for: doting, loving, funny, and firm when he had to be.

Due to his line of work we traveled a lot but we mostly stayed in California. When I was six years old we went on a road trip and ended up finding this cute little town called Forks, a few hours outside Seattle. We spent a whole week there, hiking, camping, fishing, eating at the diner and only on the very last day did he meet Sue; my future step-mom. She was a God sent gift. I made her life a living hell back then because I thought that she barged into our lives to take my daddy away from me. On my seventh birthday Dad was almost a year into his relationship with Sue. He had to deploy to Germany for a year and having no other options, they got married. Sue had kept her house in Forks so she and I moved there. Once he returned the plan was for us to go wherever he was stationed. In my childish mind I wasn't happy. I was stuck with a woman I hated, so I made her pay for it by painting the white walls with my black marker, spilling bleach on her favorite carpet, breaking her favorite crystal vase. I blinked my tears away furiously when I realized how stupid I was.

"_I want my daddy," I hiccupped. "Please, I'll be a good girl."_

"_Sweetheart you know that your daddy had to go away," she said while she tried to hug me. I pushed her away._

"_I hate you," I screamed. "If it weren't for you, I'd be with him," I finished and rushed to my room._

_She called me to dinner later that day but I didn't go. Instead, I packed my school bag with my favorite pink dress and a picture of my daddy. I took Mr. Twinkles in my hand and swore to him that we'd go find him. Germany wasn't far from Forks, right? I opened my door and saw that Sue's door was closed. I tiptoed down the stairs and left the house from the back door. I looked up to the sky and it was a beautiful orange color, with tons of gray clouds._

"_I'm coming Daddy," I smiled and started walking towards the trees._

_I had no idea how long I walked. As I looked around I saw nothing but trees. Something boomed and I jumped. I was so scared. Soon I felt a drop fall on my arm. I walked and walked calling for my dad but I felt so tired and sleepy. _

"_I'm so sleepy Mr. Twinkles," I whispered and I felt something wet on my face this time._

_I started running because the rain would start soon and I didn't want to mess my dress. Daddy got it for me right before he left. It was white with small purple and gray doodles and it was beautiful. I found a small log under a tree and sat there. Once it stopped raining I would start walking again. I closed my eyes and waited for the rain to stop._

The next time I opened my eyes, I was in the hospital with an oxygen mask on my face and an IV drip in my hand. I was missing for seven hours until someone found me. Sue went ballistic when she realized I was gone and with the help of the local PD and the Natives from La Push they started a search party. She tried calling my dad but he was away on a mission and they couldn't get a hold of him.

When I woke up in that hospital bed, I was pleased to be out of the rain and back to a safe place after being so scared while all alone. I remember looking at Sue while she slept with her head on my bed and she was too pale for her light chocolate skin. When she woke up and saw me awake she started crying saying how scared she was; that she loved me so much. That was the day my feelings for her started to change and they grew as years passed. She was the one that explained about periods to me a couple of months before I started bleeding for the first time; she was the one that gave me the sex talk when I started high school. She was the one that held me in her arms when I bawled my eyes out after the sperm donor left me.

She was my mom.

"You know," Hunter started. "Maybe you should start thinking about leaving. I can see every time we talk about them how much you miss them."

I shook my head. "Of course I miss them James. There are my whole life but I have to take care of them. This is my job and this job pays for everything they need. It's a fucked up thing to say but it's the truth," I said sincerely.

By the time we walked around the corner and the soldiers saw us they stood at attention. James joined them and I took a deep breath.

"As you all know," I started, "…SFC Crowley's jeep trigged an IED a week ago, losing him in the process and a couple of our brothers. I was assigned to take care of our platoon until his replacement arrived. Most of us have been together for a long time and I'd like to think of us as friends," I continued. "I don't want to tire you with my rambling so I'd like to give you a last order as your Sarge. You see anything wrong in the new SFC, you come to me and I'll take care of it. One Crowley was enough for a life time."

I smiled as they snickered. I turned my head to my left and saw a Jeep approaching us. "Showtime Ladies and Gents," I called and turned around.

I couldn't count how many times we almost got killed when that fucker gave out our orders. We were supposed to go east and he'd sent us north. When we were supposed to exercise, he sent us to clean our guns. When we were supposed to form a plan so we could patrol a suspicious area, that fucker thought it would be wise to see Casablanca. Worthless piece of shit.

"Atten-hut!" I called once the jeep stopped in front of us.

Everyone snapped to position: stood straight, looking forward, unmoving. Once the SFC stood in front of me I saluted and he saluted back, smirking.

_Smirking?_

"At ease gentleman," he said in a silky voice.

Asshole…

Someone cleared their throat loudly. Fucking Stanley. Bitch can't keep her mouth shut unless she's sucking a dick.

"And ladies," he said and chuckled.

Fuck…

"I'm First Sergeant Edward Cullen and this," he pointed to the soldier next to him, "… is Lance Corporal Emmett McCarty. It recently came to my knowledge that this unit wasn't running the way it was supposed to and truth be told, I wasn't very pleased with it. As was our Colonel - who only after the unfortunate accident - found out what was happening. For the remaining six months of this tour, I want only one thing from you: your trust. Once I have it everything will work perfectly."

I tried really hard to suppress my eyes from rolling but unfortunately it didn't go unnoticed. Who was he trying to impress?

"Is there something you wanna say Staff Sergeant?" he asked and placed his hands on his hips.

Fuck you…

"No Sergeant," I said without making eye contact.

"Good," he paused. "Staff Sergeant I would like you to show me my office please and for the rest of you as you were."

What the fuck? Now I was a tour guide?

"Yes Sergeant," I said respectfully and I started walking ahead.

I went around the corner and started pointing out the mess hall, Bas, the racks, the beer garden and finally the LZ which was up on a small hill. We passed through the area were the dogs were trained and Sergeant Cullen paused for a second, looking at Cheney who was petting the puppy he found a couple of days ago. He walked toward him and stopped.

"Cute little thing," he chuckled. Ben didn't even lift his head to look at him.

"Yeah, man. I promised my little sister to get her a dog once I got bac…" His eyes widened when he looked at Sarge. "I'm sorry Sir," he said and when Ben started to salute him, he waved him off.

"It's okay," Sergeant Cullen said and paused for a second to look at Ben's name tag, "…Cheney. I don't expect you to salute me every time you see me."

What the hell? That joker Crowley demanded to be saluted even if he was standing in front of his window and this guy didn't want to be?

"But it's…" Ben started but he cut him off.

"I know it's customary Cheney," he chuckled. "You salute me when it's absolutely needed and that goes for all of you, including you Staff Sergeant."

"I'm afraid I can't do that Sir," I said instantly. Was I rude? Yes, but I didn't care. I didn't trust him. What if he was a psycho that liked to get soldiers in trouble?

He chuckled and shook his head. "So stubborn." I lifted my chin and looked at him defiantly.

Oh fuck. His eyes were green? Shit, shit, shit!

"Sir, you don't know me so please don't make any assumptions," I said and suddenly I shut my mouth. _Shut up you idiot! Insulting a higher rank? _"With all due respect, Sir."

He smiled and rubbed the corner of his mouth with his thumb. "Shall we?" he asked, showing a general direction with his hand.

"Sir," I said and started walking again, a bit faster though. At some point I heard the behemoth he had next to him call me a spitfire. I smirked to myself. '_Haven't seen spitfire yet, sonny._'

Once we reached Sarge's office, I pointed to the door. "We're here, Sir," I started. "I made sure to place all the documents and lists of supplies on you desk. Now if you'll excuse me I n…"

"Not so fast Ma'am," he said cutting me off. _Ma'am?_ Did I look like a fucking _Ma'am_? "I'd like for us to talk a bit and get to know each other since we'll be working closely."

Shit he's gonna chew me alive. He bypassed me, opened the door and stepped in. Snuffy showed me the door and I went in, with him following right behind. He closed the door and headed toward the mini fridge. Sergeant Cullen took off his cap, placed it on his desk and looked around. His hair was the oddest color I'd ever seen: dark bronze with tints of brown here and grayish sideburns.

"Do you want something to drink Edward?" Snuffy asked, making me gasp lowly. Both men turned to look at me briefly.

"I'm okay Emmett," he said and sat down. "How about you Ma'am?"

_There we go with the fucking Ma'am again. _

I shook my head. "I'm good, Sir."

"Emmett, go and have a look around," Sarge said. "Come back in an hour." McCarty nodded and left.

"When we're in here," he started. "I'm Edward and you're Bella."

I inhaled deeply. Only close family and friends called me that. How the fuck did he know my pet name? I was either Swan, Isabella for acquaintances and as of recently _Ma'am_.

"Or do you prefer Isabella instead?" he asked and smiled. "Please have a seat."

"Are you trying to get me in trouble?" I fired defensively.

"Far from it," he said and motioned to the chair again.

I reluctantly sat down. I was being apprehensive because I had no idea who this man was. If you had a person like Crowley as a SFC you would relate more easily. It's tough to have someone order you around when he didn't know shit and you had to nod and say yes.

"So what's it gonna be: Bella or Isabella?" he repeated.

"Swan," I said firmly.

"Okay, _Swan_," he said and scratched the back of his neck before resting his hands on top of the papers in front of him. "Colonel Black informed me about the way Crowley worked around here but I need to hear it firsthand."

"Instead of wanting to know the unit's affairs you ask this?" I asked.

"I know the unit's affairs Swan," he said coolly. "I did my homework before getting here. I do however, want to know about Crowley."

I sighed. "Where to begin?"

"From the start," he teased lightly.

"SFC Crowley was positioned to our unit right before we deployed. At first he seemed interested but day by day he started to change," I started. "He would forget to sign the forms for new supplies and blame me. He would be late for training or in many cases never appear." I stopped talking because I knew he wouldn't like what followed.

"Proceed," he nodded.

"He neglected our exercises and we were nearly out of med supplies because he always had something more important to do. A soldier would ask him something simple and he didn't have the decency to answer. He'd only say 'That's what Swan's here for,' and then dismiss him. We were out in the night and he was sleeping as if nothing was happening. The worst was when he sent us for patrols. He had no idea about strategy and co-ordinates where out of the question. We had some Intel about possible Al-Qaeda movement north of Fallujah. I presented all the facts but he insisted than we should go south because he felt it was a decoy. We followed his order and found nothing. He blamed me of course. The day his car was bombed, for some reason he wanted to go to Abu Ghraib. I insisted that he shouldn't go because there were reports of enemy test bombing and that we needed to check it out first, but he wouldn't even listen to me." I finished.

"Why didn't you report him?" he asked.

I snorted. "Report the son-in-law of a General? Sir, I'd be out before I could blink."

"Comma…" he started.

"Colonel Black would do what? Report him and once the General heard about it, he would bypass it," I fired. "With all due respect Sir, we both know that not everyone is a saint. Greed is everywhere, Sir."

We said nothing for a few minutes. He sat there thinking but I was counting the seconds till I could leave. I wanted to be alone.

"When I went to college, I wanted nothing more than to become a doctor. My father's dream was to become a pediatrician but how could a man be one when couldn't tolerate blood?" he started and smiled sadly. "So I decided since my father couldn't live his dream I could do it for him, so I busted my ass off studying and had perfect grades. My dad was so proud of me but deep down he knew the reason I was doing it. I was accepted to the University of Chicago with a full scholarship.

"During my third year of college, I realized that no matter how much I loved my father, I couldn't become someone I wasn't. So after extensive talks, my parents understood and I dropped out. I was twenty without a degree and I had no idea what I wanted to do in life. I got a full-time job in a small Surplus store and I was content up to a point. I had a job but something was missing. One day, a Marine came into the store and wanted to buy military belts. I had seen many Marines but he was different. The pride and joy he felt for his job was so visible. We started a talking and he suggested that I enlist, so after a lot of thinking I decided to go for it."

I said nothing. From his narration I knew that he wanted me to understand something; Charlie would tell me to always allow people to finish. And so I did.

"Training was tough and there were times I doubted my decision but being the stubborn individual I was, I didn't give up. My first transfer was in a joint installation in South Carolina and after that a good portion in San Diego. When I was promoted to Corporal it came to my attention that a certain SFC asked a couple of Sergeants to rough up a Private: they would intimidate him, beat the shit out of him. I accidentally found him in a head that was no longer in service, treating his wounds.

"His face was intact but the rest of his body was different shades of black and blue. He even had cuts but they weren't deep. I was so angry to the point of crying in front of him. I couldn't understand why he would order such a thing. I made the decision of reporting them but somehow he found out before I had the chance and decided that I needed to learn a lesson. I was beaten pretty badly and had to be hospitalized. My Captain visited one time and asked me who had done it. Call me stupid, but I didn't tell him. He left with the promise of coming back to check on me, but he didn't and neither did the SFC."

"The SFC didn't?" I asked. "Why?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Fear, cowardness, negligence; take your pick. Maybe he thought I learned my lesson and didn't need to come. Anyway, the following day, after I got back from x-ray, I found the Major of the Unit in my room, waiting for me. Even though my right hand was in a cast, I tried to salute him," he smiled. "He shook his head and approached me. He got a small briefing from the medic and once he was gone he turned and looked at me. He had a spark in his eyes - one that said 'don't you dare fuck with me'.

"Major had the reputation of being the badass on camp. He was firm and abode the military laws. Professional and his work ethics were impeccable. You know it's one thing not to spill your guts to your Captain and another to even think of not telling your Major. He ordered me to get in bed and once I was comfortable he looked me in the eye and told me 'Son, you tell me now who did this to you and that's an order, not a request'."

"I assume you told him?" I asked interested.

He smirked. "I did, but only after I explained what I'd witnessed. To say that he was furious would be an understatement. He had those monsters court marshaled; they were sentenced with two years of imprisonment each and dishonorably discharged. After that incident he sort of took me under his wing until he transferred."

"Sir…"

"The point of this story, Staff Sergeant Swan, is that I respect what I do… I _love_ what I do is more like it. It's fulfilling because I do care about my men and women. I respect the fact that they are here for a reason and the sacrifices they had to make in order to be here," he said. "After what happened to me I vowed to myself that I'd become the best SFC I could because that was my job."

Somehow he could see through my apprehension and he tried his best to tame it down. He seemed to be honest and thoughtful but only time would be able to tell. Having lived with the most honest man a person could ever know, made you that way. It was a tough cookie to find someone like my father.

"Have you seen him since then?" I asked. "He sounds like a very special person."

"I have. It was when I was three months away from being promoted to Master Sergeant. I was so emotional that day because even though we lost contact for so many years, he'd become a second father to me."

I nodded. "Good," I said. "It's nice to have people who care about you."

"I agree," he said affirmatively. "The day I became a First Sergeant, I called him and he told me only one thing: Your job now is to entail going out and know the pulse of all matters for your Colonel. If one finds you sit…"

I gasped and my heart started beating on full throttle. "…sitting at your desk then you're doing not your job," I said, cutting him off as he leaned back grinning like a Cheshire cat. "You know my father."

"And for that I'll be grateful to whomever brought him into my life. Your father was the one who made me the Marine I am today, with his guidance and support," he paused. "I met him in Seattle three days before I flew here. He told me to make him proud."

"That's what he tells me every time I leave," I whispered. Fuck I was gonna cry.

"He also asked me to take care of my Unit and a very special person."

My hands shook lightly. I missed him so much. Yes, we had Skype and all but it wasn't the same as the real thing.

"'Take care of my little girl, Ginger,'" he smiled. "She's the most important person in my world."

I closed my eyes and shook my head. "Sorry," I said hoarsely.

"No need to be sorry. We're far away from home and it sure makes us vulnerable - especially when our loved ones are concerned."

"You don't have to," I said after a few moments of silence.

"I know."

"I don't want you to."

"I know."

We stared at each other for a couple of minutes before I looked at my watch hoping that time would've passed. Any other in my place would've grilled him for info about my dad; asked questions: how was he, if he mentioned my kids. I wanted to be alone. I needed to go to my happy place… with them.

Sarge cleared his throat. "I was given a couple of things to give you," he said, stood up and reached into the side pocket of his trousers. He pulled out a bright yellow envelope and handed it to me. "The package is in my duffle bag. Emmett will bring it to you later."

I nodded and got up. "Sir, if you'll excuse me."

"Today everyone has a free day as I need to settle in," he said.

"What time do you usually start exercising?"

'_My God, just let me leave,_' I hissed in my head.

"After breakfast," I said.

He chuckled evilly in a good way. "Meet me here at oh-four-hundred. I have a tiny suspicion that our troopers are a bit rusty."

I caught his plan at once and started laughing. "I've got air horns."

"I think this is the start of a wonderful friendship. I like your spirit."

"Thank you, Sir," I said and this time I didn't ask to be excused. I headed straight toward the door. Once I grabbed the handle, I paused and turned around. "By the way it's Bella… _Edward._"

He grinned at me and crossed his hands over his chest. I stepped outside the office and as I was about to close the door, he called my name.

"Oh and Bella?"

"Yes?"

"I'm not a psycho," he said and winked.

Well fuck!

* * *

_**Military terms:**_

_**SFC: Sergeant First Class: **A Sergeant First Class' primary responsibility is training and mentoring Lieutenants, tactical logistics, tactical casualty evacuations, and the senior tactical advisor to the platoon leader. With today's operations tempo, a Sergeant First Class may fill the role of platoon leader if no suitable officer is available._

_**NCO: Non Commissioned Officer:** is a sub-officer; a military officer who has not been given a commission._

_**Lance Corporal:**__ is a __military rank__, used by many armed forces worldwide, and also by some __police__ forces and other uniformed organizations. It is below the rank of __corporal__, and is typically the lowest __non-commissioned officer__, usually equivalent to the __NATO Rank Grade OR-3__._

_**Staff Sergeant:** **Staff Sergeant** (**SSG**) is E-6 rank in the U.S. Army, just above Sergeant and below Sergeant First Class, and is a non-commissioned officer. Staff Sergeants are generally placed in charge of squads, but can also act as platoon sergeants in the absence of a Sergeant First Class._

_**IED**: also known as a **roadside bomb**, is a homemade bomb constructed and deployed in ways other than in conventional military action. It may be constructed of conventional military explosives, such as an artillery round, attached to a detonating mechanism._

_**Mess hall:** kitchen_

_**BAS:** Battalion Aid Station_

_**Rack:** bed_

_**Beer garden:** area set aside for the social consumption of alcohol and smoking of tobacco; may contain barbecue or picnic facilities._

_**LZ:** Landing Zone_

_**Snuffie** or **Snuffy:** junior Marine, Lance Corporal and below._

* * *

**A/N**

**So this was the first chapter. Nothing exciting, I know but this will have the same pace as it happened in my previous stories. =)**

**Most of the story will be from B Pov but you'll also get a bit of Edward. **

**A huge thank you to Cejsmom for her mad beta skills, Monique for the military info and Nehnah. **

**By clicking the magical button that says '_Review this chapter_' will bring you closer to your update and of course you'll get your teaser…**

**Until next time …**

_Pen…_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.**

* * *

_**Previously…**_

_"Thank you, Sir," I said and this time I didn't ask to be excused. I headed straight toward the door. Once I grabbed the handle, I paused and turned around. "By the way it's Bella… Edward."_

_He grinned at me and crossed his hands over his chest. I stepped outside the office and as I was about to close the door, he called my name._

_"Oh and Bella?"_

_"Yes?"_

_"I'm not a psycho," he said and winked._

_Well fuck!_

* * *

**Chapter 2**

* * *

_**EPov**_

"I c-can't believe you're," Mom wailed. "I c-can't believe you're d-doing th-this to me again."

Dad sighed and held her tightly. I swear that if she was able to go through the computer screen right now and hug the shit out of me then she would have. Mom was never able to settle with the fact that my job required me to travel a lot. Yes, they had been more than supportive but deep down I knew that they were afraid. Fear was what caused her extreme reaction at the news of a new deployment.

"Mom," I said soothingly. "It's only for six m…" I didn't get to finish as she started wailing again. I should've been used to it by now but it still broke my heart.

"I haven't seen you in over eight months and just when you're finally coming home you get deployed," she cried. "What sins am I paying for?"

"Mom, I'll still be able to come for a couple of days before I leave."

"You promise?" she hiccupped.

"Would I ever lie to you?"

She shook her head. "I just miss you so much, Edward."

And that's how a man's heart shatters. "I miss you too, Mom."

"When are you coming?" she asked as she tried to compose herself.

"Tomorrow, around noon. I'll stay 'til Sunday and Monday I fly to Seattle."

"Tomorrow? I don't have enough time to prepare!" Mom screeched.

"Mom it's just me. You don't need to make special preparations or anything," I complained.

"I need to air your room, go to the grocery store, ask Jenna to take over for as long as you stay." I shook my head since I knew that if I continued to complain then she'd keep going.

"How is Charlie?" Dad asked.

"He's good. I'm going to give him a call once we're done."

The only thing I hated about my job was announcing to my family a deployment. In my twenty year career I'd been deployed nines times and each time was worse when I dropped the news. Being an only child was suffocating sometimes and yet I couldn't help myself but to love them more and more as I grew older.

"I'm going to make your favorite," Mom sniffled. Just at the thought of homemade food, especially my Mom's stuffed veal roll, made my stomach growled in anticipation.

Dad chuckled. "Assuming from the ravenous grimace you just made, your stomach made its presence known, huh?"

I smirked and winked at him. "Well, I'm not the lucky son of a bitch that tastes her delicious meals everyday."

"You and your filthy mouths. Sometimes I wonder where I went wrong," Mom protested.

"Now now, my love," Dad said. "I don't hear you compl…"

"Whoa!" I half yelled. "Don't want to know that shit, Dad. Jesus, that's my Mom!"

"Your hot Mom if I may add," he fired teasingly and started laughing, as Mom gasped horrified.

"Carlisle," she said and slapped his chest.

"What? You heard the Cardiologist. Sex is good because it helps the heart to pump blood faster."

"I'm gonna be sick," I groaned and slapped my hand over my forehead.

"Once you find that special someone son, you'll be like me," my father said mischievously. "And _I_'_ll_ be sitting front row and enjoy the show."

"You're such a pervert," I laughed. "No time for this shit Dad."

And just like that my dear mother burst into tears. "That wench," she cried. '_Dear God not this again_' I moaned in my head, "…ruined him."

Jane and I used to date –if date properly qualifies the nature of our relationship- for seven years. We were in an exclusive relationship; comfortable with each other. As years went by though, I came to realize that my feelings couldn't get past the stage of comfort and friendship. There was no earth shattering love; the one where you give every single cell of yours to your other half. It was naïve and immature of me at this age to wish for something like that but after all, at the end of the day, dreaming was the only thing that kept us going.

Three years ago, Jane and I talked about getting married. We came to that decision since neither of us was getting any younger, but, when it came to children and my job we couldn't agree on anything. She wanted me to retire as she didn't want to relocate when my job required it and she could never see herself as a mother since her career was more important. Only then did I realize that she wasn't what I was looking for; that marriage was nothing more than a convenience on both ends. We didn't want to find a middle solution: I desperately wanted children and she didn't. She wanted me to leave my job and I didn't. We broke up, sold our house and parted ways like civilized people. Last time a saw her was six months ago, newlywed and very, _very_ pregnant.

"Mother," I groaned. "Not this again. We've talked about it thousands of times."

"I know," she cried. "I just want you happy, Edward. Don't think that I don't notice the sadness in your eyes when I mention Kate's boys to you."

Kate, my only cousin was married to a very dear friend and colleague of mine, Garrett. It was only a couple of months after my break up with Jane that Kate agreed to be my date for the Annual Christmas Ball. They met; started dating within a week and three months later they were married. They have two adorable little boys: Derek, sixteen moths old and Jim, a newborn. I was Derek's Godfather and I loved him to pieces. Jim, as well, but I had a stronger bond with the eldest. Not long after the Jim was born, my cousin had asked me if I could be the children's guardian in case something happened to both Garrett and her. She didn't want the kids to be separated so I said yes immediately and then spent the next hour reassuring her that they would be okay.

"And I love you for that mother. But please stop pestering me about it. If it happens then it will be welcomed. Until then, drop it," I said firmly. She knew that when I used my 'military voice', as she called it, I was serious and dropped the issue.

She sniffled and nodded. "I-I'll go and call Jenna," she said brokenly.

"Mom," I started but she bolted from the chair and disappeared. I threw my head back and stared at the ceiling. I hated it when this happened.

"She's just worried," Dad said sadly. "She means no harm."

"Tell me something I don't know, Dad. I just don't want to talk about it all the time." I swallow hard because I was about to call her and apologize, as always. "I need to go to bed," I lied. "I have a long day tomorrow. I'll call you once I land, okay?"

"Okay, son. I love you."

"I love you too, Dad," I said and ended the call.

I made a chicken salad, sat on my leather couch and watched the Mariners game. My father once told me that I should be ashamed being a Mariners fan and not a Cubs one, since I was a native Chicagoan. I chuckled as I recalled the shock when he found out I switched teams. He was so mad that I seriously thought t he might have a stroke.

My parents were like no others. Mom was the only daughter of a middle class family and Dad was the second child in his. My grandfather, Edward, had a small accounting company, inherited from his father and he in return passed it to mine. His dream was to see my father become a doctor and work side by side with my Uncle Jared. Too bad my father couldn't stand the sight of blood so instead he decided to follow his father's footsteps. Original huh?

Forty-four years ago, during a rainy mothers' day in Chicago, my father had forgotten to buy a present for my grandmother. Knowing her and what a simple woman she was, he decided that the best choice was to get her a bouquet with white lilies and red carnations. He stopped at the first flower shop he saw and entered without knowing that he was about to meet the love of his life, his soul mate. Two hours later, with a wonderful bouquet of flowers and a date for the following day, my father left the shop and went home. Exactly a year after they met, they got married and soon yours truly was born.

I really tried to allow my father to live his dream through me, but we both knew that it wasn't my calling; even if I never spoke the words. Becoming a Marine wasn't the job I envisioned as a child but once I enlisted, I knew that it was what I was supposed to do all along. It gave me a great purpose; a dangerous one but great nonetheless. Getting deployed was one thing but going to war was totally different. There were times, back in Afghanistan, where I was scared; scared of dying, scared of being captured by the Taliban and suffering at their hand, scared that I would never see my parents again. I still remember the day Mom went apeshit after finding out that I got injured.

Finishing off my salad, I placed the bowl on the coffee table and looked at the pictures that decorated my walls. I felt my eyes water, as a saw Peter's face smiling. We were best friends for as long as I could remember. We had the same interests, the same grades, the same circle of friends at school. The only difference was that he knew he wanted to be a Marine, but being an only child like myself, with no father in the picture, he decided against it no matter how much it hurt him to do so. Peter and I were like conjoined twins; he got a haircut, so did I. I'd be grounded, he'd be as well simply because he didn't want me to be alone or have fun when I wasn't able to. That's how he managed to enlist with me. Somehow we ended up being in the same Unit right before we went to war. If only I knew back then… if only. I was brought up to be strong and fight every obstacle that came across my path. I was never prepared though to see my comrades die; especially Peter. I missed him so much and there wasn't a day I didn't wish it was me instead of him. He had his life mapped out: return from war, find where his next transfer was, get hitched with his Maria, his high school sweetheart, and have his Mom live with them. I'd be his best man and he would be mine.

"I miss you brother."

≈**Ж≈**

I was barely out of the cab when the front door opened and I saw my mother running towards me. I barely managed to catch her when she threw herself at me.

"My baby boy," she sobbed, holding me in a bone crushing hug. "I missed you so much."

I could barely breathe but I didn't have the heart to detach her from me. I squeezed her as gently as possible and kissed the top of her head. Mom released me but not fully, and looked at my face; inch by inch as if she hadn't seen me in years. She ran her delicate fingers from my temple to cheek and smiled before her eyes started watering again.

"You have gray hair," she whispered. I smirked at her. "And laugh lines around your eyes."

"Ma, you said the same thing eight months ago," I laughed.

"They weren't so prominent," she mumbled.

"Sure they weren't," Dad chuckled. "Welcome home, son," he greeted and patted my back. "Let's get you inside."

Entering the living room I took a good look around. Even though I grew up in this house and knew every single corner in it, it still looked amazing. Every time I came home, there was always something new on display: a vase, a photo frame, new cushions; this time it was an antique clock that rested on the mantle of the fireplace. My mother loved going to bazaars, thrift stores and everywhere else she knew sold second-hand things. Her passion was to buy the items she liked, restore them herself, and then place them somewhere around the house. This was how I got my pride and joy; my Mariners baseball card collection with all the players from 1977 up to date. Dad almost had a heart attack when he saw that 'disgrace' in his house. Mom said that I could consider them as an heirloom to pass down to my sons when the time came. That made my father even angrier.

I sighed, sat on the couch and started to salivate once I saw the goodies on the coffee table: mint chocolate chip cookies, red devil cupcakes and a steaming apple pie. My stomach growled in protest and my father chuckled.

"Your things are in your room," he said and sat next to me.

"You didn't have to," I said and leaned forward to grab a cookie.

"Yes, I did," he stated. "Your mother is not the only who has the need to take care of you son. If we're lucky, we get see you twice a year and if taking your things to your room is one way I can do something for you, then I'll do it."

I cleared my throat to get rid of the lump. "I missed you, Dad," I whispered.

"Yeah, I missed you too, but shut up before the sobbing queen hears you," he grinned.

Mom entered the living room, holding a tray with her favorite coffee set. I made a move to get up and she glared at me. "Sit your ass down." I stifled a laugh because she almost never swore. She poured some coffee in a cup and handed it to me. I inhaled deeply: vanilla-caramel flavored coffee, my favorite. Peter would have called it coffee for pussies and I didn't give a damn.

"Now, how was your trip?" Mom asked as she sat down.

"Good," I replied as I shrugged my shoulders. "Thank God the Colonel gave me this short leave. It was very much needed."

She smiled and ran her fingers over my head. "Which is why, after you've had your coffee, you'll go and take a nap. I don't want to even think about how few hours you slept yesterday."

'_Three_' I thought bitterly, '_…the day _before_ yesterday._'

"How come you're going to Iraq early?" Dad asked.

Shit!

"Can we talk about it later?" I asked giving him a meaningful look. He nodded but someone else didn't like it.

"Answer the question, Edward," Mom demanded.

_Lie! Lie!_

"I was going to be transferred in six months time and take over SFC Crowley's Unit but he had a small accident and I was called to take over now instead of later," I said without giving too much information.

"Oh my," Mom whispered. "Is he okay?"

_If you consider six feet under as okay, then I suppose he is. _

"Sure," I smiled. "He'll be good as new in no time." She kissed my cheek and rested her head on m shoulder. She knew I lied but she didn't say anything… and I'm glad she didn't.

We talked for at least another hour when Mom excused herself to go and prepare dinner. I, on the other hand, went to my room to get some sleep or try at least. I took off my clothes and stepped into the shower. Moments like this always had me grateful for returning from a mission in almost one piece. When I was injured and witnessed Peter's death, everyone thought that I would suffer from PTSD. I had seen what it did to servicemen and prayed for it to never to happen to me. It has been tough, even up to now, I still have nightmares but very rarely. Therapy helped a lot but sometimes it felt as if it wasn't enough. Before we enlisted, we had researched what being a Marine entailed and PTSD was listed as one of the consequences of the job, especially during wartime. We saw documentaries and even met some patients but it wasn't enough to stop us.

'_Promise me brother that if something happens to me you'll make sure my girls are safe; that you'll be safe and sound. Don't allow war to fuck up your life._'

Peter asked me to make that promise on our way to Afghanistan. He died seven months later. At first I didn't want to accept the fact that he was gone; that I'd lost my best friend - someone I considered my brother. When I was shipped back to the States was the hardest. I had to live day by day knowing that he wasn't coming back, watching Mama Carmen console my mother instead of being consoled. And Maria, sweet and caring Maria withering away every day that passed by and yet she stayed strong for Carmen. Both Carmen and I tried to persuade her that Peter would want her to live her life and get married but she wouldn't hear any of it. Her answer was simple: my heart stopped beating the day my Peter died. The only thing I can do is to wait until it's time to meet him again.

And she still does. Both of them moved to Mexico a couple of years after Peter died. With the money they got, they opened a small diner and they're coping. The fact that we talk maybe twice a year over the phone was quite saddening since it was my fault. I knew that I should have made good on my promise to him but deep down I knew they suffered every time we talked. The fact that I was alive was enough to hurt them. After all I was responsible…

A soft knock on the door brought me out of my thoughts. Only then did I realize that the water had started to turn cold. I got out and wrapped a towel around my waist and opened the door. My father was sitting on my couch holding an ashtray.

"Your mother asked me to bring you this," he said and left it on the small coffee table.

I nodded, grabbed some clothes and went into the bathroom to get dressed. I knew that look my father had. He wanted to talk and there was no doubt about the subject. I dried myself, got dressed and went to face the music.

"Thank you," he said and looked at me with watery eyes.

_Sweet Jesus!_

"Nothing to thank me for Dad," I said and grabbed my cigarettes from my jacket. "I know that you watch the news." I sank down next to him, took out a cigarette and offered it to him. He hesitated for a second and I rolled my eyes. "I've got Listerine Strips."

"Fuck it," he said and took it. We smoked in peace for a few moments.

"How are things down there?" he asked looking at the floor.

"The same, more or less. You never know when the shit will hit the fan. So far everything is cool but at the same time everyone is on full alert. A buddy of mine is there on a different base and told me that everyone is shocked with Crowley's death," I sighed.

"I bet they are. Any one of them could be in their position," he said seriously.

"I know."

He nodded and got up. "Get some sleep," he said and kissed the top of my head. "I'll wake you up."

≈**Ж≈**

These three days passed by really fast and truth be told, I didn't like it. Mom had a small breakdown the previous night so Dad gave her a Xanax and before we even finished coffee she was dead to the rest of the world. When I woke up I still had a couple of hours before I needed to leave so I headed to the kitchen to have some coffee.

"Fucking Christ," I gasped and I grasped the door frame to prevent myself from falling flat on my ass. My Dad was sitting on the kitchen island with a glass of scotch, smoking.

"Coffee is ready," he said, putting out his cigarette and lighting another. The ashtray was full, his eyes bloodshot and the entire kitchen was freezing.

"Jesus, Dad. Are you trying to catch your death?" I closed the window above the sink and then headed to close the door. As I turned around I saw that a cup of coffee was already placed on the kitchen island along with cookies and a cupcake.

"You're all set up?" he asked as I sat down.

"Yes," I said and lit a cigarette.

"Good, good," he nodded. "Your mother made you a batch of cookies. I put them in your duffle bag when you were in the shower," he continued and cleared his throat. My father was never good with departures. He would be cool and right at the last second he would get all teary. "I got you two cartons of cigarettes and…"

I placed my hand over his and he stopped. "You didn't have to Dad, but thank you."

"Eat," he commanded.

Now _that,_ I could do. Once I finished everything I wiped my mouth and patted my stomach. "Best breakfast ever," I grinned.

Dad smiled sadly. "When are you flying to Iraq?"

"I'll spend a few hours in Seattle and then catch a flight to New York, London, Germany and finally Baghdad. Usually I would have to wait a bit but under the circumstances…"

"I see," he sighed and looked at his watch. "Help yourself to another cup of coffee while I get your things."

"No need to. I brought them with me on my way down."

He gulped the last drop from his glass and refilled it. You see, my father appeared to be strong in front of my Mom, but when it was just the two of us, he never hid his feelings. We were very close. Apart from Peter and Kate, I didn't have any friends when I was younger, so that made my Dad and me very close..

"I'm gonna be alright," I encouraged in a feeble attempt to cheer him up. That earned me a glare.

"Don't fuck with me kid," he hissed. "Until every single one of you leaves that goddamned place, you'll always be in danger. There will _always _be roadside bombs, there will _always_ be fucking snipers and there will _always_ be a couple of fuck ups who want to kill just to get a thrill out of it," he finished and lit another cigarette. "I almost lost you once, Edward."

"Dad, I'm not going to war; I'll only be gone for six months and then I'll be here for a long time. When I say I'm gonna be fine all you have to do is trust me."

"Trusting _you_ is not the issue," he mumbled. "It's those fuckers I don't trust."

I heard a horn indicating that my taxi arrived. I put on my jacket and went to get my things but Dad stopped me. "Go say goodbye to her and I'll wait for you outside."

As I entered their bedroom, I saw her sleeping peacefully. I didn't want to wake her up. I kneeled in front of her and lightly pulled back the hair that fell on her face. Even in her sixties, Mom was still a striking woman: caramel hair, beautiful hazel eyes, light freckles here and there. Anyone would be proud to have her as their Mom; she was kind hearted, soothing, funny, helpful, encouraging, the best damn cook and I was the lucky one that had her.

"I love you. Mom," I whispered and kissed her forehead. "I'll be back before you'll even miss me." I stood up and headed to the door and left the room as silently as possible.

Dad was waiting in front of the cab, lost in his thoughts. I cleared my throat because I didn't want to startle him. He turned to look at me and his eyes were full of tears.

"Be safe," he said in a hoarse voice.

"I will Dad," I vowed.

He nodded and placed his hand on my shoulder. "Come back to me."

I lowered my head because I knew if I looked at him I would start crying and that was out of the question. I felt his hands around my shoulders; engulfing me in a warm hug.

"I love you so much," he choked.

"Me too, Dad," I said and patted his back. "I'll call you when I reach Seattle."

"Say hi to Charlie from me."

"I will," I said and opened the cab's door.

Instinctively, I looked up and saw Mom standing in front of the window, holding the curtain. She waved at me and I smiled in return and blew her a kiss. She winked and made a move to 'catch' kiss in her hand and place it over her heart, a gesture she's repeated since I was very little. She'd be okay.

'Go' she mouthed.

And I did…

≈**Ж≈**

"Sir," I heard a woman call. I opened my eyes and blinked. "We're about to land so fasten your seatbelt."

"Thanks," I said and looked outside my window.

As I passed through the luggage claim, I called Mom at work and then Dad. They again told me to give their regards to Charlie, and to make sure to call them in-between flights no matter what time it was. When the doors opened I came face to face with the Major. Yes, he retired as a Major General but to me he would always be Major and I, Ginger.

"Edward," he called and gave me a one arm hug.

"Hey Major. How are you?"

"Never better," he said and patted my back twice. "What time is your next flight?"

"In four hours," I replied and stashed my cap in my jacket pocket.

"Wanna go out or find a place to sit here?"

"Here is better. Whenever we get together we forget about the time so…" I trailed.

We found a small and quiet café that had a small play area for kids. The entire time he was holding a small package with a yellow envelope taped to it.

"Let me get our coffees and we'll talk," he said and placed the box on a chair.

"I'll get them," I offered and he glared.

"Sit down, Ginger."

I folded my hands over my chest and smirked. "Ya know, I should be the one ordering you around now," I teased and he snorted.

"I may be retired but I'm old school Cullen. I'll drop you on your ass in no time," he laughed. "Black with one cream, correct?"

"Yes."

The Major was a unique person; a man not to be taken for granted and he made sure you knew that. He was the epitome of a Marine, a great friend and mentor. Despite our rank difference at the time he was serving, he knew how to separate friendship and work. He never deserved to be treated the way he was by his first wife. Charlie spoke of her only a couple of times since I met him and from the things he told me that woman was nothing. The only thing he is grateful to her for is his daughter. Isabella is a thirty-two year old Marine who is serving abroad at the moment.. Sue, his current wife, whom I'd only met a few times but I could tell just by looking at them that they were meant to be together. She was a second Esme. It's a shame these two never met. They'd talked a couple of times over the phone when I visited Charlie.

"So tell me what's new," Major said.

"There's nothing new apart from my sudden deployment. It kind of threw me off but I can't do anything about it," I said and took a sip from my coffee. "It's a shame they died they way they did and only five minutes away from Baghdad." Charlie snorted. That wasn't good.

"That motherfucker Edward, didn't die in Baghdad," he whispered as he looked around. "He died on his way to Abu Ghraib." _Come again? _"And this I know for a fact."

I brought my chair closer to the table and leaned forward. "Abu Ghraib?" I asked.

"From what I know he told everyone that he was going to Baghdad but he let slip to his Staff Sergeant that he was going there. There were rumors of test bombing around the area but he did what he wanted anyway and that cost him his life along with three others," he finished angrily.

"He had no place to go there Charlie," I said thoughtfully.

"This whole mess is under investigation because it's fishy," he sighed. "That damn facility might have changed name and hands but I'm sure there are still US prisoners there."

"Did the Colonel know?"

"No. For all he knew, Crowley was going to Victory Base Complex to visit his cousin because he 'broke his leg' during PT."

"Did he seriously tell that shit so he could leave?"

"Yes," he said affirmatively. "When the news spread, said cousin barged into the Colonels' office demanding to know what happened. So imagine Black's surprise when he saw him pacing like a madman in front of him."

I shook my head in disbelief. "I just hope this whole mess won't turn out to be a repeat of 2006. If he was that kind of man then I don't even want to think about how he treated his Unit."

"The Unit is damn lucky to have the SSgt it has and that currently fills your shoes until you get there," he smiled and leaned back to his chair.

I narrowed my eyes slightly. "You know him?"

"Oh yeah," he laughed.

I waited for a few seconds. "Who is he?"

"My daughter."

I blinked…

And blinked again…

I opened my mouth but nothing came out so I blinked. Major threw his head back and let a boisterous laugh causing a couple of head to turn in our direction. Once he regained his composure, he took out his wallet and handed me a picture… and I stopped breathing. She was gorgeous; pale skin- dark brown hair and her eyes… my God, those eyes were like mirrors to her soul. Her smile was breathtaking and I wondered if it would be that bright for real. Without realizing it I run my thumb over her cheek and tried to fantasize how it would feel under my touch.

"Are you done ogling my baby girl, Ginger?" Charlie asked and I jumped lightly, feeling mortified for having those thoughts about Isabella no matter how innocent they may or may not have been. It was his daughter for Christ sakes.

I cleared my throat and put the picture down but not before I looked at it once last time. "Sorry," I said lamely.

"No you're not," he chuckled. "She's a beautiful woman, Edward. I can acknowledge that."

"Strong genes you got there, Major," I teased. "Spitting image of you, that one."

"And in character as well, even though she mingles it with a bit of Sue sometimes," he grinned. "Stubborn as a mule."

I smiled lightly when I noticed a figure looming over Charlie's head; boring holes into his skull. It was Sue and from the look she had on her face, she was angry. What was surprising though, was that she had two little children with her: a boy and a girl. The girl had light brown hair with gray eyes, where the little boy had dark hair and brown eyes. The little girl tugged on her hand; Sue looked at her and pouted her lips to shush her. She looked up and smiled lightly at me before she squinted at Major's head. Someone was in big trouble.

"So," I said a little louder. "Since you mentioned that gorgeous wife of yours- who has the courage to put up with and you should probably kiss her feet for the rest of your lives- how is she?" I asked and bit the inside of my cheek.

Charlie paled for a second if not two and then sighed. "She's behind me, isn't she?" he asked, closed his eyes and turned around.

"Pa," the little girl shrieked cheerfully and fell into his arms. "Did you like our surprise? Nana said you'd be," she paused for a second and furrowed her cute little eye brows. "What did you say Nana?"

"That he'd be surprised alright," she sneered with a smile plastered on her face.

_Charles Logan Swan, you're fucked. _

"The best surprise ever baby," he said and blew a raspberry on the crook of her neck, making her shriek again and wiggle out his arms. He put her down and turned to look sheepishly at Sue. "Hi sweetheart," he kissed her cheek and whispered something in her ear. She huffed in response. He made a move to pick up the little boy but he didn't want to be picked up, so he hid behind Sue instead.

"Munchkins why don't you go and play and while I order you something to drink?" Sue asked them and they nodded eagerly. Once they went to the play area, she approached me and hugged me. "It's good to see you again, Edward."

"Likewise."

"Darling…" Charlie started only to be interrupted.

"Don't darling me, Charlie. Did you think that I wouldn't want to see him?" she glared.

"Sue, we'd…"

"Not a word, Charlie. I'm her mother and he is going to take care of my baby, won't you, Edward?" she asked and turned to look at me.

"Of course I will, Sue," I smiled.

None of us spoke for a few moments. "She won't want you to," Major said.

I shrugged. "I know. I wouldn't want that either."

"How did you get here?" Charlie asked her.

"Sam drove us to Port Angeles, then we took the ferry and once we reached Seattle I took a cab," she said grimly. "You know I don't like to drive with the kids in the car."

Sue got up, went to order something for the children and she called to them once she returned. They both ran toward our table, panting with rosy cheeks. The boy sat on Charlie's lap and started drinking his juice; looking at me. The little girl though had different plans. She took her juice and stood in front of me, smiling.

"My name is Lisa Swan, what's your name, Mr. Soldier?"

_Swan?_

"I'm Edward and I'm a Marine," I grinned and leaned forward a bit.

She beamed. "My mommy is the Marine too."

"She's _a_ Marine, Lisa," Sue corrected her.

"That's what I said, Nana," she pouted. "My mommy is away making sure our family is safe," she continued proudly. "Is your mommy the Marine too?"

I chuckled. "No sweetie. My mom sells flowers," I said and her eyes widened.

"Really?"

"Uh huh, lots and lots of flowers in any color and shape."

"Wow," she said and climb on my lap. "I like daisies. It's mommy favorite too."

_Good to know…_

Why the hell did I think that?

"I like daisies too." I really did. I grew up with flowers surrounding me and of all of them; they were the most delicate ones.

"Aren't you gonna introduce yourself buddy?" Charlie asked the little boy. He was still staring, as if he was trying to figure me out.

"I'm Chris," he said and continued sipping his juice.

"He's older than me but I'm smartest," Lisa said and I chuckled.

"Smart_er,_" Sue said.

"That's what I said, Nana."

"Do you go to school?"

"Yes! We start in three days," she said sounding excited.

"That's awesome," I feigned excitement. "School is important, so you make sure you do all your homework so you can do whatever you want when you grow up."

"I will be a princess when I grow up," she said and grinned.

I gasped. "But I thought you already were one."

"No," she giggled and I started tickling her sides. Once I stopped she rested her head on my chest.

Only God knew how much I craved for a family of my own. I wanted to have a wife, and kids running around the house; play with them and later on help them with their homework. Take pictures as they got ready to leave for prom. I wanted everything so desperately. I didn't want games and meaningless hook ups. I was past that age and to be honest I was never that kind of person. I'd had a relationship with all of my sexual partners. I had a one night stand once when I was pissed drunk. I felt horrible waking up the following morning and even more horrid that I was alone in my bed.

"I'm going to be a General," Chris said, taking me out of my thoughts.

"That's new," Charlie muttered.

"Are you a General?" the kid asked.

"No," I chuckled. "I'm a Sergeant First Class. I'm too young to be a General. Your Pa on the other hand…"

"Watch it, Ginger," Charlie glared and I smirked. "Ain't that old."

"Your hair says otherwise, Major."

_Attention please. The passengers of flight 734 to New York…_

"This is you, right?" Sue asked.

"Yes," I said sadly.

"Are you leaving?" Lisa asked.

"Yes honey."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm gonna go to a place far away from here."

"Will you come back?"

"Yes, I will but it will take some time," I said truthfully.

"Will you visit us again?"

"Of course, I will." She grinned and stretched her hands to pick her up. She kissed my cheek and hugged me tightly.

Charlie whispered something to Sue and she nodded. "Have a nice flight," she said politely and after she took Lisa she took them to the play area to wait for Charlie. He picked up the package and handed it to me.

"You give this to my little girl and tell her that I love her and to be safe." He looked down for a second and then back at me. "Take care of her Ginger 'cause she's the most important person in my world, okay?"

"With my life, Major," I vowed.

"Take care of your Unit and make me proud son," he said hoarsely and patted my back. "Have a safe trip."

"Thanks," I said and smiled at him.

"Oh!" he exclaimed. "I almost forgot." He took out a CD case and placed it on top of the box. "On the thirteenth of September, it's her birthday. You give that to her then, okay?"

"Sure Charlie."

He waved and walked away. I kneeled and put the package in my knapsack but not before taking the envelope off of it and putting it in my pocket along with the CD.

"Chris," Charlie called loudly. I snapped my head to their direction and saw the little boy running toward me.

"What is it buddy?" I asked. My God his eyes were so expressive, a rich deep brown like his mother's.

"Are you going to Ra… um," he paused for a second, "… Arik?"

"Iraq?" I asked and he nodded. "Yes."

"Are you going to see my mommy?" he whispered and his eyes started to water. _Fuck kid, don't start crying._

I looked desperately at Charlie asking for permission to tell him and he nodded. "Yes."

"Will you give her a kiss and tell her that I love her? I forgot to tell her yesterday because I was naughty and she got angry with me," he sniffled.

"I'm sure that's not true, Chris. Your mom loves you very much and no matter what you do she always will," I said sincerely.

"Really?" he frowned.

"Really," I said and winked at him.

He kissed my cheek and smiled shyly. "Don't forget to give it to her, okay?"

"Cross my heart," I grinned even though I was trying really hard not to cry in front of him. From colleagues I'd heard stories about leaving their families behind and it was tough for them. I knew how my parents felt whenever I left but this was the first time I'd witnessed this from a child's perspective. It was clear that they missed her very much and they didn't mention their father. It made me wonder if he was in the picture _at all_.

"Thank you," he said and turned around to leave.

"Thank you," Sue mouthed and wiped her eyes.

≈**Ж≈**

After long waits in-between flights and almost three days later, I finally reached my destination. By the time the plane landed in Baghdad, I was exhausted. I couldn't sleep, the food on the plane sucked and I smelled like hell. However, a nice hot shower and a fresh change of clothes would work like nothing else. I still had a lot of things to do before I could finally settle in. A Marine was waiting for me at the arrivals and he guided me to the flight line where a Chinook was being loaded with supplies. Once everyone was loaded, we took off.

When we landed at camp, a Lance Corp. was waiting for me and guided me to my can. He informed me that I had an hour before I had to meet with our Colonel for a briefing and also showed me where the heads were located. That shower was the best I ever had, hands down. The fifteen hour delay in Germany, due to weather conditions, killed me. I moaned loudly as the hot water hit my skin. I started scrubbing until all the grime had left my body and when I was satisfied I rinsed off and then shaved. I couldn't present to my Colonel sporting five o'clock shadow.

Snuffy was waiting for me outside my can, holding a cup of coffee in his hand. "What's your name Snuffy?" I asked and his body went rigid.

"McCarty, Sarge."

"Your given name."

"Emmett," he said but it sounded like a question.

"Where's my coffee?" I asked. Call me an asshole but I loved messing with my crew on my first day.

"This is yours, Sir," he said and handed me the cup.

"Where's yours?" I asked and took a sip.

"Sir?"

"You see Snuffy, I don't like drinking coffee alone," I chuckled.

"I had mine while I waited for you Sarge."

"Well, next time you'll have it with me, okay?"

"Yes, Sir."

"And enough of that Sir and Sarge shit. When we're alone, you're Emmett and I'm Edward. And later on a lady will be added to our little group."

He winced. "You mean Staff Sergeant Swan?" I nodded. "Good luck with that."

"Why?" I asked intrigued.

"She's a tough cookie, Edward," he whispered my name and looked around at the same time.

"Well, it's a good thing that I manage tough." Emmett laughed.

When the jeep arrived got in and drove to the Colonel's office. Once he saw the jeep from his window, he ended a call and stood up. Emmett informed me that he would be waiting here until we were done so he could take me to meet the Unit. Now _that_ was something to look forward to. I entered the office and saluted him.

"Sergeant First Class Edward Cullen, Sir."

"Have a sit seat, Sergeant," he commanded and motioned to the chair in front of me. "I assume you had a nice trip?"

"The delay in Germany was unexpected but other than that it was good, Sir."

"What do you know about this whole mess, Cullen?" he asked.

"Nothing more than what was released," I lied. He raised an eye brow and dismissed it.

He started explaining what I already knew from what Charlie told me. Black informed me that the US military had prisoners in Abu Ghraib and that they were supposed to be moved under the radar to a new facility. What was suspicious was the fact that there was no official order. There was an undercover investigation that was held but they are about to close the case as solved.

"Are you familiar with Major General Swan?" he asked. "He is retired now."

"Yes," I started. "I had the privilege to be under his command twice in my career."

"Well his daughter is the SSgt of the Unit and currently filling in for you. You'll have no issues with her. I'm waiting for the whole thing to calm down before we go further with the investigation so I'll give you a ten day adjustment and then with the help of Swan, I want you to assemble a Squad team. These Marines must be highly trusted and in the best physical shape. They have been neglected a lot, don't you think?" he smirked.

"I'll see to it Sir," I smiled.

"No one apart from the both of us, Swan, and the squad itself must know about this mission Sergeant," he said seriously. "We've no idea who is implicated and how far in rank it goes. The order came from high above and it's our duty to solve it." I nodded. "We don't want a repeat of 2006. That was a disgrace for the US military."

"It was indeed," I said truthfully.

We chat for a while longer and then he dismissed me. Emmett true to his word was waiting for me. On the way to meet the Unit, I remembered I forgot to take the envelope with me so we stopped by my can to pick it up. No matter how cool I thought I was, time stopped when I heard her calling the "attention" command. The beauty I had seen in that picture was nothing compared to the woman that stood in front of me. She was perfection; pure and utter perfection.

These troopers had suffered under the command of an indifferent SFC. The one person they could lean on gave no shit about them and it was a shame because there is a reason behind our post. Maintaining their physical state was something easy, the emotional part was the difficult one. All of us were vulnerable away from our homes and sometimes the reason behind our job wasn't enough. Here, all we had was each other; they were brothers and sisters and I was the mother hen. If they had an issue, they knew they could come to me and I'd do anything possible to help them. These men and women needed to know that I was here and I wasn't going anywhere. They needed to trust me and for the rest of the tour I'd make sure they did.

Introductions were made and then I needed to talk with her. Colonel Black told me a lot of things but let's face it - he wasn't there until things fell apart. Isabella was and whether it was right or not, she was in charge of these people when Crowley wasn't. I'd make sure she knew that I was nothing like him. I wanted her to trust me more than anyone else and honestly, I didn't know why. Maybe the fact that she was Major's girl was part of it.

As we walked to my office, I tried to imagine her around those beautiful angels of herσ. Here, she was professional and from what I'd gathered, she was bad ass, like her father. I could see a lot of Charlie in the part of the character she showed. She was fierce for one. One look in her eyes and you knew you couldn't fuck with her. I wanted to know more about her, but not from the others. I wanted to be the one she could open up to. And she would.

That was the main reason I told her how I met Charlie and how much he changed my life. Did I try to gain her trust by using him? Sure I did and I knew that he would do the same thing had the roles been reversed. The moment she realized it was her father I was referring to, it was game over for me. We were both molded by the same man after all. Her expression was one of pure torture when I mention him and I was very close in mentioning her children as well but I decided against it for the time being. I had a promise to fulfill to a sweet angel and I wasn't going to go against my word. Never had, never will.

On the mention that I had something for her, I knew that she wanted to leave. We all did. Her eyes glistened with tears when I handed her the envelope and no matter how much she tried to be strong, I knew that once she was alone she would cry her heart out. She was a mother aside from being a Marine, her kids were the axis of her world and I respected that.

≈**Ж≈**

With Emmett's help, I unloaded my things and gave him Bella's package to give to her. I spent the next eight hours buried in paperwork, checking supply lists, enlisted promotions, NCODP, reenlistments and retentions and many others among them. Bella had done a great job fulfilling the supply list for different sections of the Unit, lifting the burden a bit. The good thing was that the ten days of adjustment Colonel Black gave me, were enough to catch up with everything.

I lifted my head and realized that it was dark outside. The clock on the wall indicated that it was almost twelve. I arranged the papers on my desk and headed out. As I was walking toward my can, I heard a soft cry. There was no way it was an intruder because the dogs would have started barking, escaping from their cages and all hell would break loose. I followed the cry and a saw some light coming from a small tent. I approached as silently as possible and the sight before me almost brought me to my knees. Bella was sitting in front of a small TV, hugging her knees while she rocked herself. Her cheek rested on her knees and she was crying. On the TV were her children, in what seems a back yard; holding a sign saying 'I love you Mommy'. She sniffled and turned her gaze back to the TV and hit play.

'_Say something to Mommy,_' I heard Sue's voice say.

'_We love you, Mommy,_' both of them laughed.

The video stopped and she rewound it; hitting play and the same scene started again and then again. Every time she did she cried harder and it broke me to pieces. It was as if I could feel her pain and it was weird because I had experienced situations like hers many times but never this intense.

"I love you too my babies," she chocked. "So very much."

* * *

_**Military terms:**_

_**Cans: **little one room units with the bathroom/showers in different location._

_Enlisted Promotions: The First Sergeant oversees all enlisted programs in his unit. He recommends potential promotions (up to E-4) to the Company Colonel. And he ensures his NCOs know about promotion opportunities in the unit and outside of the unit._

_NCODP: Non Commissioned Officer Development Program. The First Sergeant oversees the NCODP program. He is always looking for creative ways to teach and develop his subordinate NCOs. He teaches classes and oversees classes._

_Reenlistments & Retention: One of the significant First Sergeant duties is reenlistments and retention. The First Sergeant tracks enlistments and knows when his Soldiers need to reenlist or leave the military. He is very involved with helping his Soldiers make the best decision for their career._

* * *

**A/N**

**There you have it… Epov.**

**Now I can't promise that you'll have an E pov every other chapter as I know the ones that will definitely be his. Anyway…**

**I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing.**

**Cejsmom thanks you for your awesome Beta skill and Monique a huge fat thank you as well…**

**You'll find me on Facebook as Penelope Griva and on Twitter as MrsECullenPen.**

**By clicking the magical button that says '_Review this chapter_' will bring you closer to your update and of course you'll get your teaser…**

**Until next time …**

_Pen…_


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.**

* * *

_**Previously…**_

'_Say something to Mommy,' I heard Sue's voice say._

'_We love you, Mommy,' both of them laughed. _

_The video stopped and she rewound it; hitting play and the same scene started again and then again. Every time she did she cried harder and it broke me to pieces. It was as if I could feel her pain and it was weird because I had experienced situations like hers many times but never this intense. _

"_I love you too my babies," she choked. "So very much."_

* * *

**Chapter 3**

* * *

_**BPov**_

* * *

The envelope was burning a hole in my pocket. I wanted so much to open and read it but I couldn't; not now. I would fall apart within seconds. I wandered around all day, trying to find something to do but it was fruitless. I helped feed the dogs, rearranged the supplies in BAS, and formed a PT plan in order to give it to our new SFC. Hell, I even helped the cook to plan next week's dinners. Yet it felt as if time stopped and I fucking hated it.

"Staff Sergeant Swan," I heard someone call. I turned around and saw Snuffy running toward me. "Sarge asked me to give you this," he said and handed me a package.

"Thank you," I smiled. "Where is he?"

"He's in his office. He said he's not to be disturbed unless it's necessary. Going through papers and stuff," he replied.

"Okay, McCarty. Make sure to say thank you from me."

"Done."

I turned around and started walking quickly toward the LZ. There was a small path where it ended at a very secluded area; the men had set a sort of tent with tables and chairs so they could sit and wait for the helicopters to arrive. The first thing I did was to open the bright yellow envelope. I smiled because I was sure my baby girl fought to get Chris to agree with the color. I took out the purple paper and opened it. There was a picture of my babies and parents, sitting on the sofa, smiling brightly. Underneath it said only one word: love. I sniffled and held the picture over my footlocker. I set the makeshift card down and hastily opened my package. On top there were two pocket sized books: Fallen by Lauren Kate and Mission: Blacklist by Eric Maddox. I giggled because I knew the fight that must have occurred when they bought the books. Mama surely freaked out and I could only imagine the bickering between them.

"_Charlie this is not a book that she'd be reading there."_

"_Sue, this book is based on true events and you know that she loves reading. You know that she was trying to find more info about what happened back there."_

"_She should be reading lighter books! My God Charlie, she has enough on her plate just by being there."_

"_That is why you bought that sissy book for her. Now she'll have a variety."_

"_You insufferable military crazed man!"_

There were six travel size boxes of Tampax, toothpaste, a new tooth brush, floss, _a lot of_ socks, panties, two sports bras, a medium Tupperware with cookies. These were god sent gifts; a small taste of home. The rest of the package contained granola bars, toiletries, pain relievers, a disposable camera, batteries and two cartons of cigarettes. The last item was a medium sized manila envelope. I opened it carefully and grabbed the contents. There were pictures of my beautiful babies, my parents at our cabin in La Push, a DVD and a letter from my father.

My eyes filled with tears as I started looking at the pictures. In one of them my little bugs were in their bathing suits and arm floaties; grinning widely. I kissed the picture and moved to the next ones. They were mostly of the new renovations Mom did right before I deployed. It belonged to Mom's late husband and it was passed on to her after his death. It was located in the woods and with only a five minute walk to reach the beach. I had wonderful memories from that place. I sighed and reached for the letter. It was dated a week ago.

_**Hello baby girl.**_

_**I am perfectly sure that my letter reaches you in perfect health so I'll spare you with the formalities. **_

_**Everything here is fine so you don't need to worry about anything- Mama makes sure of that. The kids are good too; not only physically but emotionally. They understand why you had to leave but I won't lie by saying that they don't need you. They'll always need you. **_

_**Anyway…**_

_**I didn't have time to gather many things to send you. I tried to keep it a secret from Sue but as you know I can't bake. You remember the time we tried to and we almost burnt the house, no? **_

I started laughing as I recalled the incident. Sue was gone for a week in order to prepare the house in Forks because Dad was being deployed to Afghanistan. We wanted to do something special for her, so we grilled steakes and for desert I wanted cookies. Throw a ten year old and a clueless man in the kitchen and you'll get a house full of smoke and coals instead of cookies .

_**When I asked her to make some cranberry chocolate chip cookies for the kids she called me on my bullshit. Believe it or not, I forgot that they don't eat them and before you say anything else I'm not old! Ginger's call was unexpected and my mind blocked. The chick flick is a courtesy of your mother. Don't blame me. You know my mad skills in choosing a book. She thinks I'm a bad influence in that department so be prepared; she already bought the rest of the books since it's a series. The cabin is finally done and it's beautiful. The kids love it and they demand to be taken there every weekend. Of course we don't complain.**_

_**Now I don't want to drag this letter so I'm gonna cut to the chase. Baby, I want you to trust Edward. In my heart, he's the son I never had. I know how difficult it is for you to trust anyone at this moment but he's worth it. He is a good leader and I'm sure that you know by now how we met. He is dedicated to his job and most of all he respects his Unit. I taught him everything I know; from ethics up to strategy. As far as his work is concerned, it's me in the form of a SFC. It may sound egotistical but it's true.**_

_**I love you and I miss you very much and I can't wait for you to come home on R&R. I got us season passes for the Mariners, in hope that we could catch a game when you come. Mama sends you all her love and to remind you to change socks twice a day so you don't get fungus on your feet. (Sorry baby but she was hovering over my head to make sure I wrote it.)**_

_**Love,**_

_**Dad.**_

_**P.S Make sure you give a couple of cookies to Edward. He has a sweet tooth.**_

I looked at the sky and realized that the sun was about to set. It had been a while since I felt calm and even though some may think that the letter was brief, it was as if I was there… with them. I quickly gathered my things and headed toward the racks. I had a few minutes to spare so a shower seemed a nice idea. Dinner would be served and once everyone was sleeping I would watch the DVD.

As I entered the rack I saw that Stanley was the only one there. The bitch as usual, glared at me. For the life of me I had no idea when she started to not like me; probably when I found her on her knees sucking off a second Lieutenant and warned them that I would have both of them reported. I once made the mistake of trusting one of them without knowing who he really was and I'd be damned if I let that happened to another person, Stanley or not. I shook my head lightly because that was something I swore never to think about again. I put the package into my footlocker and started gathering my things for my shower.

As I turned around, I realized that if looks could kill then I'd have vanished in an instant.

"Is there something wrong, Stanley?" I asked irritated.

"Yes," she said, "you." I smiled at her in a feeble attempt to tell myself that she's not worth it. "Every time I turn around I see your ugly face."

"Jess, stop it," I warned her.

"Or what? What's a mousy little nothing like going to do about it?" she challenged.

I took two deep breaths, let my things fall on my bed and approached her. "This mousy little nothing is your Staff Sergeant. Just because we are the same age doesn't give you the right to disrespect me. _You_ need to remember your place and you _need_ to _fuck_ off or else I swear on my kids you'll regret every word that comes out of your spunk filled mouth," I hissed. "Strike two, Stanley. You won't like the results of the third one."

"Oh, you remember you have kids?" she snorted.

I grabbed my things as I headed outside, I turned to look at her. "I do because _I_," I emphasized, "…decided to keep them unlike you who made it a medical waste." I stayed long enough to see her face turn a dangerous shade of blue. Bitch had it coming.

By the time I was done with my shower, we were called for dinner. I saw McCarty walking alone so I decided to join him. "Hey Snuffy," I grinned.

"Hello, Staff Sergeant Swan," he said firmly.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Loosen up, McCarty; I ain't a General for God's sake. Call me Swan here and Bella when we are in the confines of Edward's office or just the two of us."

"Okay," he beamed.

"Care to join me for dinner?"

"Are you asking me out, Swan?" he teased and I instantly glared, making him go pale.

I threw my head back and laughed out loud. "You're so easy to fuck with Emmett. I like you."

Luckily we got there first so we didn't have to wait. We took a tray and started looking at the variety of chow: noodles, beef, chicken, salad, veggies, corn beef hash browns, rice. I scrunched my nose. I would give my left kidney just to have a bite from Dad's grilled steak. I grabbed some noodles, chicken and a bit of salad. For desert they had fruit salad in heavy syrup; kind of yucky as my baby girl would say but better this than nothing. A girl would always need some sugar. I placed some of that on my tray along with some juice when I heard a small whistle. I looked up and I saw Ateara, our cook, motioning me to follow. That was good.

"Follow me, Snuffy," I said lowly.

Ateara stood at the end of the tables and fished something from his pocket. I nearly moaned when I saw a little bag of M&M's. That shit was so hard to find here and even if you did, they never tasted the same. He placed it on my tray and looked at Snuffy who was practically drooling.

_I feel ya kid._

"Stay here," he said lowly and within seconds he was back. "You didn't get these from me," he said and placed two on Emmett's overly stuffed tray.

"Why does he get two?"

"Because he's big. Off you go now," he said and winked.

"Sir, can I ask a favor?" McCarty asked and Quil nodded. "Can you save some dinner for the SFC? He's in his office going through some things and he won't make it."

"Sure," he smiled at him. "I'll have my newbie take it to him."

"No, you don't have to. I'll take it to him once I'm done eating," he grinned and sat on the chair right next to him.

We started to chat while we ate. He was twenty-four years old and the only boy in his family, he had four sisters and he was the middle child. He lived in Tennessee all his life and had decided to join the Marines to help his family, since his father lost his business. Snuffy was a good kid.

"What about college?" I asked and took a bite of my salad.

He smiled sadly. "I had a full football scholarship; I was studying Law."

"And you dropped everything?" I asked surprised and he nodded.

"Back in Knoxville we had a comfortable life. My eldest sisters had just started their residencies and my third one was on her first semester in Yale. I couldn't let them struggle Bella. It would've been selfish of me, so, much to their dismay, I dropped college and enlisted. We never wanted for anything," he said and sighed. "I couldn't let them struggle."

"You're a good son, Emmett," I smiled and swallowed down my last bite of salad.

He shook his head. "It's not about being a good son or not. They did they best they could to raise my sisters and me the best way possible. Quitting school and enlisting was the only thing I could do to help them in their time of need. I'm a man and I'm capable of doing any work - my sisters on the other hand," he trailed off.

"And that's why I said you're a good son. I'm a mom after all and I know when I see a good kid," I grinned.

"You have kids?" he asked and his eyes instantly fell on my ring finger. I giggled.

"Yes. I have a little boy and girl," I started. "Lizzie and Chris. They're five and twins," I continued, "and before you ask no, I'm a single mom. My parents are taking care of them when I deploy."

"Tough shit," he mumbled.

"It is indeed," I said, as I took out a picture and gave it to him. "This was taken a couple of days before I left."

He smiled. "Cute. The boy, hands down, is obviously yours," he chuckled. "The girl," he said giving me back the picture, "… She has the shape of your eyes."

I nodded. My Lizzie looked a lot like the sperm donor but I didn't care one bit. He would never get to know her; he would never get to hear her call him Daddy or play with her. He gave up on them before they were even born and I was glad he did. Marcus was a lying son of a bitch and he didn't deserve them. He was a heartless, selfish, vain man that never respected the needs and wishes of others. These… aspects of him were revealed after I told him about my pregnancy. Up until then he was funny, attentive, understanding. I sighed. Why did people change when they came across to a challenge they didn't want?

"Because they're pussies," Emmett replied, making me jump. "That's why."

How true…

"Come on Snuffy," I said and stood up. "Sarge must be starving."

On our way out, Stanley was entering along with Hale. I could see that Rose was trying to distract her because if she opened her mouth either I would have to punch her… gladly or report her which I didn't like. Luckily she didn't utter a word - not that she had the guts to do anything in front of everyone. She could say whatever she wanted when it was just the two of us and thankfully she knew how to keep her trap shut in front of others. I was in a good mood today and I ordered myself not to spoil my happiness just because of her. McCarty and I continued to walk in silence until he stopped and addressed me.

"Bella, I know my place and all but can I ask you a question?"

_Fuck. _"What is it, Emmett?"

"What's the deal with um, Stanley, I think is her name?"

He did notice then. "Stanley and I don't get along."

"Can I ask why?"

"No, you can't," I said firmly and he frowned. "Look, Stanley hates my guts for unknown reasons and also hates the fact that no matter what she does she's still inferior and that won't change anytime soon."

An awkward silence followed after that until Emmett decided to speak again. "I hear that we are gonna have quite a wake up call."

I gave him a side glance and smiled wickedly. "I know at least one that sure will."

"Want me to wake you up on my way to SFC?"

"It will be the other way round more likely."

When we reached the racks, Emmett took one bag of M&Ms, placed it on the tray, bid me goodnight and left to go to Sarge. I sighed as I recalled a pair of green eyes. Those eyes would get me in a lot of trouble and I didn't need shit like that. I had enough on my plate as it was. Yes, I respect the fact that my father thought the world of him but that was his opinion, not mine. I had trust issues after Marcus and I didn't know if I wanted to change that or not. I was fine as I was.

Mama once told me that all fingers weren't the same and that he was just one crooked among the straight ones. I understood what she was trying to tell me but she also knew that I didn't just give my heart to anyone. He humiliated me in the worst way possible by insinuating that my babies weren't his.

_Did you think that by getting knocked up you would have a chance for a permanent place in my life? How do I even know if that thing is mine?_

I could feel my eyes started to water with tears and I willed them away. He didn't deserve anything.

I opened my footlocker, grabbed the DVD and a pack of cigarettes. I didn't smoke much but I knew that I would need that shit. I walked around until everyone had gone to bed. Some might think that it was stupid of me being cryptic and all, but not me. Without anyone breathing down my neck, I could be myself and feel whatever I wanted. I went in the small tent, where we kept a small TV with a DVD player, popped in the disc and the screen became alive.

"_Sshhhh,_" Mama said while she was taping. My babies must had just woken up. "_Remember the rules?_" she giggled.

"_Don't pull Pa's mitsase,_" my girl smiled.

"_Mustache,_" Mama corrected.

"_That's what I said Nana,_" Lizzie said and smiled.

"_What's the next rule, Chris?_"

"_Not to poke Pa's belly._"

The door opened and a loud snore came from my father's mouth, making my angels giggle. I smiled and my eyes started to brim with tears. This time I let them fall. I missed their laugh so much and their wake up calls. My bugs climbed the bed carefully and stood on either side of my father. There was no way in hell he wasn't wake. A needle would fall and he would bolt from the bed in the blink of an eye. My girl kissed his cheek and Chris lifted Charlie's hand. It dropped like dead weight. Yeah, he was definitely awake and he would scare the living shit out of them.

"_Nana, is he dead_?" Chris asked.

"_No baby,_" she laughed lightly. "_He's just a heavy sleeper._"

Lizzie poked his cheek. "_Pa, wake up. We have to go to the beach._"

Nothing happened. Chris tugged his earlobe. Nothing again. Chris groaned and Lizzie turned to look at Mama.

"_Nana, if he doesn't wake up we will have to break the rules,_" she said as seriously as possible for a five year old. "_We have to make Mommy's movie and he's sleeping._" Dad opened his eyes for a second and winked before closing them again.

"_Oh well,_" Mama sighed. "_You'll just have to break the rules then._"

Both of them grinned evilly and three things happened at once; Lizzie tugged on Dad's pornstache - as Mom called it once - Chris poked Dad's belly repeatedly and Dad roared, scaring the crap out them. My kids screamed bloody murder and he grabbed them, one in each hand, flipped them over and started tickling them.

If anyone saw my father and didn't know his personally, he/she wouldn't think that he was over forty-five. My father exercised daily and had a couple of beers every other week. The only bad habit he had, which I picked up after my first deployment, was smoking. We didn't smoke a lot; a packet every four, five days maybe. Mom gave us shit but eventually she gave up stating that if anyone dared to smoke in the house, especially after the babies came, then we would see a Sue Swan that was never seen before. I had quit while I was pregnant but all it took was a new deployment to start that shit again.

"_Pa,_" my girl screeched, "_I want to go potty._"

"_Are you gonna tug Pa's mustache again?_"

"_No, no I swear,_" she laughed and he released her.

He then focused on Chris. "_As for you, young man, are you gonna poke Pa's tummy again?_"

Chris tapped his cheek, a habit he got from me. "_Only if you don't wake up easily,_" he compromised.

Dad huffed, turned to look at the camera and grinned. "_Just like his Mama._"

The screen went black for a couple of minutes and the next thing I saw was the front of the cabin. Cabin my ass; the cabin that was turned into a house. The front porch was beautiful and there were new flowers planted. Sue walked in each room explaining all the changes she made; especially in the kids' room and the two additional rooms she added. She turned the camera to herself.

"_You see baby, I want more grand-monkeys one day and simply one room isn't enough._" I snorted.

"Dream on Mama. Two are enough," I said out loud.

"_Nana, Nana, we're ready,_" Chris called.

She turned the camera back to her. "_They got new swimming suits and wanted to show them to you. It's a bit chilly today so they won't go in._"

She walked out to the backyard and there were my babies, wearing camo swimwear, holding a banner that said 'I love you Mommy'. That was all it took and the silent tears turned into full sobs.

"_Say something to Mommy,__"__ M__om said. _

_"We love you, Mommy," __my babies cheered happily._

I had no idea how long I'd been playing the same scene over and over. Flashes of our shared memories; our happy ones only because there weren't any sad ones - not when someone had angels like mine. Every breath I took was for them… because of them. Before them I was empty; I couldn't understand why Mom was frantic when I was sick or how she could love me. Only after I felt them move, did I realize the enormity of being a mom. I hugged my knees and started rocking back and forth in a feeble attempt to mimic our rocking when I had them in my arms.

My beautiful babies….

"I love you too, my babies," I choked. "So very much."

**~Ж~**

I opened my eyes and looked at the time. It was fifteen minutes past three and I knew that there was no chance I would go back to sleep. I got up, picked my PT clothes and went to the head to brush my teeth and get dressed. Once I was done, I grabbed the air horns, the cookies and headed toward Edward's office. I smiled because it was a new day and without knowing why, I found myself whistling 'Don't worry, be happy.' It was going to be a good day. As I rounded the corner, I saw Emmett standing outside the office, holding three cups of coffee.

"I hope one cup is for me, Snuffy," I grinned.

"Well good morning to you too, Bella," he beamed and looked at my hands. "Three air horns weren't enough, you had to bring six?"

I giggled. "Let's just say that two Marines have a hard time waking up."

He laughed loudly.

"Someone is in good spirits," Sarge said suddenly and I jumped out of my skin.

"Jesus, Sarge," I hissed. "Don't sneak up on us like that." He smirked.

"Let's get inside and plan our day," he said and unlocked the office.

"Ladies first," he said and motioned for me to head inside. I swear my knees buckled a bit.

Once we were inside, he took the air horns from my hands and furrowed his eyebrows for a moment. "Six?"

"Two for Stanley and two for Newton," I said and sat down. He narrowed his eyes momentarily at the sound of their names.

"What do you have there?" Emmett asked pointing at my lap.

"Breakfast, but you only get two each or else there won't be any left by tomorrow," I said firmly.

"We get four, Emmett," Edward said seriously, while he unlocked his desk drawer.

"They're my cookies," I huffed. "I get to choose how many I give."

"You don't get to make decisions, Staff Sergeant Swan," Sarge said with authority. "You follow mine." I opened my mouth but he cut me off. "And I said four because," he continued, "I have cookies as well," he said and presented his own Tupperware. Then he started laughing.

_Asshole!_

"Did she just call you an asshole?" Emmett gasped.

Fuck!

"She also called me a psycho," Edward grinned. "That's why I think we're going to make a great team."

"Because she called you names?"

"No, because she's not afraid to say what she thinks even if she doesn't realize she speaks her mind."

"Are you done making fun of me?" I asked. "I have no issues in eating all of my cookies in front of you and not sharing."

Emmett whimpered and within seconds he was on his knees in front of me. "I swear on my mama's blessed heart that I won't make fun of you ever again. Please please, don't be so cruel."

I sighed, shrugged my shoulders, opened the lid, brought it to my nose and inhaled deeply. "Dunno, Emmett. You hurt my feelings." I looked at Edward but I got sidetracked once I saw his lips: they were pouted. He was trying not to laugh but, my god his lips… My mouth went dry and I felt the need to lick mine.

"Please," Emmett begged.

Emmett's begging took me out of my ogling and I looked up to find Edward looking at me intently. Gone were the pouty lips. He cleared his throat and looked at the clock beside him.

"Emmett, enough with the begging, let's have some coffee," he said without sparing me another glance.

I didn't need that shit. I promised myself to never be involved with a colleague and I'd stick to it.

'_Why the fuck did you think that?'_ my mind screamed.

Why the fuck indeed.

"Here," I said and passed the Tupper toward him. He made a move to grab three and I slapped his hand. "Two." I turned toward Edward and he was eating one of his own. "Your turn," I said and without looking he grabbed two.

He took a sip from his coffee and once he bit into the cookie, he moaned loudly.

Fuck! What was wrong with me?

"Oh, Mom," he said as he chewed.

"Huh?" I said dumbly.

"This is my mother's recipe," he said and he swallowed. "Cranberry chocolate chip cookies."

"No, my mom made these," I said.

"Yes, but the recipe came from mine."

"How can it be from yours since mine made them?"

He sighed. "Bella, I've been eating these cookies since I was a kid. You think I wouldn't recognize my mom's recipe?"

"Huh?" I said again.

"They know each other," Emmett piped in and made a move to take two cookies from Edward's Tupperware.

"Thank you, Emmett," Edward snickered.

"How?"

"They flew down when I was hospitalized in San Diego and they met," he said and took out a pack of cigarettes. "Do you mind?" he asked and when we shook our heads he lit one. He wrapped his lips around the tip and he inhaled the smoke. Now many would think that it was disgusting but fuck it was hot.

"Do you want me to open the window?" Emmett asked and I was perfectly sure I changed ten different shades of red once I realized that I had vocalized my thoughts... hopefully only the last part.

_Will you shut the fuck up?_ My inner voice yelled. I nodded in fear of saying something stupid and started eating my share.

"When was the last time you all had a proper PT?" he asked.

I swallowed and picked up my coffee. "I made sure they ran three miles every day and did some pull ups. I was too busy behind the desk."

He nodded. "I hope they'll have energy cause they're gonna need it. We'll do an unofficial fitness test scoring."

"Three mile run, pull ups and crunches?" I asked.

Edward smirked, bit the inside of his cheek and shook his head no. "Three mile _hump_, pull ups and crunches"

Emmett laughed loudly. "Man, this is gonna be so cool. Who's gonna drop first?" Edward and I snickered.

"Okay," I said, drank my remaining coffee and stood up. "Let's go."

First stop were the men. We sneaked into the racks and separated. Edward in the middle and Emmett and I were at the far ends of the room. On his count, we pressed the air horns and everyone jumped from their beds.

"Atten-hut!" Emmett called. All of them were pale as sheets.

"You've got five minutes to get dressed and get outside," Edward said.

"Yes, Sir," everyone called.

The female racks were exactly opposite from the male. Once I entered I headed directly to that whore and stood above her head. With a nod we pressed the horns and all hell broke loose. All of them jumped up; some of them fell down and others yelled.

"What the fuck?" Stanley screeched and I smirked.

_Take that bitch!_

Once Edward repeated his order, I hid the air horns and went out. Half of the men were already out and more kept coming, once everyone was there we stood in attention in front of our Sergeant.

"First of all, good morning," he said firmly. "I would like to go over some ground rules. Rule number one: I do not tolerate fights between Marines. You need to vent; you come to me and we'll talk and if you don't want to talk, reacquaint yourself with the punch bag or run. Rule number two: I do not like disrespect. You have issues with one of your brothers or sisters you come to me. Insulting a higher rank to his/her face…"

Fuck Emmett, what did you do?

"…is unacceptable. Rule number three: I'm not a softie. I don't care how things were running until I got here. Everything will be done my way. You don't like it; that's your problem not mine. Rule number four: private _needs_ will be held elsewhere."

_Oh shit!_

"Last but not least: if it ever comes to my attention that a nasty glare from any of you is directed at another Marine, you'll have to answer to me. Personal disputes have no place here, got that?"

No one even dared to breathe. "Did you get that?" he yelled. Fuck he was pissed.

"Yes, Sir," we all called. I swear on my kids' lives, that I felt Stanley's glare boring through my skull.

"Good," he said and looked around for a second. "Today we'll be performing a fitness test. You fail. You repeat."

**~Ж~**

The day went by quickly and PT was good with no failures. Throughout the day I came across Jessica several times and every single one of them, she would glare. I was perfectly sure she thought that I spoke to Edward about her behaviour. I tried to find Emmett a couple of times but he was locked up inside Edward's office. As I was about to hit the head, Hunter came running to me.

"Swan, Colonel needs you in his office," he panted.

"Why?"

"Why the fuck should I know?" he asked surprised. "I was asked to come and get you ASAP. The SFC is there as well."

"Okay," I said, tossed my things on my rack and left.

By the time I rounded the corner I could hear Colonel's screams. "I don't give a fuck! You do as I tell you!"

Shit. I was about to knock on the open door when he saw me and motioned me inside. Edward was sitting as he waited for the Col. to finish his phone call.

"Do not threaten me Sanchez!" he screamed. "I don't care who his father-in-law was. You keep your mouth shut or I swear to God that the next time you see home will be on your retirement!" He slammed the phone and sank on his chair. Emmett, whom I didn't see standing at the end of the room, handed him a bottle of water. I glared at him and he furrowed his eyesbrows at me.

"Do you need anything else, Sir?" Emmett asked.

"Close the door and sit down," Black said. "I've gathered you here because Crowley's case was officially closed earlier this morning. The report said that he was killed by a roadside bomb on his way to Victory Base and that there was no involvement in Abu Ghraib." I inhaled deeply. That wasn't good. "Apparently, they did everything they could to wrap this fucking mess as soon as possible."

"Sir?" Edward said.

"Swan, name five Marines, top shape and trustworthy," he commanded.

"Hunter, Whitlock, Newton, Hale and Stanley."

Emmett and Edward snapped their heads in my direction. Yeah, I was surprised too, naming that whore, but this was business and she was good. I trusted her on the field and she knew her shit.

"Cullen," he started. "You will form a squad with these five Marines, eight including you, Swan, McCarty and four that will be my choice. This mission will be secret. If this comes out I will hold you responsible. I don't care what time you train or when you have your briefings; I want you to go out there and find out what the fuck was going on," he finished angrily.

"Sir, can I ask who initiates this mission?" Edward asked.

"I do," Colonel said. "You're not the only who's old school Cullen. I come from a military family and I grew up to be descent and trustworthy. If this whole thing gets buried and later on comes back as a false report, whose ass is going to be bitten? Mine. The fish smells from the head ladies and gentlemen and I don't want the rest to spoil. Crowley must have worked for someone else. Find out who it was."

"Okay," we all said in unison.

"Swan," Col said. "The medic might not come with you so make sure you're covered with supplies; time to put your second specialization into action just in case."

"Sir," I said and nodded.

"I'll assemble the team ASAP, Sir," Edward said. "Could you please inform your men to meet us in my office in thirty?"

"Yes, but when you gather them, make it sound as if they are in deep shit. We don't know who and if anyone is implicated. This is top secret people."

With a last nod we quickly left and went to Edward's where he excused himself for a few minutes. Once Emmett and I were alone I pounced on him.

"What the fuck did you tell him, Emmett?" I snarled.

"Tell who?" he asked surprised.

"Edward, you idiot! What did you tell him that he had to set those 'ground rules'?" I air quoted.

"Nothing," he said.

"Don't lie to me," I hissed.

"I don't lie. I said nothing!"

"Then who did?"

"As much as it surprises you Bella, many of the men and women here respect you. I didn't say a thing to him. I'm not a snitch," he said offended.

"Who did then?" I repeated again.

"That's not your business," Edward said irritated, making us jump. He walked toward his office. "Swan, are you sure about these people?"

"Yes, Sarge," I said and he nodded.

"Go gather them and come back," he ordered.

Both Emmett and I scattered in different directions. I quickly entered the rack, knowing that I'd find both of them there and I was right.

"Hale, Stanley, on your feet and follow me," I ordered.

"Why?" Hale asked.

"Why?" I yelled pissed. "Both of you fucked up and you have to report to the SFC." Hale paled and the bitch was pissed. "Get dressed, now!"

I looked at my watch impatiently and once they were done we were gone. As we entered I was surprised to see Cheney, Yorkie and two Privates I didn't know. Emmett soon followed with the rest. The whole meeting lasted about an hour. The following day, we were having an official fitness test. The mission team was supposed to 'fail' so we would repeat it the day after tomorrow. In the meantime, I would supply us all with ammunition and everything else needed. In seven days time we would leave on the pretence of going to Baghdad for a couple of days in order to attend some sort of seminar.

"Get some rest," Sarge said and stood. "We'll have an early wake up call. Swan, Stanley you stay, the rest, you're dismissed."

Fuck!

Once everyone was gone, he looked at us. "It has come to my attention that you two have some issues. I don't give a damn what it is so you keep those issues out of this mission. I expect both of you to be professional and have each others back, do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Sir," we both said.

"Go," he said without give us a second glance.

I knew that the next seven days would be tough but not once did I ever expect what would happen…

* * *

**Military terms: **

**Three mile hump: **_it's a three mile run with packed their packed bags on their backs_

* * *

**A/N:**

**Yes, I know I suck for the late update. Sorry. **

**Hello… **

**Sorry for the delay I've been quite busy, taking care of the house AND look for job at the same time. It's been exhausting. To my defense the next chapter is already with Monique. It came pretty fast, lol**

**This was the third chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. I know that the updates are slow but I like to have a good chapter before I give it to you guys so I need to make sure it's okay.**

**Cejsmom, Monique, THANK YOU. Without you this story would be a disaster. Lol**

**Buckle up people because we're about to enter some deep shit. *grins evilly***

**I'd like to rec a story. It was posted as a one shot but she's think of making it a short WIP. It deserves to be read…. Copward if ya know what I mean… lol**

The Officer Is No Gentleman by ImHereToReview

Summary: An unfortunate accident brings newly divorced Bella back home to Forks to care for her father. Can she, herself heal as well? What might a sexy police officer have to do with it?

**You'll find me on Facebook as Penelope Griva and on Twitter as MrsECullenPen.**

**By clicking the magical button that says '_Review this chapter_' will bring you closer to your update and of course you'll get your teaser…**

**Until next time …**

_Pen…_


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine. **

_**Previously…**_

_Once everyone was gone, he looked at us. "It has come to my attention that you two have some issues. I don't give a damn what it is so you keep those issues out of this mission. I expect from both of you to be professionals and have each others back, do I make myself clear?"_

"_Yes Sir," we both said. _

"_Go," he said without give us a second glance. _

_I knew that the next seven days would be tough but not once did I ever expect what would happen…_

* * *

**Chapter4**

* * *

**EPov**

* * *

"_Sir?" someone called. I raised my head and saw her standing at the door. "Can I talk to you?"_

"_Sure come in and close the door behind you." She shifted nervously from one leg to another and looked anywhere but me. Something was troubling her. "Sit down Corporal and tell me what's wrong."_

_She sighed. "Um, I don't know how to say this so I will just… say it." I nodded allowing her to proceed. "I've been in this Unit for one and a half year now and some people hold a special place in my heart. One of them is Staff Sergeant Swan." I inhaled deeply when she said her name. "Ever since we got here, she'd been acting like a mother hen; she took care of us, trained us, and listened to us."_

"_I understand that."_

"_Sir, you seem to know what you're doing and I can only hope that you'll do something about it. There is a certain Marine that has a grudge against Swan. She disrespects her, insults her and glares at her every time they meet. Don't get me wrong, she's a good Marine but the way she treats Swan isn't fair. Earlier this evening I had to distract her at the mess hall because they sort of had a disagreement and Stanley wanted to start a fight."_

_I started getting worked up but I needed to know more. I was perfectly sure that she could see I was getting angry. "Do you know how this dispute started?"_

"_Do I have your word that it won't come out?" she asked timidly._

"_Go ahead," I said and rubbed my temples._

"_A few months before we were deployed; during our first set of work-ups, Swan caught Stanley and a Second Lieutenant in um… a compromising position. She threatened to have them reported. Ever since, Stanley hates her guts when all she did was to do her job," she sighed._

"_Is that all?" I said and looked at her._

"_Yes, Sir," she said. I could tell that she was relieved._

"_I'll take care of it. You may go now." She nodded and headed toward the door. "Hale?" I called._

"_Yes, Sir?"_

"_Thank you for telling me."_

It had been two days since my talk with Hale. I tossed and turned that night. Charlie would always tell me to listen to my gut and never listen to what others told me. I thought about everything Hale told me and decided to observe Stanley. It only took me a second to realize that she was capable enough to cause trouble. That was the main reason I'd set those rules- it was a way of telling her that I wouldn't put up with her shit. It took me two minutes to recite them and in those two minutes, her hateful eyes could poison half of the world. When Black informed us of the mission, I was beyond surprised when I heard Bella name Stanley. It meant that she trusted her and Hale's words of her being a good Marine came back to me. However, I decided to warn Stanley, and silently pass a message to Bella that I knew what was going on; that I had her back.

Something shifted in me, when I saw her so vulnerable in that tent. It took all my strength not to go in there and take her in my arms; take her pain away. She was a strong willed woman but when it came to her kids… Chris's request was burned into my soul. She would be angry that I didn't tell her at once that I'd met her kids but knowing the fucked up situations we could run into, I decided to keep that to myself for the time being. I wanted to know more about those kids. I smiled as I recalled Lisa's giggle; she was an adorable little girl. I figured out that the father was out of the picture and no matter how curious I was; I didn't want to ask.

Of course, the day we had breakfast for the first time was another incident that made me feel more attracted to her. I've seen a lot of beautiful women in my life but the beauty of her face put all of them to shame. The way she smiled, the way she blushed. That blush made my body react so badly; it made me want to throw her over my shoulder and run. The way she licked her lips to moisten them, or how she chewed her lower lip when she was thinking, it did something to me. While I was back home I would see a beautiful woman and that was it; just a beautiful woman, I'd never have any reaction. Bella was different. Yes, she was beautiful but I had the suspicion that she didn't know it. From the little time I've known her personally and not only through Charlie's stories, I came to the conclusion that she had no idea the effect she had on men; myself included. One might have laughed at the irony of the situation I was in. I had finally found a woman I was interested in, here, instead of home and I couldn't do a damn thing about it.

First of all she was Major's daughter. Out of respect alone, I couldn't allow myself to think of pursuing her and fuck my life if I didn't want to. Then there was the issue of being stationed in the same Unit. As NCOs we could be together- if there was a chance- but one of us would have to transfer to a different unit because the relationship couldn't interfere with work; it could get messy.

"Sir?" .

"Come in," I said. Bella came in and closed the door behind her. "What can I do for you?"

"Is it true?" she asked.

I furrowed my eyebrows. "About what?"

"That Hal…"

"I'm gonna stop you right there, Bella," I said and raised my hand lightly. "It's not your business who told me and whoever did, did the right thing." She started chewing her lip…again. That lip was gonna be the death of me. I cleared my throat. "How did PT go?"

"Good," she mumbled. "Whether you believe it or not they are sort of excited for this mission."

I nodded. "They should also be careful."

"We will," she grinned. "We make a good team after all."

I smiled. "Have you talked to Charlie?" She frowned.

"No. The server was down today."

"Give him my regards and tell him I'm taking care of it."

"Okay," she said but it sounded more like a question. "I was thinking of going to the dogs. I like helping while they feed them. Wanna come?"

Having nothing else to do for the time being, I decided to accompany her. It had been a tiring day and I really needed a break. I locked my office and we started walking toward the canines, in a comfortable silence. I wanted to get to know; I wanted her to open up to me and talk to me about those two little angels and her fears. I wanted to know every single aspect of hers; things that not even her closest friends knew. I knew I was walking on a thin line but I also knew that no matter how much I tried, I always found myself thinking about her.

"What kind of music do you like?" I blurted.

"Classical Rock's my all-time favorite but Country music is easy to my ears also," she smiled.

"Good," I said.

_Good? That's all you could come up with Cullen?_

"You?" she asked.

"A bit of everything but I lean more to Classic Rock even though my parents listened to nothing else, apart from oldies and classical music," I chuckled. "I can still hear my mother screaming to turn the volume down whenever I listened to KISS." She giggled and I beamed at her not knowing why. '_You know fucking why,_' my inner voice sang. She was gorgeous.

"Which song?" she asked.

"I was made for loving you," I sang lowly and sighed happily. "I remember saving my weekly allowance in order to buy a poster. It was one of Gene Simmons profile, full paint on his face with that monstrous tongue of his out. I think that the whole neighborhood heard her screaming 'take that Satanist down from your wall' when she saw it hanging right above my bed. My father on the other hand he told me to take it down calmly but once my mom turned her back he high thumbed me."

Bella threw her head back and started laughing loudly. Call me a pussy but I had never heard anything more beautiful than her laugh. That moment I promised to myself that I would do anything to hear her laughter more frequently.

"Which is your favorite band?" she asked. "Apart from Kiss, that is."

"Nah, I surpassed the Kiss phase pretty quickly," I snorted, "… and rather violently."

"How?"

"That story is for another day," I said. "I can't choose a favorite one because as I said I grew up with that kind of music. Every band represents a different era for me so…" I trailed off. "Yours?"

"Journey," she said at once. "I'm in love with Steve Perry's voice. It speaks to my soul, you know?" I nodded. "My second favorite is Bad Company. It's a shame they were underappreciated back in those days."

"That was and still is a good band. Too bad they don't produce music any more. As for Journey, they were okay," I replied. She gasped.

"Okay?" she asked offended. "The years where Steve Perry was the lead singer, were, are and forever will be irreplaceable. Why do you think that every single singer they recruited after Steve tried to imitate his voice or had almost the same tints in their voices, hm?"

"Easy there, Bella," I grinned. "I'm just messing with ya."

She furrowed her brows and huffed. "No one makes fun of Journey in my presence."

As we rounded the corner, we heard a dog's bark. The instructor was sitting outside of the cage holding a bowl of food, while the dog was barked menacingly.

"What the fuck did you do to her, Jordan?" Bella said and grabbed the bowl from his hand. The dog hunched lowly and continued barking.

"Nothing, Swan," he said angrily. "By the time she saw me, she started acting like that. Stupid bitch," he muttered.

"Don't call her that, asshole," Bella hissed and turned toward the Shepherd. "Leah, stop," she commanded and the dog stopped barking but not the growling. Bella went in the cage, kneeled in front of the dog and placed the bowl to her side. With slow moves, she started petting her along her spine. "There's my beauty," she whispered softly. "Good girl."

Jordan sighed next to me. "Ever since Hue died, she's been like that." Hue Martins was one of the Marines that died along with Crowley and was Leah's instructor. "Only Hue and Swan can get to her."

"She misses her boss," I said.

"Such a sweet, sweet girl," Bella whispered to Leah. The dog whined and licked Bella's hand. "I know girl, but you have me though. Am I not enough?" Leah, lay down, placed her head on Bella's lap and sighed deeply. "Now Leah, I want to introduce you to a very nice man," she said as if she was talking to a person. She looked up and motioned me to go into the cage. As I entered Leah sat on the back of her legs and looked at me. I kneeled next to Bella and she smiled. "Sarge, meet Leah. Leah, this is Sergeant Cullen."

I chuckled. "Hello, Leah," I said. It was awkward talking to a dog. "Can I pet her?"

"Normally it's not allowed but she is depressed and angry. Hue was her instructor and they were bonded," she said and giggled. "Hue and I would constantly argue because I petted her all the time and it pissed him off. He always said that I was trying to turn her into a softie." She placed her hand on the side of Leah's neck and scratched it softly. "Place your hand under mine slowly and then I'll remove mine."

I gulped not because I was afraid of the dog but because I would be touching her hand. The feelings this woman evoked from me, scared me. On the one hand I wanted to distance myself from her but on the other; I wanted to sweep her off of her feet.

Ever so carefully I raised my left hand and placed it under hers. I took a deep breath as I felt warmth under my skin, spreading to the rest of my body. Bella gasped lowly and looked at me. She was getting pale. She felt it as well. Our eyes locked for a few seconds and I'd be damned if I didn't see light in her eyes. I saw an 'us'- a potential us, more like it. An 'us' I knew for sure I couldn't pursue.

She blinked and suddenly turned her gaze elsewhere while she removed her hand slowly. I cleared my throat and saw that Leah was looking at me, standing still. "Hello, Leah," I repeated, placed my right hand on the side of her neck and scratched it. She whined lightly and tilted her head to the right. "You like that don't you?" I whispered.

Jordan stepped into the cage and stood next to Bella. "How the fuck can you do it and she won't let me near her? When we are in training she's perfect but when we're here, she freaks out on me."

"Have you tried to talk to her? Be there for her? Sat under the sun next to her cage? Took her out on walks other than when you have to go to school or do her business?" she asked.

"She's a dog," he mumbled. "What the hell can she understand?"

"Far more than most humans can," I said. "You should know better. You're a K-9 instructor and you became that because I presume you love working with those wonderful creatures. No matter what you see, they aren't equipment. They go above and beyond to demonstrate their intelligence, loyalty and bravery. They refuse to leave the sides of their fallen soldiers and are repeatedly asked to risk their lives to save ours. They are sad when you are sad and happy when you feel happy," I continued. "I don't know if you're good at what you do but maybe you should start putting more soul into it."

Fucker!

"With all do respect, Sir, I've been an instructor for more that twelve years and I've never had a dog act like that," he said angrily.

"Well maybe it's time you start spending more time with her as Swan said. I'm not trying to underestimate the time you've devoted and the work you've done. I'm only trying to tell you that maybe you need to bond with her first before you start ordering her around," I said firmly. I took a glance at Bella and saw her staring at me. I smiled lightly and winked at her.

"When you put it that way," he trailed off.

"I don't put it that way," I said and kissed Leah's head. "Cesar Millan does on Nat Geo Wild. You can learn a lot from him." I stood up and turned around to face him. "Can I show you something?" He nodded; I stepped out of the cage, Bella following right behind me. I whistled and Leah started walking toward me. As she passed Jordan, she growled and barred her teeth at him. Bella and I chuckled. "Leah," I called firmly. She snapped her head toward me and resumed her walk. "Sit," I commanded lightly. When she followed my order, I smiled. "The most important task is not to order her around Jordan," I said smoothly. "That is your work as a team. She was trained to follow any instructor. Make her your friend. Get to know her, spend time with her. Make her feel secure around you- make her trust you."

We spent some time with Leah and Jordan and I found out several interesting things. Leah was six and a half years old and she was to retire by the end of the tour. Bella was set on adopting her because she never had a dog and the kids would love it. That was actually the first time she said that she had any. It would be a perfect Christmas gift for them. She was planning on not telling them about her upcoming R&R. Her plan was to call them a week before leaving and tell them that their leave was revoked because of a school that they had to attend in Baghdad.

"Will you be leaving with us in four months?" she asked. I shook my head.

"Shame. It sucks to be away from home during Christmas."

"It sucks generally," I chuckled.

"True."

"What time do we have to report to Black?"

I looked at my watch. "In about an hour, during dinner; Black is positive that someone from here was involved with Crowley so he wants to have this whole thing undercover."

"Has he told you whom he suspects?"

"Yes, but I can't say."

"I understand," she said lowly.

**~Ж~**

The days went by easily and I had finally caught up with all the pressing matters. The Squad was being trained twice daily and they were doing well. Emmett, Bella and I had formed a couple of plans and presented them to Colonel. All of us decided that we should go to the facility and speak with the prison's Warden . No matter what was going on, the Warden would surely know because nothing happened without him knowing and since there were US prisoners among the rest, there was no way that he didn't know. His full name was Abdul Mohamed, fifty years old, ex-military. He was discharged with honors.

Colonel divided the squad in two groups of six so we could fit in two MRAP vehicles that would drive us to the facility. Swan, Whitlock, Hale, Hunter, Jordan with Lean and I were in one and Newton, Cheney, Stanley, Emmett, Garcia and Colt would be on the second. He suggested that when I went in to talk to the Warden, I needed one Marine with me; the rest could wait outside until we were done. Black also decided to replace Brown with Colt since he was a medic. I remember seeing Colt the day I arrived in Baghdad.

After twenty years in active duty one would think that I would be used to this kind of mission by now. Truth be told, I was but I always had this fear that something would happen and the upcoming mission wasn't any different. My mind told me that everything would be fine but my gut told me otherwise. If nothing was going on, we would be in and out of there in no time. My mind wandered to what could possibly go wrong. What if the Warden was implicated? What would happen if we're ambushed on our way out? No matter how trained we were, we weren't immortal. One minute you're here and the next, you're in a casket.

Today would be the first time I'd Skype with my parents since I got here. I hadn't even had the chance to talk to them over the phone and it'd been almost three weeks. I entered the area where the computers were and chose one far away from the rest. Most of the Marines were done so only a few men were left. I sat down, logged in and made the call. On the second ring the screen opened and Mom appeared.

"Edward!"

"Hey, Mom," I smiled. "How are you?"

"How am I? I don't matter. You tell me how you are."

"You don't matter? You tell that shit to me when I get back and then you'll see if you matter or not," I said and she smiled. "You're my mom and I love you. Of course you matter."

"I love you too baby."

"Where's Dad?"

"He went to get me ice-cream," she sniffled. I squinted at her and she giggled. Ice cream was her comfort food as she called it.

"Why do you need comforting ?" I smirked.

Her lip started to quiver. "I miss you Edward."

"I miss you too, Mom," I smiled. "But I'm fine. Everything looks good here and…" I was cut off with a door shutting loudly.

"I had to go across Chicago to get that shit woman. You better be naked…"

"Jesus Christ," I groaned.

"Carlisle!" Mom said horrified. "Edward is online."

"So?" He asked and kissed the top of her head. "He knows we have sex sweetness."

"Oh for fucks sake!"

"Edward, language!"

"Hey, son," Dad grinned and winked at me.

"Hello, old man," I huffed.

"What's new?" he said as he dragged a chair and sat down next to Mom.

"Everything's cool. They guys here are excellent. No problems so far," I half lied. "Plus I got the surprise of my life in Seattle."

"What happened?" Mom asked as she started eating her ice-cream. She sighed happily.

"Are you gonna taunt me by eating that in front of me?" I feigned annoyance.

"Yes," Ma said. "Now tell us about that surprise."

"Charlie told me who my Staff Sergeant was," I said and lit a cigarette.

"Who is he?" Mom asked.

"His daughter," I smiled and lowered my head lightly.

"Oh, my!"

"Seriously?" Dad asked.

"Yep. I got the female version of Major, not only in looks but in character as well."

"What are the odds?" Mom said and continued eating her ice-cream.

"I know," I replied and smiled lightly.

"So," Dad started. "Is she beautiful?" he asked playfully and wiggled his eyebrows.

"Christ yeah," I said and instantly regretted it. Mom squealed and Dad grinned.

"Edward Anthony, you better start talking," Mom ordered. Dad poured a drink, lit a cigarette and I started spilling my guts. I told them everything: about my meeting with Charlie, minus our talk about Crowley, when Sue came with those angels and last about her.

"Oh Edward, I knew it," she said happily. "It was only a matter of time."

I rolled my eyes. "Mom, there's nothing going on. Just because I'm attracted to her doesn't mean I will go for it."

"Why?" Dad asked perplexed. "If you feel the way you do…"

"That doesn't mean she feels the same, besides I can't," I sighed. "First of all she's Charlie's baby. Major won't appreciate the fact I want his daughter and secondly I just got here. Even if there was a chance, one of us would have to transfer and to be honest I don't want to. I promised Sue to take care of her. How will I do that if one of us is somewhere else?"

"That's bullshit," Mom said and both Dad and I gaped at her. "Don't look at me like that," she chastised. "You don't have to go after her openly Edward. Get to know her, woo her using the Cullen charm and once you get on the plane to come home, tell her. Charlie won't have a problem because he knows you. He knows that you'll never hurt his daughter," she finished.

"I don't know Mom," I said and shook my head. "She makes me feel things that I haven't felt. It's intimidating."

"Oh baby," she smiled. "Love does that."

"I don't love her Mom," I started but she cut me off.

"Do you want to know when I realized I loved your father? I don't recall telling you that story," she said. I nodded.

"When your father met my cousin Lucile," she started and dad groaned.

"Shut up Carlisle," she said and glared at him. "Anyway when your father met that harlot, God rest her soul, for the first time, he was somewhat enamored with her. The days that followed, he asked about her: how she was, if we could have dinner with her sometime. To be honest, I couldn't understand why he was asking about her. At first I thought that maybe he liked her more than me. It made jealous and angry and I didn't know why. We had just started going out so it didn't make any sense, you know? A week after they met, we decided to go to a dance hall."

Dad smiled wistfully. "Good God you were so beautiful that night. You were wearing a lilac knee length dress," he said and kissed her temple.

"Yeah, yeah," she complained. "So were Lucile's breasts. You see honey, that night she decided that your father was her soulmate. She was more beautiful than me and more experienced, if you know what I mean," she continued. "I started doubting myself; I was a just a florist and nothing special. I watched them as they danced when suddenly your father looked at me and smiled. Something snapped then. I got up, gulped half of my lemon drop, marched on the dance floor and snatched him away from her."

"Wild thing this one," Dad said, pointing at Mom. "She practically dragged me out of the hall and walked until she found a dark alley. I was so shocked, I couldn't utter a word. Anyway, once she threw me into said alley, you dear mother pinned me against the wall and kissed the shit out of me. When she pulled back she started wailing why I didn't love her like she did. That was the first time your mother ever told me she loved me and to be honest, up to date I don't think she realized she said that."

"Carlisle, don't be absurd," she frowned. "Of course I did."

"The next day, I asked her to marry me and the rest is history," he said and pecked her lips.

"Love baby, is confusing. You don't know at first but when you do it's beautiful but most of all scary," she smiled. "A simple smile from her is enough to make you smile. I don't say that you love her per se but you're definitely smitten with her."

That, I was. I looked around and realized I was the only one in the room. We were talking for almost half an hour and I knew that my time was done. "Guys I need to run," I said. "Look, I'll be attending a seminar in Baghdad so I won't be able to talk for a few days. I'll give you a call when I return, okay?"

"Take care sweetheart," Mom said. "I love you."

"Love you both," I said and logged out.

**~Ж~**

It was September 13th and Bella's birthday. Earlier in the morning, I had asked her to come by my office and I handed her the DVD Charlie gave me before I left. I wanted to do something special for her. I spent the previous night with Emmett thinking of ideas but we couldn't come up with anything until today. We thought of having the cook make her favorite dinner but we knew that it was a no go. The same morning Emmett received a care package from his family and he burst into my office grinning like a Cheshire cat. Once he closed and locked the door he pulled out a cupcake.

"My Mama sent them," he said proudly. "A whole batch and…" he sang and fished something from his pocket. "Ateara gave me this," he finished and placed a birthday candle on my desk. "He keeps them just in case so there; you have the cake and the candle."

I sighed with relief. "Emmett I swear to God that we'll never part. Wherever I go, I'll make sure you'll follow."

"So when are you gonna hold the party?"

"After dinner. I know for sure that she'll wait until everyone goes to bed. She'll watch the DVD then."

"Will you give her this from me?" he asked and presented me a terribly wrapped in foil, small package. For a ribbon it had a small piece of gauze. "It's Oreos. Mom sent me a few."

I nodded and that moment we were called for dinner. Emmett informed me that everything was set for tomorrow's departure. As we neared the mess hall we met Bella and Hale. One look at her face and I was fucking lost again. She was so relaxed and that sweet smile of hers was breathtaking. That was when my mother's words came to my mind. Could I be falling in love with her? Was it even possible for someone to fall so quickly?

"Sarge?" I heard someone call and I realized that three sets of eyes were looking at me expectantly. "Are you okay?" Emmett asked.

"Yes," I said. "Sorry, I spaced out for a second. What did you say?"

"I asked if you wanted to eat with Hale and me," Bella said.

"Eh, sure. Why not?"

Each of us grabbed a tray and started pilling food. Emmett groaned once he saw the chicken. "I swear I'll start bawking one of these days. Don't they have anything else?" he complained.

Hale snorted lowly. "It's Thursday, McCarty. We have chicken every Thursday."

He flashed a smile and winked at her. "Just checking Rosie," he drawled, making her blush lightly.

Bella started walking toward our table and Rose followed right behind her. "Rosie?" I snorted.

"At least I don't look at her and turn into a pile of fucking hoo or whatever the fuck it's called," he said and smirked.

"W-what?" I asked with wide eyes.

"Ya heard me," he said and started walking away.

Fuck, fuck, _fuck_! Was I that transparent?

_If Emmett caught that then yeah, but was he the only one? _

"Shit," I cursed under my breath. I took a deep breath and made my way to our table.

"Spaced out again, Sarge?" Emmett asked and I gave him a side glare.

"No, Snuffy," I said. "Just thinking what needs to be taken care of before we take off tomorrow."

"Sure, Sarge," he chuckled.

"So, Hale," I said and she froze. "You're the only one at this table that I don't know anything about."

"What do you want to know, Sergeant?" she asked.

"Where are you from?"

"Rochester, NY."

"Really?" Bella asked. "Always wanted to visit New York."

Hale shrugged her shoulder. "It's nothing special. Just a busy big city; traffic jams, people hastily walking by all day long. Crazy rhythms. However there are many beautiful things there."

"Why did you become a Marine?" I asked.

Hale smiled sadly. "Ever since I could remember, my mother threw me into child beauty pageants. Every other weekend we were in a car heading to a different contest or buying new clothes and make-up. Money had not been an issue in my family for a very long time, we had the means and she did it, no matter how much I protested. I never had friends in fear that they might hurt me and take my titles away from me," she said and started pushing her food around her tray. "When I turned thirteen, there was a fundraiser we had to attend in order to raise money for supplies to be shipped to Afghanistan and I saw a Marine wearing his blues. He started talking about his life as a Marine and how much he loved what he was doing. There was a huge screen set behind him and while he talked they showed pictures of Marines smiling, fighting.

"When I saw a woman among them, I wished I could be like her: brave," she continued. "My whole life I was just a puppet. My father spoiled me to death and my mother saw me as a live Barbie doll. I swore to myself that I would be like the woman I saw in that picture. For the next five years I endured my mother's tortures and when I turned eighteen I enlisted. The night before I left for boot camp, I made my announcement. My mother fainted and my father sat back on his chair, smiling like an idiot," she giggled. "'What took you so long' he asked. 'I thought that you would finally speak your mind by the time you turned sixteen and stop all that shit'. My mother still doesn't talk to me. She thinks that I ruined my life but she doesn't understand."

"Wow," Emmett said.

Bella shook her head. "How can she be so blind? My girl begs me to put some lip gloss on her lips and I refuse. She's too young. She'll have the rest of her life for that shit. How could she put you through something like this?"

"Maybe she thought that I liked it, I don't know," she sighed. "Anyway, I'm done with that world so…"

"Well good," Emmett said. "Beauty isn't important. The brains and heart are and if she couldn't see you for what you really are, then with all due respect Rosie, fuck her. I can lend you my Mama every now and then."

"Aw, Snuffy you're so sweet," Bella teased.

"Natural product of fine Tennessee Ma'am," he grinned. "Ya'll find nothing other than sweetness," he winked and Bella laughed loudly. Once again I found myself staring at her.

When we were done with dinner, I lit a cigarette and continued talking. Bella was squirming in her seat, looking at her watch frequently. She was dying to leave and go watch the DVD. I, on the other hand, was dying for all of them to go to bed so I could carry on with my surprise. I knew it wasn't anything special compared to what the contents of the disc would be but I wanted to do it for her.

"Can I bum a cigarette?" Bella asked.

I felt my brows reach the hairline of my head. "You smoke?" I asked.

"Not much. A couple, maybe three a day," said and took the cigarette from the packet.

I didn't even dare to look in her direction. If she made me feel things just by smiling, I wouldn't even dare to think how I would react with her smoking. I knew that shit was bad but it was one of the things I enjoyed doing. By the time we were done, the mess hall was empty. We said our goodnights and each of us headed in a different direction. I entered my office and when I sat on the chair I unlocked my desk drawer and took out the cupcake, the candle and Emmett's present. I waited for half an hour, looking at the things in front of me, without thinking anything.

What was I doing?

"Fuck it," I said to myself.

I got up, straightened my clothes as best as possible, grabbed the things and headed toward the tent. When I reached it I heard children laughing and Charlie's boisterous voice. I smiled. I pushed the fabric of the tent aside just a little bit and watched the TV. Charlie was wearing his blues, Sue a flattering white dress, Lisa a cute flower pattern yellow dress and Chris was in black from head to toe.

"_Make a wish Mommy,_" Chris said happily.

"_Yeah baby and make it a good one. You turn thirty-three only once,_" Charlie said in a teasing tone.

"_Charlie,_" Sue cried. "_Don't tease her about her age._"

"_She knows I'm not. Don't you baby girl?_"

"You old fart," Bella giggled and sniffled. I bit my lip to prevent myself for laughing.

"_Pa, you're distarting Mommy. She needs to make a wish,_" Lisa pouted. My god she's was so cute.

"_It's distracting honey,_" Sue corrected.

"_That's what I said, Nana,_" she smiled at her.

"You sure did," Bella laughed and lit a cigarette.

"_Okay enough with the banter,_" Charlie said. "_The candles are melting,_" he said and everyone looked at the camera. "_Make a wish sweetheart._"

Bella inhaled deeply and spoke ever so softly. "I wish I could be with you." I swallow the lump that started forming in my throat.

Sue leaned forward and blew the candles. "_Happy birthday my love,_" she smiled with tearful eyes.

"_Nana, I want that part,_" Lisa said pointing toward the edible daisies.

"_Once we're done with this video, Lizzie. We can't eat while Mommy can't, okay?_"

Lisa bit her lip, a habit that she got from her Mom and nodded. The man who would fall for the sweet angel was screwed. If she was my baby, I'd make sure no fucker would make a move until she was thirty.

'_Your baby?_' my inner voice spoke. '_Does that mean that you fell for her Mama?_'

Fuck off!

When Sue returned back to screen she was holding presents in her hands.

"_We got you a little something,_" she grinned.

Lisa grabbed a black bag and smiled at the screen. "_I got you this Mommy,_" she said. She opened the bag and took out a forest green silk button down shirt. "_I know that you like black but green is my favorite color now so it's yours too._"

Bella giggled. "Mine too hon."

"_I got you this,_" Chris said, pointing at another black bag. He took out a thin silk scarf; the exact green shade as the shirt. "_The lady said it's for your neck but I'd like it in your hair,_" he said and blushed.

"Oh baby," she sniffled.

"_My turn,_" Charlie smirked. "_I chose footwear,_" he said and Sue snorted.

"_I wanted to get you flats but when your Mama told me what the whole present theme would be, I chose these,_" he continued and showed a white box from a Jimmy something. Bella gasped. "_These are death traps but I know you liked them so…_" he shrugged. "_However, I also got you the flats. You can't chase the munchkins with those,_" he laughed and shook a shoe. I suppressed my chuckle; he was always so thoughtful.

"_My turn,_" Sue said eagerly and grabbed a Calvin Klein bag. She took out a black suit jacket followed by a pencil skirt. "_Knee length,_" she said and winked. "_You can wear it with whatever you want but we got it mostly so you could match it with the green shirt._"

I closed my eyes and the first thing that popped in my head was Bella wearing those clothes and heels. She would be sensational, a wet dream. I felt myself stir inside my pants and I groaned internally.

'_Please buddy not now,'_ I begged.

"_Lastly I got you this,_" she said and Charlie shot from his seat, pale like a sheet.

"_That's my cue to leave. Come on bugs, time for cake,_" he said and grabbed the kids. Sue laughed and revealed a pink bag with strips. Shit I knew those bags from my time with Jane.

Bella whimpered. "Please not thongs."

I nearly chocked at that moment. It's one thing to fantasize about her wearing a pencil skirt and another thing to see what she's wearing under the said skirt. I felt like a peeping tom but I couldn't bring myself to move. I wanted to see what the bag's contents were. Sue made a move to open the bag but last minute she decided not too.

"_Nope. You'll get to see these when you come home,_" she sighed.

Thank God!

"_Anyway, I need to go before they make the kitchen look like a battle field,_" Sue smiled. "_I love you baby. Be safe._"

The screen went black and I heard Bella exhale deeply. I looked down to make sure that a certain someone didn't want to say hello through my pants. The coast was clear… well sort off- I took the candle out, placed it on top of the cupcake, hid it behind my back and entered the tent, clearing my throat loudly not wanting to startle her. Bella turned around and gave me a tearful smile.

"Edward," she said and made a move to get up.

I shook my head no and kneeled in front of her. "Close your eyes," I whispered. I revealed the cupcake and placed it carefully in my palm between us and lit the candle. "Make a wish, Bella." She opened her eyes and gasped when she saw the cupcake.

"For me?" she asked brokenly.

I nodded and with my thumb, I wiped away her tear. I let my finger linger on her cheek. I never felt that raw need to kiss someone as much as I felt in that moment. I sure as hell knew that I shouldn't be feeling the way I did but I didn't do anything to stop it either and to be honest I didn't know if I even wanted to. Bella closed her eyes briefly and surrendered to my touch.

'_Do it,_' the voice in my head taunted me. '_All you have to do is lean forward and turn your head 45 degrees to your left and kiss her._'

My body shuddered lightly as she moved her cheek into my palm. Did she feel the same way? Her actions said that she did but could we risk it now? Here? She opened her eyes to look at me. Her eyes ripped my soul apart. I inched a bit closer to her but once I realized what I was about to do, I lowered my head and sighed.

"The candle is melting," I whispered. "Make your wish Bells." She nodded and closed her eyes. When she opened them again she blew the candle and smiled. "Happy birthday," I said and kissed her cheek tenderly.

"Thank you," she said and took the cupcake. She threw the candle and sat back. She divided it and gave me half. "I can't have it all to myself," she smiled.

We ate in silence and every time I tried to steal a glance at her, I caught her looking at me and she would always blush. "So," I said trying to make the palpable tension between us go away. "Emmett asked me to give you this," I said and handed her the present.

She giggled and ran her fingers over the foil. "You got Emmett into this?"

"I wanted," I started. Fuck. "Um, _we_ wanted to do something but up to this morning we had nothing. Snuffy got a care package from home so…"

She ripped the foil and grinned widely. "Wait here," she said and rushed out. She came back five minutes later holding two glasses and presented me her choice of drink.

We spent the rest of the time chatting over Oreos and milk.

**~Ж~**

The MRAP vehicles were waiting in two different locations around the camp. One was behind a small hill after the LZ, a spot Bella suggested and the second was behind BAS so as soon as we were done with Black we'd separate in teams, walk to the meeting points and head to Abu Ghraib. The whole squad entered Black's office and he looked at us calmly. "I know you're not used to going on missions here but I have faith in you that you will succeed. Make sure you listen to your Sergeant and Swan. Have your eyes and ears open," he said and locked his gaze with Bella. Why was he looking at her like that? I felt myself getting irritated from that look. "Come back with all your limbs attached, okay?" he said, still looking at her. It was as if he was talking only to her and that pissed me off even more. "On your way," he said and we left.

Jordan left to get Leah while the rest of us walked toward the LZ. Once he arrived he went in and I followed. I sat on the window side and Bella sat next to me. Once everyone had boarded the vehicle we drove away. The other was set to leave ten minutes later and meet us on the road. By the time we were a mile out of camp, I told the driver to slow down so the other car could catch up.

No one spoke for several minutes until Hale broke the silence. "How long do you think it's gonna take, Sir?"

"It depends on what the Warden has to say. After that we'll go by ear," I said glancing out the window.

"Do you think he's gonna co-operate?" Whitlock asked.

I turned and smirked at him. "I'll make sure he does. We both speak the same language, Whitlock, and that's the military one."

"Cocky much?" Bella teased.

"Charlie taught me good."

Bella stretched her hand and started petting Leah. The dog stood and jumped on her lap. Bella yelped when Leah licked her face. Jordan groaned.

"How the fuck is she gonna obey me when you pet her all the time, Swan?" he asked angrily. Leah turned in his direction, barred her teeth at him and growled. All of us started laughing loudly.

"It's not my fault she digs my awesomeness, asshole," she chuckled.

"Don't you baby?" she cooed. Leah barked once and Bella giggled. "I love you too. Now go to Jordan and be nice to him. Show him the lady you are." When she sat next to Jordan, she barred her teeth again without growling this time. I laughed and shook my head.

The next forty five minutes were spent talking about different things. I found out that Bella was an obsessed Mariners fan and the rest excluding me, didn't share her sentiments. When she presumed that I was a Cubs fan, I didn't correct her. If only she knew... We were more alike than she thought. We liked almost the same foods, the same music, movies and books. We had the same thirst to learn new things and we were dedicated to our jobs.

The car came to a stop and we waited for a few seconds before hopping out. I saw Whitlock and Hunter cross their selves and stepped out last. Everyone gathered around me and stopped talking.

"McCarty, you're coming with me. Swan, Whitlock, stand by the door. Newton, Hale and Hunter cover the left side of the building. Cheney, Garcia and Stanley take the right. Colt and Jordan walk around the building's perimeter. Swan, you're in charge while I'm in there. If we don't come out in an hour take off, okay?"

"What?" she asked incredulously. "Sir, no."

"That's an order. If we don't come out, you radio the camp and take off," I said sternly. She was breathing deeply and held my stare. She was pissed.

"Yes, Sir."

"Go," I said and I headed toward the door.

The guard that let us in told us to leave our guns behind but we had none of that. I snorted and shook my head. "Not happening. Now take us to the Warden."

"Dis our land," he hissed.

"Yes, it is your land but I'm not your prisoner. We're United States Marine Corps and we take orders from our superiors, not you," I snapped. "For the last time take us to the Warden."

"Asshole" Emmett muttered lowly.

"Mogafal," the guard replied.

"Right back at your face," Emmett chuckled.

"He called you an idiot," I smiled "and you're chuckling?"

"The fucker should know better than saying shit in hope to start a brawl," he said and glared at him.

The guard stopped in front of a door. "You in. Me stay ir."

The door opened suddenly and a very irritated man appeared. "Emshy," he commanded. The guard opened his mouth to protest but the man had none of that. "Emshy, ergaa ila mansebak," he barked. He turned around and left without a word. The Warden motioned us to come inside.

"Marhaba ya sayedy," I said and extended my hand.

"Hello," he said in English. "English is okay. My name is Abdul Mohamed."

"Nice to meet you," I smiled politely. "I'm Sergeant First Class Edward Cullen and this is Lance Corporal Emmett McCarty."

He nodded and sat down. "What can I do for you?" he asked.

"Mr. Mohamed," I started. "I'm not sure if you are aware of the unfortunate incident that happened a few weeks ago."

"I know about de accident," he said and leaned back in his chair.

"Then you know the reason we're here," I replied.

"Your government solved de issue."

"Sir, we both know that it was fast cover for what lays beneath. The last thing the US government needs is to have a repeat of what happened years ago right on this facility," I said seriously. He needed to understand that I wouldn't leave from here unless I had some answers.

"I can't help you."

He started pissing me off. "Okay, have it your way then. I need the roster of the US prisoners."

"I don't have it," he said.

"Excuse me?"

"I said I don't have it. De man before you took it de last time he was here."

"What for?" I pressed.

He shrugged his shoulders indifferently. "Why should I know?"

In the blink of an eye I stood before him and the only obstacle between us was his desk. "You listen to me and you listen good; I want to know why Crowley needed that list and you're going to tell me."

"I'm not your soldier," he growled.

"We're Marines," Emmett snapped angrily.

"McCarty, shut up," I said glaring at him. I turned toward the warden. "You should know better than to lie Mr. Mohamed. You're a military man; a man of honor, so please help us."

He sighed heavily. "I can't help you."

I chuckled and shook my head. "Shame you don't do justice to your credentials."

"You show respect," he hissed. "I fought in wars and buried my men. Your country killed my men."

"It was your country the US government tried to stop because of the sick people that ruled you. I fought in that war, Sir and I lost men too." I gripped the desk tighter. "I had to write letters to their mothers and wives. I had to attend their burials and I cried for them… bled for them. I still have nightmares from those nights and yet I'm still here, fighting to keep the balance and make those at fault pay through justice."

"We share same feelings then," he said.

"No we don't," I said angrily. "If we did you'd help us."

He sank back in his chair and rubbed his temples. "De previous Sergeant wanted de list because he said dat your Commanding Officer wanted it. I gave it to him and said dat I needed to speak wid him. So far he didn't call."

"Shit," Emmett muttered.

"I know noting more," the Warden said.

"Thank you," I said. "I apologize for my behavior." As we were about to leave he called my name and I turned around.

"Enta tatdahal fe ashayaa la toryd an takon goza' feha. Edhab lel makan alady get meno wa la tanzor ila waraa'," he said and I inhaled deeply. He knew more.

"Mada taaraf?" I asked.

"Um, English please?" Emmett said.

"Noting dan I already told you. Kon hazer. Hhada elnas hom hatar."

"I will find out and let me tell you one last thing. That list never made it to our Colonel's office. That, I'm sure of. Thank you for your help," I said and left.

As we walked out Emmett stopped me. "What did he tell you?"

"Not here Emmett," I said as we saw a guard looking at us.

By the time the opened door and stepped out Bella was nowhere to be seen. I looked around and I found everyone at their places but not her. My heart started beating frantically.

"Where is Swan?" I asked quickly.

"Yeah," Hunter said. "We have a surprise for you in the MRAP."

I ran there and opened the door quickly. I exhaled deeply when I saw her and she seemed relieved when she saw me too. Only when she averted her gaze, did I see the battered woman opposite from her.

"Who is she?" I asked.

The woman looked at me. "Me Shada. I help you."

I narrowed my eyes briefly. "Help us with what?" I asked and stepped into the car, closing the door behind me.

"I know what you sarch," she answered and handed me a map and some papers in Arabic. I couldn't read it but I was perfectly sure that the Intel department would have a translator. "Haf mil down, dere is a warihose. All dere," she said.

"What is there?" Bella asked.

"Al-Qaeda pupil. Pay, get men and bam." Bella gasped.

I stopped breathing. "What?"

She scratched her head for a second. "Warihose, ader," she said and pointed the floor of the car. "has man. Al-Qaeda, pay money, you," she said and pointed at our uniforms, "get man from dere," she continued and pointed toward the building, "take back to warihose and bam."

"Let me get this straight," I started. "There is a warehouse that underneath has Al-Qaeda members, okay?" she nodded. "Those men paid money to military men so they could get prisoners and hand them to them in order to kill them?" She nodded again.

"Fuck," I cursed. "What did that man look like?" she nodded.

"Tol," she said. "Black," she said and pointed her eyes, hair and skin.

"She saw Crowley," Bella whispered.

"I know," I said and turned back to the woman. "Why are you helping us?"

Her eyes watered. "Broder in dere," said and looked at the facility. "Broder US prison." Her brother was a US prisoner and probably he was on the list Crowley obtained. "Please no kill broder."

"You brother will be safe," Bella vowed. "I promise you," she smiled. "What's his name?"

"Aban Rahman," she smiled back. "Aban soldier."

I studied the map for a few minutes; the warehouse wasn't far. We had to go there and see what was going on.

"I take you dere," Shada said. "I know hide spot."

"Is it safe?" Bella asked.

"I make you safe, you make broder safe," she said and smiled as she wiped her eyes. "Come."

When we got out, we saw the rest of the squad scattered around the cars. They approached us and Stanley bristled. "Leah found her hiding."

"I no hide. I wait for you," Shada glared.

"Enough," I said. "Shada here told us that there is a warehouse half mile to west. Apparently that warehouse belongs to Al- Qaeda members. We're going there and see what we'll come up with, okay?"

"How do we know it's not a trap?" Cheney asked.

"No trap," Shada said. "I help you, you help broder."

"Her brother is a US prisoner," Bella said. "Apparently in that warehouse our prisoners are being killed by those fuckers; prisoners that know enough to be killed."

"Okay," he said and eyed Shada.

"Lets get moving. We're going on foot," I said and left.

We reached the warehouse in twenty minutes time. Shada told us on the way that she managed to steal the documents by sleeping with one them. Once she was done, she hid until she found a Marine that wasn't seen with Crowley. She led us to a building next to the warehouse.

"Here you see dor," she pointed. "Now, in dree man wid gun. Oder man out."

"Okay," I said.

"I show you oder dor, back dor. Dat dor, no use."

I nodded and turned to the squad. "When we get to the back door, you spread. Take the first cover and stay hidden. We don't know if there are any of them out guarding. Jordan, you and Leah stay with the medic. Colt be prepared just in case. Hunter, McCarty you're with me," I instructed. "Swan, Whitlock, Cheney, and Hale, you go right. Stanley, Newton and Garcia, you go left. If you hear a shot, shoot back."

"Yes, Sir," they said and we quickly started running to our position. By the time we reached the back of the building, we heard the first shot.

"Take cover," I yelled and I dragged Shada along with me. "Are you okay?" I asked.

She was breathing heavily and clenched her chest. I removed her hand and saw that she was shot. "Colt," I barked. He crawled toward us and lifted her shirt. I turned and looked around. The distance between us was not big so we could hear each other. When the shooting stopped for a few moments, I lifted my head a bit above the barrels we were hiding behind. Another set of shots started.

When I started reloading Colt spoke. "She's gone."

A bullet hit the barrel that covered me and ricocheted to a different direction.

"Fuck!" I heard Hale yell.

"Medic," Bella called.

Fuck no!

"Hale," Emmett called and went to stand up.

"Stay the fuck down," I hissed.

The minutes of silence that went by were excruciating. If someone dropped a needle, it would be heard. I lifted my gun up and looked through the scope. I could see a jeep approaching fast; they were about six, eight tops in it.

"Get ready," I called. Everyone loaded their guns and while we waited I looked to where Bella was. I couldn't see much but I knew that she was okay. Suddenly several yards before the jeep stopped, Bella bolted from her spot and headed toward the entrance of the warehouse while Stanley started shooting toward it.

"Cease fire," I yelled but she didn't stop. "Cease goddamned fire!"

Everything around me started moving in slow motion: Bella was running and I looked at the jeep. One of them saw her and lifted his gun and followed her movement. I could hear nothing else but the beat of my frantic heart. I wasn't fast enough...

"Swan watch out!" I called and a single shot echoed in the air.

* * *

_Arabic Translations:_

_**Emshy, ergaa ila mansebak****: ** Leave, go back to your post!_

_**Mogafal****:** Idiot_

_**Marhaba ya sayedy:** Hello Sir_

_**Enta tatdahal fe ashayaa la toryd an takon goza' feha. Edhab lel makan alady get meno wa la tanzor ila waraa' :** You're stepping into things that you don't want to be part of. Go to where you came from and don't look back._

_**M****ada taaraf****: **What do you know_

_**Kon hazer. Hada elnas hom hatar:** Be careful. They are dangerous people._

_A huge thanks to my friend Rasha for helping me with those._

* * *

**A/N:**

***runs and hides behind Edward and waved above his head.***

**Hi…. *grins* the cliffie whore is back, lol. How did you like that? *wiggles eyesbrows***

**As you must have realized by now, in the next chapter, we have a prologue *winks*- enough said.**

**I need to clarify something. The DVD Bella saw was a complete different from the one that was in the package. When Edward met with Charlie he gave it to him and told him to hand it over to Bella on Sept 13.**

**Cejsmom, Monique: YOU ROCK!**

**You'll find me on Facebook as Penelope Griva and on Twitter as MrsECullenPen.**

**By clicking the magical button that says '_Review this chapter_' will bring you closer to your update and of course you'll get your teaser…**

**Until next time…**

**Pen…**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.**

* * *

_**Previously…**_

"Get ready," I called. Everyone loaded their guns and while we waited I looked to where Bella was. I couldn't see much but I knew that she was okay. Suddenly several yards before the jeep stopped, Bella bolted from her spot and headed toward the entrance of the warehouse while Stanley started shooting toward it.

"Cease fire," I yelled but she didn't stop. "Cease goddamned fire!"

Everything around me started moving in slow motion: Bella was running and I looked at the jeep. One them saw her and lifted his gun and followed her movement. I could hear nothing else but the beat of my frantic heart. I wasn't fast enough...

"Swan watch out!" I called and a single shot echoed in the air.

* * *

**A/N#1**

**This chapter contains a minor's death. Even though the scene may not be that graphic and detailed, it still is a tender issue. Consider yourselves warned.**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

* * *

**BPov**

* * *

That idiot! How could he ask me to leave him behind? How would I do that? Didn't he know that I would never do something like that? I was so angry that I literally felt the need to punch him. Asshole! I was Charlie Swan's daughter. I never ran away from difficult situations and as sure as fuck I would make Sergeant First Class Edward fucking Cullen realize that. I may have a pussy but under no circumstance am I one! In my head to vent my frustration, I started punching a punching bag that had a picture of his face glued to it.

Every few minutes I would look at my watch and every time I did only a couple of minutes had passed. Fuck! Whitlock caught my agitation.

"Swan, calm down," he said casually, looking around. "First Sergeant and McCarty will be fine."

"Just so you know," I said. "We're not leaving them behind."

"I figured out that one pretty quick," he chuckled and stubbed his cigarette.

Jordan and Colt returned and approached me. "Everything's clear," Jordan said.

"Okay, repeat the round and make sure to see check if there are any entrances. Unleash Leah," I ordered.

"Okay," both said and left.

Once anger started to disappear, agony took its place. That man- who came out of the blue- managed to crawl under my skin and into my mind without me realizing it. Ever since we started spending time together, whether it was in the form of work or just to talk, I found myself thinking about him more and more. Edward was a person that would listen to you and help you get through whatever the hell was bothering you. He was understanding, funny, smart, and tough when he needed to be. He was a good man. I looked forward to our night walks after dinner.

"_We should do this every night," he suggested. "If you don't mind that is."_

"_I'd like that," I said lowly. I was afraid that if I looked at him while responding, he'd see my furiously blushing face._

"_Aren't you afraid of being seen with me?" he asked._

"_We're not doing anything forbidden so why would I feel like that?" _

"_Just asking," he shrugged his shoulders. "Let's do this twenty questions thing," he said after a brief moment of silence._

_I giggled. "What are we? Twelve?"_

_He chuckled. "Do you know a better way of getting to know each other without talking endlessly?" he teased. "Not that I mind hearing you talk."_

_I gave him a side glance and sighed. "True."_

"_Favorite movie."_

"_Band of Brothers," I said and laughed lowly. _

"_What?" he asked._

"_My mama tells me that the apple doesn't fall from the tree and that truly I'm my father's daughter. I love my job. My whole world is revolved around it, apart from my kids of course," I said truthfully._

"_It must be hard for you."_

"_More than you know," I sighed. "However I'm gonna give you a chick flick as well- to save face and all from being a crazed military person like Charlie."_

_He smiled. "And which will that movie be?"_

"_Promise not to laugh?"_

"_Cross my heart."_

"_Love Story."_

I smiled lightly as I recalled our first walk. I even dreamt of him- nothing special; just us walking down the shore in La Push. That dream was enough to have me thinking about things that I shouldn't. That dream made me compare him with Marcus and how different they were. That dream, made me feel the need to tell him more about my babies and why the sperm donor wasn't in their lives. So I did. I talked about them but not about Marcus. I didn't want him to think less of me because of my ignorance. I didn't want him to judge me.

Leah's loud bark brought me out of my thoughts. "Stay in position," I called and run to the back of the building. Once I reached them, I saw that Leah was crouching on the ground, while Jordan put her leash back on. Colt removed some barrels from the way and I saw a young woman hugging her knees, shaking like a leaf.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Leah sniffed her. We just found her," Jordan replied.

I kneeled in front of her and the first thing I noticed were her chapped lips. I wondered how long she was here. She was dehydrated and dirty. I took out my water canteen and handed it to her. "Drink," I said. She started gulping huge amounts of water. "Easy there," I said and placed a hand on hers. "You'll get sick." She nodded.

"Tank you," she said.

"What's your name?"

"Shada," she said. "You good soldier here?" she asked and placed her hand to where her heart rested.

"I want to believe I am," and giggled. Jordan and Colt snickered.

"One of the best actually," Colt said.

"Good. I help you kill bad man," she said with conviction. She reached inside her tattered T-shirt and took about some papers. "Bad man dere," she pointed the map.

"Come on," I told her. "Let's get you out of the sun." We walked back to the vehicles and I ignored the confused looks I got from the rest.

"Who's the bitch?" Stanley asked.

"I no dog," Shada gasped.

"Keep your mouth shut, Stanley. Now is not the time," I glared and she snorted. I turned to Hunter. "I'll take her into the car and stay with her. If the hour is over and they still haven't come out, come and get me."

I wrapped one arm around Shada's shoulders and guided her to the MRAP. Once we were seated inside, I handed her back the canteen and a couple of granola bars I had with me. She devoured them in no time. She must have been so hungry and thirsty. She hummed in appreciation once she was done and patted her tummy.

"I very hungry. Tank you," she smiled.

"We'll get some more food in your stomach when we get to our camp."

Her eyes started brimming with tears. "I prisoner?"

"No," I shook my head. She hadn't done anything but I was perfectly sure that Black would want to talk to her. "How old are you?"

She scratched her head. "You ask my year?"

"Yes."

"Two dree," she started. "I go skool and lern law. I help broder." I knew it was hard for her to speak English but my Arabic was even worse. "You name?"

"Bella," I said. "My name is Bella."

She stretched her hand and I took it in mine. "Good meet you."

I smiled at her. "Nice meeting you too, Shada."

"You high soldier?" she pointed to mark patch rank.

"No." I felt myself frowning and looked at my watch. _Twenty-seven down, thirty-three to go. _"Our Sergeant is visiting the Warden. We are waiting for him to come out."

"Who?"

"Warden," I repeated. I pointed my patch and then the building. "High rank in there."

"Oh," she paused. "He good soldier?" she asked and I nodded.

"Good."

We said nothing for a while. She watched the building like a hawk and I took advantage of the situation and observed the papers. I knew shit in Arabic and I could only hope he knew a bit. For sure I knew that Black wouldn't have issues in reading it but also there was an interpreter at camp. There was a shit load of papers and the map was very detailed. As I was about to ask her how she'd obtained these papers, I found her with her eyes closed as her hands were raised palms up, mouthing words. She was praying. I was never a very religious person, like going to mass and receiving communion, but I believed that there was a higher power; someone that was watching over us. I believed in God.

I looked at my watch again. _Thirty-two down, twenty-eight to go. _Fuck they were cutting it close and I felt uneasy. I didn't like it. When I was about to deploy for the first time, Charlie gave me only one piece of advice: follow my gut. My gut was telling me that something was happening or was about to happen. I just wanted them… _him_ back here already.

What was going on with me?

'_You're falling,_' my inner voice said. '_And hard if I may add._'

"_Bella?" Edward asked._

"_If you could change something in your life- anything at all- what would that be?"_

"_Nothing," I said at once. "I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. If my birth mother never left us, I wouldn't have met my mom. If 9/11 never happened, I wouldn't have joined the Marines. If I haven't joined the Marines, I wouldn't have had my babies. You?" _

_He started at me intently for a few moments. Edward opened and closed his mouth a couple of times. "Nothing," he whispered and sighed. "Nothing at all."_

"_Can I ask you a personal question?" I asked somewhat timidly._

"_You can ask me anything Bella."_

"_Why have you never been married?"_

_He took a deep breath. He rubbed the corner of his mouth like he had done the first time I saw him, took out his cigarettes and offered me one before lighting his. "For several reasons," he started. "There aren't a lot of women that would enjoy the kind of lifestyle we have. We relocate every few years and we deploy without a lot of warning." I was about to protest but he caught it and held his hand up stopping me. "I know when there is love between a couple then each of them makes sacrifices but sometimes love isn't enough and you know it. You've lived through it. Do I want a family to go home too? Hell yeah. Who doesn't want that? I want a wife and kids to fool around with when I get home from work. Bottom line is that I haven't found the right girl yet and maybe I never will. Who knows?"_

_I said nothing._

I was getting impatient. I looked at my watch again. _Forty-five down, fifteen to go. _Fuck! My leg started bouncing up and down nervously. I started thinking of plans to enter the facility and get them out. What if they had already been attacked? What if they were tied down and being beaten to a pulp while we were out here getting some sun? What if they were already torturing them? What if they were d…

I was startled when the door of the car opened suddenly. I exhaled a gust of air lowly and felt as if the whole world was ripped off my shoulders. He was here and he was okay. His eyes held mine for a few seconds and then turned to Shada.

"Who is she?" he asked.

For the next half hour we sat in the car as Edward questioned her about the things she knew. Never once was he hard on her; he looked at her with kindness and dare I say respect? In the eyes of the Iraqi people she was a traitor because she was handing information to the enemy- no matter what the reason for doing so. The war might have been over but there was still animosity. To say I was shocked beyond belief when she said that Crowley was taking money from Al-Qaeda in order to hand them US prisoners would be an understatement. What reason would he give to the military when he'd be questioned as to why those prisoners were no longer in custody? They got ambushed? That the prisoners were talking with outsiders and once they were transported God knows where, he'd say that they tried to escape and had to be taken down? What? Was anyone else implicated?

Edward decided that we'd trust Shada and check out the warehouse. It took us only twenty minutes. By the time we stepped out of that damn building all hell broke loose. We scattered around the place as Edward ordered us to take cover. Guns being shot and refilled were the only sounds one could hear. When the shooting stopped for a bit I looked through the small gap that was between the barrels that were hiding us, over at Edward's side. He had just raised his head a bit when a single shot echoed. The bullet ricocheted and suddenly I heard Hale yell.

"Fuck!" I grabbed her hand and saw that the bullet had cut deeply her deltoid muscle. She would definitely need stitches.

"Medic," I called and started applying pressure to the wound.

"Hale," Snuffy called.

Colt rushed over and took a look at Hale's arm. He started patching her wound up tightly to stop the bleeding and she didn't even flinch. She was a tough one. Throughout my eleven years I had seen a lot of men cry like bitches for less minor injuries.

"Get on with it, Colt," she hissed.

"Stop moving around for a second and I will," he said matter of factly.

"We're under a fucking attack if you haven't noticed you dip-shit!"

The sound of an engine made me look toward the open road. There was a jeep approaching. "Load your guns," I said quickly.

"Fuck! I'm out of ammo," Whitlock said urgently. Cheney took a magazine out and handed it to him.

My head snapped toward the warehouse when I heard a small cry. I knew that type of cry. It was the cry of a child. Without hesitating I bolted from my spot and started running toward it. Shots were being fired again but it was only from a single gun.

"Cease fire," Edward yelled. "Cease goddamned fire." They cry was getting louder and more painful when I heard him again. "Swan, watch out!"

A single shot was heard and I fell to the ground right before the bullet hit something metal. I crawled to the right side and found a small body lying still. No, no, no! I got up quickly and took off my jacket and with tender moves I wrapped it around the small boy's form. I kneeled, took him in my arms and slowly sat down. He'd been shot on the right side of his upper chest. The boy started shaking and coughed up blood. His lung was bleeding. I wiped the blood from his lip with my bare hands-hygiene be damned- as he started opening his eyes. They were jet black.

"M-mu-mummi?" he cried. "Mummi?"

"Sh," I shushed gently and rocked him. I couldn't do a damn thing to help him medically so I did the only thing a mother could do. I started rocking him like I did with my babies.

"_Sing to me, Mommy," Chris asked as his eyes started getting heavy._

"_Yes, Mommy. Sing our song," Lizzie said equally._

_**You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.  
You make me happy when skies are grey.  
You'll never know dear, how much I love you.  
Please don't take my sunshine away.**_

"_Mommy, Mommy!" Lizzie called. "Look," she cried happily and handed me a drawing. It was one that had small mountains with flowers and a huge smiling sun with two big brown dots for eyes surrounded by tiny grey clouds. _

"_That's beautiful, baby girl," I smiled and kissed her cheek soundly._

"_This is you," she said pointing to the sun. "This is our song."_

I continued singing and I heard my voice tremble. I was losing it and fast. I looked down and realised that the boy wasn't breathing anymore. Blood was oozing slowly from his tiny mouth, soaking my t-shirt. My body shook lightly as I lifted my arms and kissed his forehead. He was just a baby and he didn't deserve this. I started thinking of all the things he would never get to do: go to school, write the word 'Mom' or 'love' for the first time. Graduate and maybe study to become something; get married and have kids of his own. This little boy was condemned before his life fully started. Why?

Was he alone? Where was his mother? Did he have a father, siblings? Why was he here? Was any one looking for him?

I thought back to the time when a few days before I was deployed here, Dad called and told me Chris was missing. That moment felt as if someone had ripped my heart out and tossed it away. I remember informing my Captain and leaving the base. At some point while driving, I thought that the gas pedal would disappear under my foot.

_The car came to a screeching halt and I shot from my seat. Dad opened the door and I fell into his arms and started crying my heart out. He started telling me he was playing hide and seek with the kids. He found Lizzie easily and started looking for Chris but he couldn't find him anywhere. Lizzie, clueless to the whole situation, pointed happily that Chris had gone toward the fucking woods. There was only one rule in the house: never go to the woods alone. After I had somewhat calmed down, I marched toward the woods, with Charlie, Mom and Lizzie following right behind me._

"_Christopher Logan Swan," I hollered. "If you don't come out this instant I swear your ass will be all kinds of blue by the time I'm done with you!"_

"_Now, now Bells, there's no need to take such drastic measures," Dad said and I glared at him. _

_Approximately a minute later, Chris came through the woods… skipping. When he saw me he smiled and ran to me._

"_Mommy," he called._

_All kinds of emotions instantly hit me: love, relief, anger. Once he was in my arms, I hugged the shit out of him, then picked him up, threw him over my shoulder and went into the house. I could feel the vein on my forehead throbbing. I gently tossed him on the couch and he re-adjusted himself sitting Indian style. I started pacing back and forth._

"_Mommy?"_

"_What?" I nearly yelled._

"_Are you mad?"_

"_You bet I am," I said angrily._

"_Why?" he said looking at me with his big brown eyes. _

"_What the f…" Charlie cleared his throat loudly, stopping my swearing immediately. "What have I told you about the woods Christopher?"_

"_Um, not go unless Pa or Nana is with us?"_

"_Then why did you go?"_

"_I didn't. Pa was there. We were playing hide and seek," he said.  
_

"_Chris, why didn't you come out when I called you?" Dad asked firmly._

_Chris looked at him as if he was asked the most stupid question. "Pa, I hide, you seek. You must look for me."_

_Dad snorted and Mama giggled. I tried to glare at them until Ma spoke. _

"_At least he didn't think Germany was right next to Forks," she shook her head. Involuntarily I snorted and started laughing. Once our laughter died down I knelt in front of him and took his small hands in mine._

"_Don't you do that to me ever again. You scared me, Chris," I said and I felt my voice break._

"_But Mommy, we were playing," he said innocently._

"_I know you were baby but you should have come out when Pa called you. I thought you got lost in the woods."_

"_Oh," he said and pouted. "Sorry, Mommy."_

"_It's okay baby; just don't do that again, okay?"_

_He nodded and hugged me. "I love you, Mommy."_

"Swan?" I heard someone call but I couldn't look at them. I could only look at the boy.

Did he even have the chance to tell his mother that he loved her?

"Swan," I heard someone again as they shook my shoulder lightly.

Did he cuddle with her before he slept at night?

Had she sang him a lullaby when he couldn't sleep?

"Swan," the voice called louder and I hesitantly looked up and found Hunter, Whitlock, Newton and McCarty looking at me.

"Are you okay?" James asked. I couldn't utter a word. I looked down at the boy again.

Poor baby.

"I think she's in shock," Snuffy said.

"Leave me alone," I said.

"Sw…" Whitlock started but I cut him off.

"Leave me alone," I snapped.

I could feel myself on the verge of breaking down. I couldn't, not now. I tried so hard to stay strong; strong for my kids, Charlie… for me. My unit depended on me so I knew that I couldn't let them down. As I held that little boy's lifeless body in my arms, I couldn't help but think about _my_ boy and all the milestones I'd missed: his first steps, his first words, and his first birthday.

I couldn't breathe…

_I miss you Mommy._

_I love you Mommy._

_Be safe Mommy._

My eyes flooded with tears but I couldn't allow myself to cry. Not when I was surrounded by my men… not even when I saw _his_ eyes. He only had to look into mine to understand how desperate I felt.

"Swan, give me the kid," Whitlock said.

I held his tiny body against my chest and shook my head. "No."

"I need to take him to the medic," he pressured.

"He's gone," I hissed. "So get the _fuck_ away from me, Whitlock."

"Newton, McCarty, Hunter," First Sergeant called with authority. "Return to your positions."

"Yes, Sir," they said and each of them ran out of the warehouse in different directions.

"Whitlock, get the kid to the medic, he knows what to do."

"No," my voice cracked.

"That's an order, Swan," he said firmly.

Jasper kneeled and took the little boy that was tucked into my jacket from my arms. "First Sergeant," he said to him, nodded and left.

My eyes were glued on Jasper as he left the warehouse. Once the building was empty he kneeled in front of me, took off his helmet and placed his gun next to him. My body started shaking; both from shock and his close proximity. With a gentle touch he took off my helmet and placed it right next to his. I rested my forehead on my knees and tried to control myself but it was fruitless.

I wanted that boy to live.

I wanted to go home.

I wanted my babies.

I wanted my Dad.

I wanted _him_ to want me…

"Bella," he whispered and wrapped his arms around me.

That was all it took. I broke down and started crying with every fiber I had in me; heartwrenching cries for everything I'd missed and experienced. Why? My God, why? Why did I come here? Why did we have to risk our lives for a war that others started? Why did innocent people have to die? Why? Why?

"I'm here," he said as he rocked us both. "Hush, Bells."

"Ah, Edward," I sobbed.

"I know, honey," he said and kissed the top of my head. "I know."

I'd no idea how long we sat on that cold cement floor. Not once did he let go of me or try to say anything else. I could only hear him hum a tune I'd never heard before. It was soft, cleansing, and so pure. I closed my eyes and saw the faces of my kids- their smiles, their toothless grins as they sang 'Happy Birthday' to me, the sadness in their eyes every time they told me they missed me.

I was deployed to Iraq for twelve months and I've already been here for six. I had to go through another two without their tiny arms around me; without their kisses or cheerful Saturday wake up calls. I had to stay strong for them. All I did was for them… and now _him_. He was the one that kept me sane while we talked at night. He was the one that encouraged me not to give up because I was so fucking tired of chasing death away from us.

This was the first time I wished and hoped for things between us to change. I wanted us to be together but I knew that it wasn't possible. He was my Sergeant and I was under his command. He always had my back and I his. I had the back of my entire unit. He always asked for my whereabouts whenever we returned from a small mission or patrol and I hadn't checked in with him. He always rocked me to heaven by just a simple touch.

He shifted slightly and I started panicking. "Don't leave me," I said, no more than a whisper. Gone was the strong and independent woman.

He sighed and lifted my chin with his fingers to look at me. He ran his thumbs gently over my cheekbones and wiped my tears. "Never sweetheart," he vowed forcefully, his voice breaking slightly. "Never." I nodded pathetically and rested my head on his shoulder again. I took a shaky breath and his masculine scent filled my lungs.

"Are you hurt?" he asked and I shook my head.

"No."

"Every time I deploy, there is one thing I can't stand: when I hear stories about parents saying goodbye to their kids. I know how to feel as a son who leaves his parents behind but not as a father who has to leave his children," he sighed and rested his chin on top of my head. "It's tough to say goodbye because you have no idea whether you're coming back or not, you know?"

"I know," I whispered.

"In my twenty year career, I always chose to avoid being around Marines with children during deployment. I can't stand watching their faces sad. Children should always laugh and never feel sadness. It mars their childhood memories and it's just wrong. On my way here, a boy approached me with a request," he whispered. My body went rigid within a second. "He asked me if I was going to see his mommy. When I said yes he lowered his head and told me to give her a kiss and tell her that he loves her very much. He said that he forgot to tell her because she was angry at him for being naughty," he chuckled lightly.

"He wants to be a General," he continued. "His sister on the other hand was to be a princess. She loves daisies and so does her mama." With that said he lifted my chin with his finger and kissed my cheek lightly. "Now my promise is fulfilled."

I smiled and started crying again. "Thank you. My God thank you so much," I cried and clenched his shirt in my fingers. "You have no idea what it means to me. No idea."

Emmett entered the warehouse and even though he saw the position we were in his face didn't show any surprise.

"Is she okay?" he asked.

"She will be," Edward murmured.

"The cars are here," Emmett said and Edward nodded. He bent down and picked up our guns and helmets.

Edward removed me from his lap carefully and I looked at him. He got up, leaned forward and picked me up. All I could do was wrap my hands around his neck. When we walked out of the warehouse all eyes fell on us. I didn't have to see them in order to feel them. As Edward continued walking I counted at least seven bodies lying on the ground. Among them I saw Shada and I felt myself whimper. Garcia was dragging one of them with his hand tied behind his back as he approached us. The man lifted his leg and kicked Jordan hard who was right next to him.

"Motherfucker," Jordan yelled and clenched his leg. Leah growled and in an instant she locked her jaws around the prisoner's calf, making him scream in pain and some from the squad to laugh.

"You show him who's the boss girl," Cheney laughed.

"Loose," Jordan ordered and she let his now bloody calf out of her mouth. She barred her teeth at that fucker then turned to look at Jordan, swiftly rubbed her head on his leg. Jordan kneeled in front of her and stared into her eyes without saying a word. She whined and without Jordan expecting it, she licked his face, leaving a pink trail of saliva on his cheek. He cringed and looked at Colt. "She left blood on my cheek, didn't she?" I felt Edward's chest shake with laughter as Colt nodded. "If you wanted to clean your tongue you could have licked your privates, ya know," he hissed and scrubbed his face with the back of his hand.

Edward set me down and turned to Rosalie. "How's your arm?"

"Fine," she grumbled and Emmett was at her side in the blink of an eye.

"Here," he said and handed her his canteen. "Drink some water."

The authorities arrived, along with a couple of guards that accompanied the Warden. Apparently, word travelled rather quickly around here. Edward walked toward them but not before looking at me. I nodded and Rose took his place next to me.

"How are you holding up?" she asked gently.

I shook my head and buried my face in my palms. I wasn't good at all. The boy's pale face came into my mind again and my shoulders started shaking. I started hyperventilating. "Colt," Rose called and he ran toward us. In my daze, I could hear yelling but I was able to understand very little of what was said.

"We don't have time to spend."

"I don't give a fuck," Edward yelled. "My men and women come first. Our Commanding Officer will contact you."

Someone lifted my legs and pushed my head between them. My breaths were laboured. I wanted everything to disappear. I wanted to go home. I wanted my kids.

"Can't you inject something into her system?"

"No."

"She's freaking out."

"She'll be fine."

"Fuck you."

"Everyone shut up!" Edward yelled.

Water started falling on my head and I jerked away. I looked around, trying to see something but I couldn't see anything. Everything was blurry until I blacked out.

**~Ж~**

The next time I opened my eyes I was being carried. I looked up and saw that Snuffy was holding me. He beamed when he saw me.

"Rise and shine," he chuckled. "First Sergeant, she's awake."

"Put me down, Emmett," I mumbled and he complied with my request.

I straightened my body and the sudden move made me swoon. Instantly I was embraced by a pair of familiar hands. I wanted so much to bury myself in them but I knew I couldn't.

"Are you okay, Swan? Wanna sit down for a sec?" he asked.

"No, First Sergeant," I said knowing that others were around. "I'm fine," I paused. "What happened?"

"You blacked out."

"Oh," I said and bit my lip in shame. I never wanted them to see me like that. "How long was I out?"

"All the way from Abu Ghraib," he replied and placed his hand on my shoulder. He smiled sadly at me. He felt sorry for me. It pissed me off. "Hale," he called.

Rose approached us. "Sir?"

"Help Swan to the heads, get cleaned up and then head to BAS and have that wound stitched."

"Yes, Sir," she said.

"No," I said and I was fairly sure that he caught my anger. "I can manage on my own."

"Sw…" he started but I cut him off with a nod and marched toward the racks. I didn't get the chance to go further when I heard the Colonel.

"Cullen, Swan," he called. "In my office. Now!" I sighed and hung my head.

Edward waited for me. By the time we entered his office, the blinds were closed and two bottles of water sat on his desk. Black paled slightly when his eyes saw fell on me. He looked at me from head to toe and took a deep breath.

"Are you hurt?" he asked and I closed my eyes.

"It's not my blood, Sir," I said and sat down.

"Why don't you go and change first?"

"I'd rather get on with it. Then I can go and rest." I knew that he would understand. He knew me better than anyone else here.

"Start talking," he said and looked at Edward.

Edward took a deep breath. "Sir, the Warden wasn't very co-operative. He knew about the accident and he knew the reason we went there. He refused to acknowledge anything. I pestered him for about an hour but his mouth was shut. He informed me that I was stepping into things that I didn't want to be a part of and when I asked him what he meant he said he knew nothing and warned us to be careful because those men were dangerous."

I paid attention to what he said because I never got the chance to ask him what happened in there.

"When we got out, Swan, was in the car with a woman. Apparently she was the sister of one of our prisoners and she was hiding while she waited for us. Somehow she hoped that someone else apart from Crowley would visit the facility," he continued and took out the papers Shada gave him. "This is a map of the area around Abu Ghraib and some documents. The green dot indicates a warehouse which housed Al-Qaeda members that obtained our prisoners by payment."

"What?" Black screamed.

"From what Shada told us, they got our prisoners by paying US military men," Edward repeated. "When we asked her for a description she described Crowley and the description was clear as day Sir."

"Son of a bitch," Black hissed. "Why would he do something like that?"

"For money," I said lowly. "He disgraced his memory, the Marines and his career for money."

"Keep going," Colonel demanded.

"Shada offered to take us to the warehouse. At the time I thought it was a wise decision, but once we arrived I realized what a poor one it was," Edward said and lowered his head. He felt guilty and no one could say otherwise. "We hid in an abandoned building and she explained that only three men were in the warehouse. The rest were on the grounds. I decided that the best option was to get into the building from the back. We didn't get the chance to cover ourselves properly when we arrived. A sniper was hidden in one of the surrounding buildings . The first shot was meant to kill, Sir, and it didn't have our names on it. On our way there, Shada explained that in order to get these documents she slept with one of them. My suspicion is that after she got them, they realized it was her that took them and they killed her.

"We took cover and we started shooting back. One of the bullets ricocheted and ended up cutting Hale's forearm."

Colonel nodded but the worry was visible in his face. "Is she okay?"

"Yes, her arm is functioning perfectly. She'll only need stitches and she's getting them as we speak," Edward replied.

"Is it her blood on you?" Black asked me. Both Edward and I stiffened.

Fuck!

As I was about to speak, Edward started talking again. "No, Sir. I spotted a jeep approaching rapidly toward us when Swan spotted some movement in the warehouse." Fuck, fuck, fuck! He was handing me to Black on a silver platter. I was fucking dead. "She called for cover and Stanley complied with the order."

What. The. Fuck?

"There was a child in the warehouse," he continued sadly and I felt my eyes filling with tears. "Unfortunately the boy didn't make it. Uh, the," Edward paused and cleared his throat. "The jeep had seven people. We took six down and managed to arrest the seventh. Jordan, Cheney and Newton are guarding him. I wanted to interrogate him but it's against the rules so…"

"This whole fucking mission was against the rules Cullen," Col. said interrupting Edward. "I'll figure out what to do with him," he paused. "Now tell me why I got a very angry phone call from Mohamed."

Edward bristled. "That fucker thinks that he can order us around. Once the shooting died down, he arrived, along with the Iraqi police, demanding to release the prisoner and hand every paper we had regarding the warehouse."

Black narrowed his eyes. "Is that all Cullen?"

I gave Edward a side glance and saw that he was staring at Black contemplating whether he should tell him something or not. He hid his face in his palms and sighed heavily. He scratched the top of his head and looked at the wall behind Black.

"Sir, I have no doubt what the answer will be but I need to ask you a question and I can only hope that you'll be sincere," he said, always respectfully.

"What is the question Cullen?"

"Are you involved in this?" Edward asked at once. I gasped loudly.

Black rose from his seat and leaned forward as Edward stood still. Colonel's face started getting a very dark shade of purple and for a few seconds I feared that he might have a stroke. Edward on the other hand was calmer than ever. He just stood there, looking at him…waiting for his answer; the one that was answered by the colour on his face.

"What the _fuck_ did you just ask me, Cullen?" he spat.

"You asked me if I was telling you everything, Sir, and I asked you if you were involved. So please, can you answer my question?" Edward asked again and folded his hands over his chest.

"Are you out of your goddamned mind?" he snarled. "Of course not!"

"Then why did the Warden say that the roster Crowley took was for our CO?" Edward asked without hesitation.

If I thought that asking him if he was part of this would give him a stroke then the second question would be the nail in his coffin. Black coughed and unbuttoned his top from his neck up down to the middle of his chest. He stumbled a bit and sat on his chair.

"Sir?" I asked nervously.

I looked at Edward and he held the same worried expression. He grabbed a bottle from the desk, opened it and walked around the desk. He sat on his heels and handed the bottle to Black.

"Drink, Sir." Black took the bottle with shaky hands and drank a couple of sips.

"Do you want me to call Colt?" I asked.

He shook his head and cleared his throat. Black took out a packet of cigarettes and lit one. That shit was bad for him due to his high blood pressure. He knew it and yet he kept doing it. I opened my mouth to speak again but Edward shook his head, shutting me up at one. Things were more fucked up than we thought they were. Why would Crowley say something like this? Did he want to frame him for some unknown reason? It was old news that Black didn't like him. He never liked privileged Marines and Crowley never hid the fact that he was one.

"Are you feeling better Sir?" Edward asked.

"Yes," Colonel whispered. "I'm sorry for my reaction. I wasn't expecting that."

"Anyone would have reacted that way," Edward said and walked back next to me. "Others would have reacted worse. However can I say something?"

"Spit it out, Cullen," he said and blew the smoke toward me. Asshole! He knew I hated it when someone did that.

"I may not have met Crowley, but from what I got so far he wasn't the smartest man on the planet," Edward said and I snorted.

"Pardon my French but that son of a bitch was smart enough to be bribed."

"That's true, Swan, but he was also a very bad liar. Think for a second. The day he died he said he was going to Victory Base, yeah? Now let me ask you something. What makes you think that Colonel didn't know that he was lying?"

I felt my eyebrows reach the hairline on my head. I turned to look at Black. He smirked and shook his head while looking at Cullen. What the hell?

"What person that has brains would make a three hour trip in a jeep where he knew he could be attacked? What person would make such trip just because a cousin- estranged if I may add- broke his leg?" Cullen continued. "Think about it."

"How do you know they were estranged?" I asked.

"When he barged into my office," Colonel said. "We talked. They hadn't spoken for about three years because they had some inheritance issues back home."

"The point is that he wasn't known for his intelligence. My opinion is that he lied to the Warden in order to get the roster. The Warden said that when he handed the list to him he asked Crowley to have the CO call him and he didn't," Edward said. "I think that we'll get more answers from that shit we brought here." Colonel nodded.

"Okay," he said and stood. "Go get cleaned up," he ordered. "I want a written report on my desk by fifteen hundred."

"Yes, Sir," Edward and I said at once. First Sergeant opened the door and as I was about to leave as Colonel called me back.

"Swan, a word please." Shit. Edward sighed and left, closing the door behind him. A lump started forming in my throat. I knew he would ask me about it.

"How are you?" he asked gently as he approached me. I closed my eyes and said nothing. "Come here, baby Bells," he said and hugged me tightly.

That was all it took. I rested my forehead on his chest and started sobbing. "Oh, Jake!"

"Let it out sweetheart. I'm here," he whispered and kissed the top of my head.

**~Ж~**

I had no idea how long I had stayed under the shower. Rose had to drag me out of it. I felt so numb. That little boy affected me so much. It made me doubt myself, my strength.

"Let's get you dressed," she smiled sadly and placed a towel around me. "Then we'll go and eat." I shook my head in protest and she shrugged her shoulders. "Then I'll have Emmett use his muscles. Have you seen his biceps? I don't even want to think about his pecks," she joked and waggled her eyebrows, making me smile slightly.

After she helped me get dressed I thanked her. "No need to thank me. I did it because I wanted to. Look," she said and sighed. "I can only imagine what you felt in that warehouse. I'm not a mom so I don't know what I could say to make you feel better. What I can say though is that your babies are home and safe and even though you lose precious time with them it's not without a reason. You being here is the reason. You keep them safe, okay?"

We walked toward the mess hall and found Emmett waiting for us. He smiled when he saw us. "Come on," he cheered. "I found the perfect table."

"Which is?" Rose asked.

"The same one we always use," he laughed. "Go and have a seat, Swan, and I'll bring you something to eat. You look like shit."

"Smooth, McCarty," Rose glared.

As I sat down I looked around to see if Edward was here but he wasn't. I wanted to thank him. He didn't have to cover for me today and yet he did, risking his own head. I wanted to feel his arms around me again.

"_What is your deepest desire?" I asked._

"_Children," he said sadly. My heart broke for him. He looked so sad. "Jane, my ex-partner wasn't opposed to the idea of us getting married but she vetoed my wish for children. We broke up after that. I'm not getting any younger and it's the one thing I crave the most. At some point I thought of adopting but," he shrugged his shoulders. _

"_You'll have that one day. I'm sure of it," I told him and took his hand in mine. "You're a good man Edward and you deserve the best."_

"_You think?" I hadn't seen him so insecure before. I guess everyone has their demons._

"_I do," I said with conviction. "And even if you don't, I could lend you mine every now and them. Those bugs will be the death of me. I can only handle so much," I giggled._

"_And if I wanted to keep them forever?" he chuckled and I inhaled deeply as his eyes bore holes into my soul. He may have sounded like he was joking but that look indicated he wasn't._

"_We could come up with some sort of um… agreement?"_

_He chuckled, bid me good night and walked away._

"Fuck," I swore. "Fuck!" I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself.

A tray was placed in front of me. I ate in silence and sometimes listened to what Emmett and Rose talked about. Edward skipped eating in order to get the report done. I offered to take food to him, giving Emmett the chance to relax. God only knew how much we needed it. Rose told us that the medic gave her seventeen stitches and released her from any physical activities for about ten days.

"I'm not made of fucking porcelain," she grumbled.

"We know that, Rose, but you need to heal," Emmett said and she sighed. "Anyway," he said and he stood. "I'll take the food to SFC."

"No," I said making them jump by my sudden outburst. "I'll do it. I need to speak with him."

"Okay," he said. "I'll carry it up to his office and then you're on your own, deal?" I nodded. Ateara passed a tray to him and once we reached his office, he handed it to me and left. I took a deep breath and knocked on his door.

"What?" he barked. He sounded angry and my suspicion was confirmed as I entered his office. He lifted his head and once he saw me, his jaw clenched and he fisted his left hand. "Do you need something, Staff Sergeant Swan?" I felt the blood leaving my face and my heart dropped to my stomach.

_Staff Sergeant Swan?_

"Are you okay, Edward?" I asked and closed the door behind me.

"It's Sergeant Cullen," he hissed and stood. What did I do? My heart started beating fast and my mind ran a million miles an hour replaying the day, trying to find something I did that might have pissed him off.

"Are you angry at me for what I did at the warehouse?" I asked and he chuckled humourlessly. "You didn't have to lie, you know." His stare was one of pure rage and something else. It made me feel naked.

He shook his head disgusted and with a swift move he went to his window and shut the blinds. "You know," he started without emotion. "When we were at _Black's_," he spat, "office this morning right before we left he was talking to us and I noticed something. He was looking at you and I didn't like it. There were twelve Marines in that fucking office and he had eyes only for you," he hissed.

"What are you talking about?" I asked perplexed.

"Cut the bullshit, Swan," he snarled and approached me. Out of instinct I walked to his desk and placed the tray on it. "I saw the way he looked at you and that look said a lot. That look wasn't one a fucking Colonel gives to his Staff Sergeant. It was one of agony and worry- one that only a man gives to a woman he cares about."

What the fuck was he saying? Did he think that Jake and I…? I narrowed my eyes and lifted my chin high. "Are you accusing me of something?"

_Don't you dare start crying! _

"Tell me Staff Sergeant Swan, have you heard many Colonels calling their NCOs 'baby Bells' and 'sweetheart'?" he hissed. "Because for the life of me I haven't in twenty fucking years," he all but yelled.

I couldn't breath. He heard us.

"Or do you make it a habit of calling your CO 'Jake' because as sure as hell you stomped your foot on the ground when I requested you call me Edward."

"Ed…"

"Don't you fucking dare call me that," he spat. He was livid and no matter what I said nothing would calm him. "How long?"

My eyes started to brim with tears. "I don't kn…"

"How long have you been fucking him?"

I gasped and the next thing I knew my palm made contact with his cheek. The force was strong enough to turn his head to the side. My breathing sped as he turned his murderous gaze on me. How could that man be the same man that comforted me at the warehouse? How could this man be the one the joked with me and Snuffy as we drank our morning coffee? How could this man be the one that spent hours with me every day just talking? How could my father trust a man like him?

"Fuck you," I hissed as I felt tears escaping from my eyes. "_Sergeant First Class Cullen_."

Before I could even blink he pinned me on the door, with his face a mere inch from touching mine. "Do you know," he whispered angrily, "how much I wanted to come inside that fucking office and beat the shit out of him for calling you those names? It drove me mad. Ever since I saw that fucking picture of you, I can't get you out of my head. Your name, your voice, your smell, everything about you dominates my every thought… it haunts me and I can't figure out why," he finished and once I realized he was about to kiss me I turned my head to the side.

My breathing was out of control but so was my heart and mind. What the fuck had gotten into him?

'_The fact that he likes you maybe and the green eyed monster took over his logic?_' a small voice said.

I felt his trembling hand cupping my cheek and turning my head to look at him. I wanted to move so much but on the other I knew I couldn't… I wouldn't. I refused to do so. I swore on my babies lives I would never get into a relationship with a colleague. Never… no matter how much I wanted him.

"Look at me," he whispered urgently.

'_He thinks I sleep with Jake,_' I thought. '_He thinks I'm a whore. What will he think if he ever found out about Marcus?_'

"Please, please Bella. Please look at me," he begged.

No!

I closed my eyes and when I opened them and finally looked at him, I was perfectly sure he got the message. I placed my hands over his chest and with all the strength I had, I push him away.

"Fuck you."

I opened the door and left hoping that he wouldn't come after me…

But he did…

* * *

**A/N #2:**

**Should I hide? Nah…**

**Hello… *grins* How are ya? This chapter was interesting no? What do you think it's gonna happen next? Just so you know, the next chapter will be EPOV.**

**A huge thank you, to Cejsmom and Monique. This story wouldn't be anywhere without you. Oilily, thanks bb.**

**When I started this story, I knew that several ranks should be addressed like they are, for example Bella's. She's either Staff Sergeant Swan or Staff Sergeant. The reason I don't have it like that unless it's absolutely necessary is because I want people to understand that no matter what the rank is, these men and women have become close. **

**The next chapter is already written and keep in mind that I wrote it before July 18th… Just saying, lol. This was done a week before that. Anyway, chapter 6 will be posted when I'm done with chapter 7. I've been having some issues with it that I'm still trying to work out.**

**As you wait for the next chapter take a look to these wonderful stories I found:**

_The real life of E A Masen_ **by **_Vancouver-Canuck-Girl._

**Sum: **_Edward Cullen - to most, he's a boring book editor but he's really an elusive romance novelist with an erotic flair. When he's not writing porn, I mean romance, he's just a guy who's married to his high school sweetheart and father of three teens. Rated: M_

**This story is funny and I really like the relationship between E and his kids. Not to mention that it deals with situations most parents deal with nowadays. Give a shot.**

_The role that changed me_** by **_MerryCain_

**Sum: **_Isabella Swan wanted to be taken seriously as an actress. Signing on with director Carlisle Cullen was a dream come true. Falling in love; however, was completely unexpected. A/H. Some OOC B/E A/J EM/R._

**Now this baby doesn't have a lot of reviews and it's a shame. It's well written and the plot so far is good. You think it's predictable but it's not. Especially the way it ended in the last couple of chapters.**

_A vampire's wife_** by **_bluemoom255_

**Sum: **_Bella was a sad and lonely girl who was suffering in silence but everything changes when she meets the golden eyed man and finds out that vampires and mating were not just made up stories._

**I really like this one. The connection was instant and really beautiful and romantic. It's shame that it doesn't have a lot of reviews as well.**

**I've been thinking of making a page either on Facebook or somewhere else and add photos about this story. If you're interested let me know and I'll start working on it. **

**You'll find me on Facebook as Penelope Griva and on Twitter as MrsECullenPen.**

**By clicking the magical button that says '_Review this chapter_' will bring you closer to your update and of course you'll get your teaser…**

**Until next time…**

**Pen…**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.**

* * *

_**Previously…**_

"_Please, please Bella. Please look at me," he begged. _

_No!_

_I closed my eyes and when I opened them and finally looked at him, I was perfectly sure he'd get the message. I placed my hands over his chest and will all the strength I had I push him back. _

"_Fuck you."_

_I opened the door and left hoping that he wouldn't come after me…_

_But he did…_

* * *

**A/N#1 I finished writing this chapter July 18th, a week before the whole affair thing started… Just saying.**

* * *

**Chapter 6**

* * *

**EPOV**

* * *

Rage.

Disgust.

Pain.

Jealousy.

Possessiveness.

Need.

Emptiness.

I slammed the door of my office hard and start pacing like a madman.

_Come here baby Bells._

_Oh Jake!_

_Let it out sweetheart. I'm here._

How could she? The fucking Colonel?

'_Maybe you're wrong_.'

Wrong my fucking ass. There is no wrong for what I heard. I snarled out loud like an animal. All I wanted was to go into that office and rip him to fucking pieces. And _her…_ how could she?

I felt as if someone was ripping my soul to pieces. What they were doing was against the regulations and yet they didn't stop it. How could she? How could he? That fucker knew better than to start anything with her. How could she do this to her career, to Charlie?

"Edward?" I snapped my head up and saw Emmett closing the door. "Are you okay man?"

"Emmett, I'm not in the mood for chit chat. Leave please."

He sighed. "It's been a stressful day."

How about world shattering?

"You know," he started. "You seemed pretty cozy with Swan."

Deep breaths Edward…

"Emmett, drop it," I said without looking at him.

He snickered. "Why Edward, are you turning shy on me?"

"If you value your life, you'll leave this office now," I hissed. "I'm not in the fucking mood and I've work to do."

He paled almost instantly and lowered his head. "Sir," he mumbled, turned around and left.

'_Taking out your anger to innocent ones now?'_

"Fuck!"

Forget the fact that he was our Colonel. How about the fact that the fucker was married? He never hid the fact that he was- his wedding picture was on his fucking desk and he wore a band. He had kids. What the fuck was she thinking? She was so sweet and caring. The Bella I know would never do something like that. The Bella I was attached to had a heart of pure gold and respected family values.

I needed to vent. Without a second thought, I left my office and headed toward the makeshift gym. The only one there was Whitlock but I ignored him when he greeted me. I had an appointment with the punching bag. By the time I stood in front of it, I started punching using all of my strength. I was out of control.

_Come here baby Bells._

Punch.

_Oh, Jake._

Punch.

_Let it out sweetheart._

Kick.

_I'm here._

Punch.

"First Sergeant!" someone called and I felt my hand being held back. Whitlock came in front of me. "You're hurting yourself, Sir," he said and pointed at my knuckles. They were a little scratched. "You need to cover your hands before you start punching," he said calmly.

"I'm fine, Whitlock," I lied.

"With all do respect, Sir, you're not. It has been a difficult day today. Go and have a shower and get some sleep. It will help you calm down."

I left without saying anything. I knew I was acting like an asshole; my Marines weren't at fault but I couldn't help myself. It was better to leave than say something I would surely regret… especially to the wrong person… again. With a brief stop to my can, I took my things and headed toward the head. I undressed quickly and stepped under the shower. I closed my eyes and let the water hit my body in a feeble attempt to calm me done but… all I could think of were the words I heard coming out of his mouth.

'_What if you misinterpreted the situation?_'

Peter came to my mind.

"_You're such an asshole, Edward," Peter hissed. "You know that I would never say something like that; especially for you, man."_

"_Then why would Bob say that? You and I are the only ones who knew the asshole."_

"_Edward, he's lying," he yelled. "Maybe he overheard us talking about Sarah. I saw him lurking the other day. I would never betray your trust. You're my brother."_

_I sighed. I knew he was telling the truth._

"_I swear to you that one day someone is gonna hand you your ass. You should stop jumping to conclusions. Give the benefit of doubt bro."_

There was no jumping to conclusion here. It was clear as day that those two were together and fuck if that didn't hurt like hell. Without realizing it I had invested too much. I wasn't in love with her but I wasn't far from it either. She evoked emotions in me that I had long forgotten. Her presence alone weakened me. I felt like I was at her beck and call with just a mere look from her and I didn't like it. I was always in control emotionally and I had no idea when I fucking lost said control.

Once I was done, I got dressed, returned to my can and lay on my bed for a while. I couldn't sleep though. Every time I tried, all I could see was her in my arms, crying her heart out. How could that person be so deceiving?

Did she love him?

Was it only physical?

Did she dream of him?

My head was throbbing and I heard a slight ringing in my ears. I needed to calm down but how? How could I do that when all I could think was her in his fucking arms?

"Come on," I heard Emmett say. "I found the perfect table." I was about to answer when I heard Hale.

"Which is?"

"The same one we always use," he laughed. "Go and have a seat, Swan, and I'll bring you something to eat. You look like shit."

I felt a rumble starting to rise in my chest at the sound of her name. There goes the little calmness I had managed to regain. I shot from my bed and as I opened the door I saw her form turning around the corner. I shut the door loudly and hastily walked to my office. The report that motherfucker asked me would take things off my mind. I switched on the computer and as I waited for it to boot up, I grabbed a bottle of water and chugged it down. I took out my cigarettes, lit one and started working on the report.

When I was almost done, I heard a knock on the door. "What?" I yelled angrily. The door opened and I saw her entering holding a tray with food. I felt my jaw and fist clenching. Fuck! Why did she have to seek me today? I wasn't ready to confront her. "Do you need something, Staff Sergeant Swan?" The light rosy colour that was on her face left and her eyes widened a little.

_That's right sweetheart. Fear me._

"Are you okay, Edward?" closing the door behind her.

"It's First Sergeant Cullen," I hissed and she gaped at me.

"Are you angry at me of what I did at the warehouse?" I chuckled. _It's far more than that._ "You didn't have to lie, you know."

She thought that I was fucking enraged because I lied for her to save her ass? It made her question sound so innocent but to me it sounded like she was making fun of me. I decided to close the blinds because we didn't need to have an audience.

"You know," I started. "When we were at _Black's_ office this morning right before we left, he was talking to us and I noticed something. He was looking at you and I didn't like it. There were twelve Marines in that fucking office and he had eyes only for you."

She furrowed her eye brows. "What are you talking about?"

"Cut the bullshit, Swan," I snarled and she stiffened. She walked toward my desk and set the tray down. "I saw the way he looked at you and that look said a lot. That look wasn't one a fucking Colonel gives to his Staff Sergeant. It was one of agony and worry; one that only a man gives to the woman he cares about."

She narrowed her eyes lightly at me and lifted her chin defiantly. "Are you accusing me of something?" Her voice broke a bit at the end. Fucking hypocrite.

"Tell me, Staff Sergeant Swan, have you heard many Colonels calling their NCOs 'baby Bells' and 'sweetheart'? Because for the life of me I haven't in twenty fucking years," I nearly yelled. Her eyes started brimming with tears. "Or do you make it a habit to call your CO 'Jake' because you sure as hell stomped your foot on the ground when I requested you call me Edward."

"Edw…" I cut her off before she continued. I couldn't stand hearing my name coming from her lips.

Had she kissed him earlier?

"Don't you fucking dare call me that," I spat with disgust. "How long?" I asked hoping she would get the meaning.

"I don't kn…" Apparently she didn't.

"How long have you been fucking him?" She gasped loudly and suddenly she raised her hand and slapped me… hard enough to feel the sting and turn my head to the side. I turned to look at her only to see her eyes full of hurt and anger.

"Fuck you," she hissed. "Sergeant First Class Cullen."

I lost it. I pinned her on the door with my fists on either side of her head with my lips barely touching hers. "Do you know," I whispered angrily, "how much I wanted to come inside that fucking office and beat the shit out of him for calling you those names? It drove me mad. Ever since I saw that fucking picture of you, I can't get you out of my head. Your name, your voice, your smell, everything about you dominates my every thought… it haunts me and I can't figure out why."

_Kiss her…_

I took a moment to look at her with clarity and the only thing I saw in her face was fear. I didn't want her to fear me. I wanted her to want me and not him. I wanted her to need me and not him.

_Kiss her…_

I placed my trebling hand on her cheek. I fucking needed her. "Look at me," I asked urgently. She didn't. She closed her eyes to avoid doing so. "Please, please Bella. Please look at me," I begged pathetically. I felt a lump forming in my throat. When she did lift her head to look at me, I wanted to die. Her beautiful brown eyes were emotionless, empty.

_Fuck what have I done?_

She pushed me back with all her strength. "Fuck you," she said with conviction and left.

What have I done?

_Go after her!_

I bolted out of my door and I saw her running toward the LZ. Not wanting to rouse any suspicions, I went in my office, saved the fucking report and waited for a minute or two. I quickly got out, locked the office and went after her. By the time I reached the trail I could hear her cries.

What had I done?

I saw her sitting on the ground, hugging her knees. I started breathing quickly and Peter's words came to my mind once again: give the benefit of doubt. Had I misjudged her? What if their relationship was just friendly?

_Would a male friend call his female friend baby so tenderly?_

"Bella," I said in no more than a whisper. She snapped her head up, stood and approached me. This time she was gonna deck me… I could feel it.

"If you ever come after me again for any other reason than professional, I will have you reported. If you fucking dare accuse me of sleeping with a CO I swear on my babies' lives I will go Lorena Bobbitt on your ass and you won't even have the chance to react," she snarled. "Call me anything you want apart from a bad mother and a whore. That is Stanley's title and not mine. You insulted me in the worst way imaginable and for that I hate you."

"Bella, please…" I said brokenly.

"Fuck you," she said and left. The only thing I did was to stay still and look at the empty space before me.

**~Ж~**

It had been ten days… ten days since I talked to her as Edward.

Ten days since we had our morning coffee ritual.

Ten days since she looked at me.

Ten fucking days since I saw her smile.

Ten motherfucking days since I last heard her laugh.

Ten days since I was able to sleep for more than a couple of restless hours.

Ten excruciating slow days.

I was exhausted and so pissed with myself not to mention the fact that Emmett had me on his shitlist as well. He was always formal and respectful and gone was the funny laid back guy. Every morning I would find him waiting for me outside my office holding only a cup of coffee. To many, it would sound fucked up but I really missed our coffee time. It was always fun and all the shit was left to the side. Nights- like this one- were the hardest. Most of the talks Bella and I had were during the night. Now I had to spend them alone, wandering around the camp until two-three am in the morning.

What fucking killed me the most though and made me feel even guiltier was the fact that Bella wasn't at her best either. Her performance as a Marine was outstanding but she looked miserable. She had dark circles under her eyes and she'd lost a couple of pounds. I had caught her many times going into the Colonel's office and spending some time there. On the one hand it pissed me off to no end but on the other I felt rejected. The time she spent with him was my time with her. It made me wonder what they talked about.

Was she laughing with him more than she did with me?

Was he making her bare her soul to him and easing her fears?

Did he love her?

'_Do you?_' a small voice sang in my head.

Did I? I had no fucking clue.

The clock on the wall indicated that it was half past one in the morning. I sighed and left my office. I decided to walk around the camp as usual in hopes to get tired and sleep- something I knew that wouldn't work but I still did it. Throughout those ten days, I avoided the LZ. I wanted to go in there in hopes that I would see her but I never did. I knew that she would be there; she was always there. She told me in one of our talks.

'_Just go, be stealthy quiet, get a glimpse and go._'

That's what my mind always thought. If I was lucky enough I would get to see her three times a day that was it. Maybe if I was quiet…

"Fuck it," I said to myself and started walking toward the LZ.

When I reached her spot, I debated whether I was doing the right thing or not. I wasn't afraid of the threats she made that day. The Lorena Bobbitt one was a bit intimidating but my real issue was that I didn't want to invade her space. She wanted nothing to do with me.

'_Stop being a pussy and do it._'

Making sure I was perfectly hidden I leaned a bit and saw her sitting on her usual spot of ground. What surprised me was that her hair was down; rich mahogany hair that almost reached her waist, slightly wavy with soft curls at the end. There was a light breeze that made her hair winnow at the sides. I would give anything, absolutely anything to tangle my fingers in her light locks. She was perfection. I observed her as she drank a soda and smoked her cigarette; humming to herself a tune that sounded like 'Soldier of fortune'. My chest constricted. Had I not been a fucking dick, we would be talking and laughing right now. I took a shaky breath and decided to head back. As I turned around to leave, I was stopped dead in my track.

"In 2006 I was transferred to Camp Lejeune in North Carolina. It was hard because it would be the first time I'd been alone. Dad had been transferred to San Diego. There were thousands of people there but I felt so lonely and scared," she said. "The first couple of months I was like a robot: wake up, go to work, come back from work, sleep and repeat. Some of my colleagues called me a hermit when they thought I wasn't listening. But I did… every single time. One day Linda, a Corporal at the time, approached me and said that a couple of people would be going to a bar later that day," she paused.

It would be stupid of me to turn around and leave and pretend that I hadn't heard her. She was talking to me which meant that she might want to fix things between us. I walked and sat down next to her. I wanted to look at those eyes I'd missed so much but I didn't have the guts to do it. She reached to her side, picked up a soda and passed it to me.

"Thank you," I said in a hoarse voice.

"At first I thought of turning down the offer but then I said to myself to go for it. It was Friday after all. I accepted and I met them at the bar that night. We had a lot of fun. We drank and exchanged stories from boot camp and deployments. Linda was telling us how she met her fiancé, a fellow Marine, when a man approached our booth. He greeted us and introduced himself as Marcus Cole."

I ran the name through my mental database but I was sure that I'd never come across a Marcus Cole. I hated that fucker instantly.

"He asked if he could join us since his company had ditched him and we all agreed. He told us that he had been at Lejeune for a year and that he was an E-5 Sergeant. Time was flying by quickly and he asked me to dance with him. I was a bit tipsy so I accepted. The way he looked at me made me feel beautiful and powerful… desired. We danced for a while and he asked me if I wanted to leave the bar and go for a walk. Without a word, I said goodnight to the girls and left with him.

"We dated for a couple of months before we became intimate. Marcus," she said acidly, "wanted to establish a mental relationship first and then get physical. You see he was a firm believer that souls need to connect first. I knew I should have paid more attention to the minor details. Five months into our relationship he informed me that he would deploy to Saudi Arabia in three months time. I was devastated because he made me fall in love with him and I had to be left behind. I knew that there was no way in hell he could get out of it. He promised me that we would make it; that it was just an obstacle we had to go through and that we would survive it.

"The next couple of months went by quickly and never once did I realize that I was late." She took a swing from her beer and lit another cigarette.

"Late for what?" I asked.

"My period Edward," she mumbled and ran her fingers through her hair. "I took a pregnancy test and it was positive- so were the following two. My world fell apart not because of the news but because I was out of time. He was leaving in two weeks. Never once did it cross my mind to get rid of them. I called him the same morning and asked him if we could go out for dinner the following day. He knew something was up but didn't ask me. He texted me saying that he made the reservations and to be ready at seven. I was confused. I didn't know how something like that had happened. I took my pill religiously. I called my OB and told him what happened. You see, before I relocated he changed my pills and at some point when I started dating Marcus, I got an ear infection and was on antibiotics. That did the trick." Antibiotics decreased the effectiveness of birth control pills. No wonder it was a surprise pregnancy.

She lit another cigarette. "The following day he picked me up. When he started driving, I turned so I could ditch my coat and purse in the back seat when I saw a saber," her voice started trembling. "I asked him about it and he brushed it off by saying that his First Lieutenant asked him to take it and have it polished."

'_Please God, no,_' I begged in my thoughts.

"When we arrived at the restaurant, the host led us to the very back. He always preferred more private areas," she shook her head. "He didn't want to be interrupted by anyone or anything. That was always his excuse. Marcus was very perceptive among other things. Once we ordered our drinks, he asked me what was wrong and I told him. When he looked at me I realized that he wasn't the man I believed he was. Gone was the attentive and loving man. The first words that came out of his mouth were that I ruined him. I was speechless."

So was I.

"He took my hand and told me that we weren't ready for a baby yet. That it was the worse timing ever. As I was about to speak, we were interrupted by someone clearing his throat. I looked up and saw a Marine," she choked. "He was a First Lieutenant. He called Marcus 'Captain.' Seven fucking months with him and I never knew. That was when I realised why I never met any of his friends or the fact that he never took me to his house. Had he taken me there, then I would have found out he was lying about his rank."

Out of instinct, I wrapped my arms around her and I sighed for two reasons: a) for touching her and b) for what she went through. Did Charlie know? I bet he ripped the fucker to new one.

"I never sought him at work. We were in different units and that place was huge. We always met at my place and slept there. He never introduced me to his friends because he said that he didn't have any. He liked being alone. I never questioned it because I was sort of the same, you know? Anyway," she cleared her throat and tucked her hair behind her ears, "they spoke for a couple of minutes and when that guy left, Marcus verbally attacked me. He accused me of knowing his rank all along and wanting to trap him; that this pregnancy was unwanted by him and he advised me to get rid of _it. _He even insinuated that it wasn't his.

"I felt humiliated. I chose to give my heart to him- a decision that wasn't easy for me- and he treated me so horribly. I got up, slapped him and left the restaurant. I got in a cab, went straight home and cried my heart out. There was no way I was having an abortion. Most men think it's an easy decision but it's not; whether it's a mass of cells or not, it was still a baby. I called in sick for the next couple of days and stayed home. I hadn't seen him for two weeks when one afternoon, he came to my house. He had the audacity to use the spare key I'd given him.

"Before I had the chance to say anything, Marcus raised his hand stopping me, stating that he wanted to talk. He said that it was against regulations to be together since he was an officer and I was enlisted. His fucking career was more important than 'shitty diapers'," she air quoted. _Son of a bitch._ "He doubted the fact that he was the father so he demanded I do a DNA test the following day. That shit was dangerous and I would never risk my pregnancy. If there was a chance that the baby was his then we would go to a civilian lawyer and relinquish his paternal rights. He didn't want that shit out in the open because it was fucked up to lose his job over a lousy lay."

"Oh, Bella," I whispered and hugged her closer to me. The only thing I wanted that minute was to track this fucker down and kill him with my bare hands. How could he say those things to her? Treat her that way? Lisa and Chris's smiles popped into my head and I felt my eyes burning. He had no idea what he was missing.

"He threw a card on my couch and told me to call that number. It was his lawyer. He left and never looked back. The only communication between us was through his lawyer. Once the babies were delivered, I went to the clinic the lawyer suggested, did the DNA test and when it came back positive, he signed away his rights. My lawyer and cousin, Emily, told me that I could ask for financial support but I wouldn't hear of it. There was no chance in hell I would ever take anything from him. Everything I needed was in a double stroller."

We stayed silent for several minutes. There were so many things I wanted to ask but on second thought I didn't because I had no idea how I'd react to the answers. Had he ever sought her to ask about his kids?

"You can ask anything you want," she whispered.

"Charlie?"

She giggled and shifted to face me, making me drop my arm from around her. "Charlie has a mind of his own. When I started dating Marcus, I mentioned it to him. He was okay with it but cautious. The fact that we were stationed far from one another made it even more difficult for Dad. You see, he wouldn't get the chance to clean his hunting rifles in front of Marcus to scare him off." I chuckled. I could totally imagine Major doing that.

"When everything fell apart he called me but I didn't have the nerve to tell him. He caught that something was off when he heard my voice but didn't say a word. When I opened my door nineteen hours later I wasn't surprised to see both of my parents standing there. He had my mom drive to camp and from there they drove straight to NC. I told them what happened and Mom had to barricade the house to prevent my father from going after him. That didn't last long," she laughed.

"He did, didn't he?"

"Oh yeah," she snorted, "…while Ma and I were sleeping, he found his chance. Mom screamed bloody murder when she woke up and saw that he was missing. She knew how crazy he would get if anyone hurt his baby," she shrugged her shoulders. "Not long after he barged through the front door, wearing his utilities and pissed off like never before. He still hasn't told me what transpired between them. Three days later, Marcus was gone."

"Do you know where he is now?" I asked her. If she wouldn't tell me then I'd look for him.

"Why should I?" she asked baffled.

"Just asking," I shrugged my shoulders. That fucker could be a Major by now.

She bit her lip and gave me a side glance. I swallowed down the groan that was about to escape my mouth. "After Marcus, I swore to never get involved romantically with another Marine. The reason I told you about my past was because I wanted you to know that I'm not sleeping with Ja… Black, Edward. I would never do something like that. I want you to believe me on that."

I sighed heavily and let myself get lost into the night that surrounded us, not saying anything. I contemplated everything she confessed and I truly hurt for her. Bella was a kind person and I felt so ashamed of talking to her the way I did. I was an impulsive fucker, especially with people I… cared about.

'_Sorry to interrupt the whole soul search crap but you need to apologize… like now._'

"Bella?"

"Yeah?" she said and turned to look at me.

"I'm really sorry," I whispered. "I was wrong to accuse you of something like that. I should have let you explain and not act like a crazed fool."

"I know you are, Edward." She rested her head on my shoulder and I swear to anything holy left that I felt flutters in my stomach.

"Did you mean the things you said?"

"God, no," I said horrified and she gasped. "I was shocked when I heard him call you those names Bella, and reacted badly."

Her body relaxed. "Not that. The other… things."

Fuck.

"There's no point breeching that subject," I said looking anywhere but her. "You've made your opinion pretty clear."

She kneeled in front of me and her palm caressed the cheek that ten days ago was slapped. "I need to know."

"Why?" I pressed.

"Because I need to be sure."

"About what?" I mumbled. God I wanted to kiss her.

_Kiss her…_

"You're not the only one who's been confused, Edward." I barely heard what she said. "Ever since Marcus I'd never been… I'd never thought of another man. It's not because I love him because I don't. You've made me think about things that I'd long forgotten."

"Tell me one," I demanded softly. I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead on hers. I needed her.

"What it would feel like to be cherished." She ran her thumb over my cheekbone. "No one can deny the fact that you love taking care of people. You show that aspect of yourself every single day. It made me wonder what you'd be like in your personal life."

"Bella," I breathed.

"Remember the day I asked you about your deepest desire?" I nodded against her forehead. "It made me wonder how you'd be with my kids."

I skimmed the tip of my nose across her jaw line. I hummed; content with that small amount of contact. She shivered and a barely audible cry came from her mouth. I pulled back a little to look at her. There was nothing else than darkness around us and I could still see every detail of her face. A rapture of emotions exploded inside of me: adoration, admiration, need, happiness, content, fascination, temptation… Her mouth was slightly open and her eyes sparkled through the darkness like precious little diamonds.

"We can't do this," she said brokenly.

"We can," I said and my lips found hers in a searing kiss.

Our lips didn't leave each other; they just stayed locked. Both of us knew that if they moved things would never be the same. They had already changed without us realizing it. I wanted her and I would get her, no matter how much I had to wait. I was a patient man and I always got what I wanted. The only thing I had to wait for was for her to realize it. She was hurt and I would be the one to mend her because she deserved nothing more than the best.

"No," she gasped.

"Yes, Bella." I held her still to prevent her from fleeing. "I feel so much more than the words of anger I told you in my office. I know your reservations and fears but I'm nothing like him."

"I know," her voice shook. "And that's what scares me the most." She pushed me back lightly and stood. "I made a promise, Edward, and I'm not going to break it. I'm sorry."

* * *

**A/N:**

**So? *smirks***

**Shorter chapter and enough though I would have liked to add more, I thought it was a really nice place to finish it.**

**For those who don't know who Lorena Bobbitt is: in 1993 Lorena's husband (I call him fucker), after a night of severe partying returned to their home and he raped her. Once he was done, she got up, went to the kitchen to drink some water, grabbed a knife and chopped his dick off. That's what I call justice *laughs darkly*. **

**Chapter 7 is almost done. I only need a couple of paragraphs and then off to my saviors, lol.**

**Thanks for reading…**

**Cejsmom, Monique, a simple thank you will never be enough…Oilily, danke! **

**You'll find me on Facebook as Penelope Griva and on Twitter as MrsECullenPen.**

**By clicking the magical button that says 'Review this chapter' will bring you closer to your update and of course you'll get your teaser…**

**Until next time…**

**Pen…**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.**

* * *

_**Previously…**_

_"No," she gasped._

_"Yes, Bella." I held her still to prevent her from fleeing. "I feel so much more than the words of anger I told you in my office. I know your reservations and fears but I'm nothing like him."_

_"I know," her voice shook. "And that's what scares me the most." She pushed me back lightly and stood. "I made a promise, Edward, and I'm not going to break it. I'm sorry."_

* * *

**Chapter 7**

* * *

**BPOV**

* * *

"Tell him, Bella," Jake said. "I don't care. We aren't doing anything wrong."

"I'm telling shit to no one. He made his fucking bed. Now he can lay on it," I grumbled.

"You're a stubborn little shit, you know that?"

"Look who's talking."

"Whatever, Bells," he rolled his eyes.

"Did you find anything important in the docs?" I asked.

"Not much. It seems like they were working on their own. All the reports that were supposed to have names had only Crowley's and Hue's," he shook his head. I was about to ask about the interrogation when we heard a knock on the door.

"Come in," Jake called. A man I'd never seen before stepped into the office and saluted us.

"Colonel Black, Staff Sergeant Swan."

"Name and rank."

"Sergeant Dean Whithers, Sir."

"Station?"

"Mandali."

"And what brings you all the way to Fallujah, Sgt. Whithers?"

He looked at me and then back to Jake. "Do I have permission to speak freely, Sir?"

"Talk," Jake commanded.

"I was ordered to come here because an Iraqi member of Al Qaeda was arrested and he's on the premises," Whithers said.

Jake narrowed his eyes and leaned forward. "Specialty?"

"Interrogator."

"Cheney!" Fuck he was pissed. Seconds later, Ben entered the office.

"Sir."

"Get Cullen, now! Staff Sergeant you're dismissed." With a nod I left.

What the fuck just happened? Where did he come from and more importantly how did this shit come out? It was a secret mission. Fuck, Edward was in serious trouble. Black warned him that if it got out, then he would be held responsible.

'_Why do you care?_'

I don't…

'_Riiiiiight._'

"SSgt. Swan," I heard Hunter call. I turned around and saw him running toward me, grinning. "I'm done Skyping so go ahead. No one's there."

"Good chat?" I smiled.

"Yeah," he said. "My mom cried like there was no tomorrow but it was good." I shook my head and giggled. "I got to see my Vicky as well."

"My mom doesn't cry but whenever I'm about to end the call she remembers that she has to check something in the kitchen."

He rolled his eyes. "Typical," he sighed. "The good thing in all this, is that time goes by quickly."

I nodded. "It does indeed. Strange huh?"

"No it's not. We have of one the best Colonels, a caring First Sergeant that knows his shit and a kick ass Staff Sergeant. The first six months sucked but the last two made up for them." He looked down for a second. "Only one thing still sucks."

"What's that?" I asked as we started walking.

"You won't be with us for much longer. After this tour is over, you're reassigned, no?"

I punched his shoulder lightly. "Just because we won't be at the same unit anymore that doesn't mean we won't talk over the phone or hang out, James," I said. "Many Marines frown upon the way I handle things, like the way I'm addressed or the fact that I'm friends with most of you but I don't care. We've been through some pretty tough shit and you've been there for me. I can't dismiss that."

He cleared his throat. "Well good. Anyway, I promised McCarty we'd play hoops so…"

I giggled. "Go and tell Snuffy I want milk in my coffee tomorrow morning."

It had been ten days since the incident in Edward's office. None of that would have happened had he let me talk instead of insulting me the way he did. Jake would have offered to step in and explain the situation to him but he knew better. I would never ask him to do something like that. We made a pact before we left and it would stay that way. We had nothing to hide, and truth be told, I didn't want to be pointed at as the privileged one because I wasn't. Everything I'd accomplished to date, I'd done on my own. After that afternoon, I would spend most of my nights in my secret spot. He was the only one who knew where.

As James said, no one else was occupying the computers. I quickly sat down and logged on. I hoped that my babies weren't asleep. It rang a couple of times before the video chat was enabled.

"There's my beauty," Charlie grinned.

"Hi, Daddy," I said and my heart clenched. "Sorry for not calling earlier."

"No need to be sorry baby. Ex- Marine, remember?"

"Yeah but still; we've been caught up here so… Anyway, where's Ma? My bugs?" He huffed. "What did they do?"

"Not they, Bells. What did _he_ do, is the right question," he grumbled and stood up, taking the computer with him. "Sorry, baby, but I seriously need a cigarette right now." I laughed. He set the computer on the table at the front porch and sat down. "So, Emily came by today with those heathens she has for sons," I snorted and bit my lip. "When Lizzie saw Emily, she demanded they have a tea party. Junior asked if he could play in the back with Chris and Seth, so I said yes, which was a huge mistake. I didn't think to go out with them since I could see them through the window."

I shook my head and sighed. "Is he hurt?"

"Thank God, no. I swear that kid is gonna give me gray hair," he grumbled.

"Daddy, you already have gray hair," I teased him.

"Shut it, midget," he fired back playfully. "Anyway, about half an hour into their play, Seth came running into the house screaming his lungs out that Chris, was choking."

"Oh my God," I gasped loudly and I felt my heart quicken into my chest.

"Bells, calm down. He wasn't choking," he tried to sooth me. "I ran outside and saw Seth running into the woods."

"That fucking forest," I said angrily. "Dad, when I get home we're fencing the house and I don't give a shit whether Ma likes it or not."

"Believe it or not, she called Paul herself. He's starting tomorrow with the guys." I nodded and wiped my eyes. "So, I get there and what do I see: your son hanging from a tree." I gasped. "He climbed a tree about 5 feet tall and a branch went through his suspenders. Wanna hear the funny part? When that little shit saw me his face beamed and he started yelling 'Pa, I'm flying, woohoo' and started moving back and forth."

"How the fuck did he climb the tree?" I asked horrified.

"That's where heathen number one, aka junior, enters the story. He helped Chris get up the tree. From what Junior told me, he said that Chris said he was a monkey and Junior asked him to show him. So he pushed him up and you know the rest."

I groaned and rubbed my face. "I'm so sorry, Daddy."

"No need to apologize honey. Remember when I said that I always wanted a son? Well, I take that back. They are trouble makers," he chuckled.

"Where is he?" I asked.

"Bored of me already baby?"

"Never, but he needs to be reminded of a couple of rules. Don't get me wrong but he will definitely listen to me. Not to mention that Junior's father is gonna get his piece as well."

"I know sweetheart. They'll be back in a couple of minutes. We ran out of milk so Sue walked to the store with them to get some," he paused. "So how are things going there? Anything interesting?"

"No," I lied.

"Sure," he nodded and furrowed his eyebrows. I looked outside the window. "How was… the seminar in Baghdad?"

"Good."

"Did that fucker talk yet or not?"

I snapped my head up and looked at the screen with wide eyes. Dad had a smug look on his face while he leaned back on his chair, folded his hands over his chest with his cigarette dangling from his mouth.

"W-what?"

"It was a simple question Bells."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I lied again and kept my poker face.

He shook his head. "Baby, I may be retired but don't think for a second that Daddy doesn't know what's going on down there. You think I would bite that bullshit about school?"

Fuck! "Well it's the tr…"

"No lies Bella. You don't have to tell me but know that I know what happened down there… up to every single detail."

My mind instantly went to Edward. He must have been the one you spilled the beans to Charlie. "Did _he_ tell you?"

"You mean Ginger?" he smirked. I nodded. "No. Edward would never tell me anything over the computer or the phone. He knows better."

"Then who?"

"That's for me to know and you to never find out," he chuckled. "As I said, I have strong connections." I bit my lip and looked at him briefly. "So how is Ginger?" I snorted involuntarily. "Bella?"

"He's good," I spat. Fuck I was getting pissed.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Either you tell me or all I have to do is make a call. Now stop acting like a brat and tell me."

And tell I did. I told him everything, apart from him going all possessive on me. It was fucking weird to tell those things to my father. Mom was the one I opened my heart to for such things and she always came up with a solution. She was an understanding woman who eased my fears.

"And then he asked me something and I slapped him," I finished with a sigh.

Charlie's eyebrows reached his hairline. He opened his mouth and closed it a couple of times. "What the hell did he ask you to make you slap him? Fuck Bells, he's your SFC."

"And that gives him the right to insult me?" I fired back angrily.

"No matter what he said to you Bells, he is your superior. And Edward would never do anything unless he had some kind of proof."

"He asked me how long I've been _fucking_," I hissed, "Jake."

His eyes widened and his jaw dropped. "W-what?"

"He heard him calling me by my pet name Dad and all hell broke loose."

"You will tell him Bella." That wasn't a request. "Edward is a good man and you need to set things straight."

"No. He should have trusted me. Hell, Dad, I've said things to him about my life. Things I never said to anyone."

"Have you told him about Marcus?" That shut my mouth. "Then you need to tell him and make him understand that it's not what he thought it was." I frowned. "What's that frown for baby?" I shrugged my shoulders in response. "Is it about Edward?"

How could I tell him without saying names? I wanted to; I truly did because he was the only person that really knew Edward but… I sighed heavily and looked outside the window. Hale was passing with Emmett hot on her tail.

"Here's the thing." _Be convincing_. "There is a Sgt here, a female," I said, "…and there is a Lance Corporal, who is a male. They like each other… a lot."

"Okay." He narrowed his eyes, took a sip from his beer and lit a cigarette.

"Um, when we got back from you know where, Snuffy came on to her and let her know how he felt," I paused and lit a cigarette. "You see the feelings are kind of… mutual but the Sergeant has some… issues."

"Before you continue, is there any chance that either of them will be transferred when the tour ends?"

"Yes."

"Okay, continue." There was a hint of smirk on his lips. He was on to me.

"That's it," I said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," I said but it sounded more like a question.

"Well it isn't against regulations for them to be together if they want," he cleared his throat. "However, there is one issue. They can't be at the same unit. Is this… development new? Are they friends of yours?"

"Yes and yes."

"What I suggest then is to tell that Sgt. of yours to wait until the tour is finished and while they wait they could spend some time together- _talking_ only," he emphasized and I was sure my face was scarlet red. "Are these feelings strong?"

"I don't know?"

"Well if they are then you should tell Ginger. They can't be at the same unit baby, and you know that. It would do more harm than good. They'll get distracted and won't be able to stay focused."

"I don't think she's reached that point… yet," I said truthfully. I averted my eyes from the screen once again. My father was one of the two people who could read me like an open book.

"It's only a matter of time honey and you know it. The heart has a mind of its own," he said softly.

"I know Daddy."

"Bells, look at me." I hunched my shoulder in surrender, lifted my head and did as he asked. He took a deep breath and exhaled. "Oh baby."

"Charlie Logan Swan!" I heard Ma call. "You better not be talking with my daughter. I told you to call me the moment your saw the incoming!"

"Zip it woman," he grumbled. "I wanted sometime alone with my girl before all of you pounced."

"I'll show you pounce later," she hissed.

"Mommy!" I heard my girl squeal. Within seconds her beautiful face appeared on screen. "Hi Mommy," she waved and giggled.

"Hi baby girl."

_Keep it together Bella.  
_

"How are you, Mommy?"

"I'm fine, Princess. How's school?"

"Good," she said happily. "Mister Nolan gave me a star today."

"Really?" I feigned surprise. "That's super awesome!"

"I know. I made you a picture and also a picture for Mr. Soldier."

"Marine Lizzie," I heard Ma correct her. "Mr. Edward is a marine."

My mouth parted slightly and my eyes widened. I saw dad grinning widely, looking directly at the screen. Fucking abort!

"Baby, where's your brother?"

"He's hiding behind Nana," she giggled.

"Christopher Logan Swan!"

"Ooh, full name," Lisa said with wide eyes.

"Get your butt in front of the computer," I said firmly. Once he did the only thing I could see was a mop of brown hair. Shit.

"Chris, won't you say hi to Mommy?" Mom said.

"Hi, Mommy," he whispered sadly.

I groaned. "Will you show me your beautiful brown eyes, baby?" He shook his head no. "Please?" When he lifted his head and saw his tearful gaze my heart broke. Fuck!

"Are you mad at me?"

"A little," I nodded. "Are you going to tell me what happened today?"

"Jay Jay and Seth and Aunt Mily came. We were playing in the yard and Jay told me that his Nana called him dolpe, um, Pa what's the word?"

"Doppelganger," he chuckled. Junior really was his father's son; head to toe.

"I told him that Nana calls me grand-monkey and he said he didn't believe me because monkeys climb trees. I told him I climbed trees and he told me to prove it, then I told him that we are not allowed to go into the woods without Pa or Nana because they are grown ups and he said that we could go because he was a grown up and if I didn't go then I'd be a girl. I'm not a girl, Mommy, so I goed," he continued but Dad corrected him.

"Went."

"Yeah, so I went and he helpeded me up the tree and when I tried to come down I could not because something was holding me back and then Seth goed and called Pa and after he got me down Aunt Mily grounded Jay and he said it was my fault because I am not a real monkey so I can't climb and that I'm a girl. Mommy, I'm not a girl. I'm a boy," he hiccupped.

Now under any other circumstances I would wrap him around my arms and rock him until he calmed down but _here_ was the key point. If I was around, junior wouldn't have done anything because that kid shits his pants whenever he sees me, godmother or not. He just sits and talks whenever he's spoken to. When I'm not there it's as if he's taking revenge or something.

"Sunshine," I said calmly and he looked up. "Of course you're a boy. Jay Jay was mean and he wanted to tease you. Honey, as you grow up other children will tell you to do things in order to prove something but you don't have to. It's not worth it. You'll do difficult things to prove yourself that _you_ can do it and not because others told you, okay?" He nodded. "Now tell me, what is this thing I heard about you wanting to be a General."

His whole face beamed. "I want to be like you and Mr. Edward." I scowled at the mention of his name. So far it was only Dad who mentioned him, my kids now too?

"Well, the only thing you need to do then is go to school and study really hard."

"Uh huh," he smiled. "And then I go to wars and fight like you do."

My heart dropped. I didn't want that for my boy. I know that he was almost six and that he would change his mind thousands of times about his profession, but it still scared me. I looked at him and all I could think was him fighting and falling. I shook my head. No.

"_Bells, please baby," Dad said. "It's not the same."_

"_How can you say that?"_

"_I can say that because I'm sitting my ass on a chair. You on the other hand won't have any choice. You'll pick up your gun, go out and fight. I don't want that for you Bella."_

"_Dad," I snapped. "It doesn't matter if you want it or not. What matters is what I want for my life. I respect your opinion and that it's. This is my life- my future."_

_He shook his head and his eyes looked harshly mine. We've been doing this for a week now; fighting over my decision to join the Marines. Couldn't he just understand my need to do this? I wanted to make a difference in the world, be challenged. _

"_How the fuck would you feel about your future if you returned in a casket with a flag wrapped around of it?" he screamed. _

"_Charlie Logan Swan," Mom screeched. "Shut your mouth!"_

"_Stay out of this woman," he glared at Ma._

"_This is my daughter you're talking about and if someone needs to shut it that's you. If that's what she wants to do then I'm with her. If you don't like it, you know where the damn door is; don't let it hit you on your way out!" Dad sank on the couch and held his head. _

_I approached him and kneeled in front of him. I gently grabbed his wrists and pulled them away from his face. My lip started trembling. I had never seen my father cry. _

"_Daddy," I whispered. "Do you think that I will allow anything to happen to me? I was brought up in this life by the best tutor: you. I swear to God I will be fine and safe. With whom am I going to go hunting in secret?" I smiled._

"Mommy, why are you crying?"

Chris's voice took me out of my reverie. I quickly wiped my eyes and smiled. Dad was looking anywhere but me. I knew that he was thinking back to the time we fought endlessly about it.

"These are happy tears, bug."

Dad grabbed the kids and went inside to give them a bath. I talked with Mom for several minutes and ended the call. On my way to the racks, I saw Edward leaving Jake's office. I quickly hid; childish, I know, but I was too emotional at the moment. Once he was out of sight I quickly rushed to the racks. Rose and Stanley were there. I had been trying to talk to Stanley for a few days now and even though I had several opportunities before, for some reason I hadn't yet. I cleared my throat and both of them looked up.

"Hale, I need to speak to Stanley in private," I said.

She nodded. "Ma'am," she responded and left.

Once she was gone I turned my attention to Jessica. "I wanted to thank you."

She snorted. "For?" she asked arrogantly.

"Covering me in Abu Ghraib. Had you not started shooting, that man inside the warehouse would have shot me."

She looked elsewhere and cleared her throat. "I didn't do it for you. That fucker was trying to kill us."

"Well, whatever the reason was, thank you."

"Anything else?" I shook my head. "Good," she said and left.

The rest of the day dragged. Once we were done with dinner, I walked around; spent sometime with Leah and went to my spot. I was a loner by nature; at first it started out of choice but later it became a habit. A bad one to an outsider but it worked perfectly for me. When alone, I could think better and work out things in my head more clearly. I sat down and the first thing I did was to let my hair down. I rarely did and that was only when I was showering. I missed having my hair loose. I smiled. Chris loved my hair; as a baby, after I fed him, I would rock him slowly to sleep and he in return would clench a small lock inside his tiny hand. Up to now he still did it.

I lit a cigarette and sighed. I really needed to think what I would do after the tour was over. When I return to US I'll be reassigned for a couple of months and during those two months I have to decide whether I'd re-enlist or not. I love my job but I miss my family. I managed to save some money before my babies arrived, plus I had the trust fund Nana Marie had set for me upon my birth. Even though I repeatedly asked my parents not to spend their money on my kids they did. I had always wanted to open a small bookstore; it had been my dream since puberty.

"_Daddy, I know what I want to do when I'm finished with school."_

"_Hm… and what would that be?"_

"_I want to buy the little shop under Mrs. Jones building; the one around the corner? I will make it into bookstore," I said excitedly. "When I need a book, Mom always has to drive me to Port Angeles. It will be magical. The outside will be light gray and on the inside, the walls will be lilac with tints of gray and black. I will reserve a small corner for coffee and a couple of tables. Maybe Mom will agree to make a few cupcakes and muffins every now and then."_

_Even though I couldn't see him, I knew that he was smiling. "And what will you call it?"_

"_Whispers," I giggled. _

"_Whispers?" he asked. _

"_Uh huh," I nodded as if he was in front of me, "because every book whispers its own message to those who read it."_

_He sighed. "I miss you so much baby girl."_

"_I miss you too Daddy." I sniffled. "Two more weeks and then you'll be back."_

If I decided to leave the Marines, I could attend the community college in Port Angeles, obtain a degree in Business Management and open my bookstore. I could buy a two story house, near my folks and live there with my bugs and hopefully Leah. I would make sure it had a _fenced _back yard –preferably with barbed wires- with lots of space for her to run and play with my babies. I could reserve a small area to plant flowers and herbs. Maybe Sammy would build a small playground.

I missed my cousin a lot. Whenever Dad deployed, Mom and I would always go to Forks. It was nice to have a big family. Until she came into our lives it was only me and my father but once she did, I had uncles, aunts,a grandfather that spoiled me rotten, and cousins. It never bothered Pop's or any other in the family that we were 'pale faces'. The heart was all that mattered and according to them, we were family.

"_I envy you," Edward said. "I never had a big family. My mother is an only child and my father had an older brother, Uncle Jared. I have a cousin, Kate. She's married to a dear friend and colleague and they have two little boys. That's it."_

"_I can relate with you," I said sadly. "My mom came into our lives when I was six years old so until then it was just the two of us. It's good to have a big and caring family but sometimes it can be overbearing when all of them decide to mingle," I giggled and he smiled. "Back then, when Dad got the news of his deployment to Germany, everything happened so fast. He took a week off and flew us to Seattle. Within a week, he proposed and got married to Mom. He became the 'pale warrior' and I the 'pale princess.'_

"_Pale warrior?" he chuckled._

"_Oh yeah," I snorted. "And he fucking loves it."_

"_Can I ask you a personal question?" _

"_Sure."_

"_Do you want more children?"_

_I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know. I haven't really thought about it."_

"_What if you got married one day?" he asked looking at the desert._

"_Not every man can accept a woman with baggage. I mean, don't get me wrong. There are men and women who give no shit about it but it's hard to believe when their own f…" _

I was so close to telling him about Marcus the night of my birthday. Would he understand? Would he judge me?

'_He already did without knowing so what makes you think that he won't now?'_

Edward was a man that made me to want to forget what Marcus put me through. I was falling in love with him but I had made a promise and that promise would stay unbroken. I knew that he was nothing like him. He was special in every essence of the word. Dad was right; I had to tell Edward. I had spent the last ten days, trying to find any reason for me not to tell him about Marcus but I couldn't. No matter how much I tried, I knew that Edward reacted the way he did out of surprise and anger. It had been a very stressful day for all of us- emotional and physical.

My mother came to my mind…

"_Mom, it hurt to hear him say those things," I whispered. "I thought he was different."_

"_Can I ask you something?" I nodded. "How much do you like Edward?" I bit my lip. My answer was evident apparently because Mom let a small squeal and clapped her hands. "Never mind, I got my answer. Baby, you may be top notch as a marine and a mother but in the matters of love you're dumb just like your father."_

"_I'm not," I exclaimed._

"_Yes you are. You've only had three boyfriends' sweetie; one in high school, one in college and the one who-must-not-be-named. I don't need to mention that none of them lasted more than eight months." I huffed. "Don't huff at me Isabella Marie Swan!"_

"_I'm not that ignorant!"_

"_I'm not saying you're ignorant. I'm saying that you are inexperienced in the matters of love. Now zip it and listen to me," she glared. "Name a couple of reasons of why you like him." _

_I hunched my shoulders and lit a cigarette. "He's funny, attentive, kind. Wise, firm when he needs to. He loves his parents and he craves for a family of his own. When we used to have our talks, he brought out the girl that's in me, you know? I got flutters in my stomach and every day I wanted it to be night already so I could see Edward and not my First Sergeant. He makes me wonder how he'd be with Chris and Lizzie."_

"_I saw how he acted around my grand-monkeys. They won't shut up about him; Mr. Soldier this, Mr. Edward that. I have a handful of drawings they made for him. Lizzie's are all hearts and sparkles and Chris's show football games and stick figures holding hands. Lizzie is smitten with him and Chris," she paused and looked elsewhere._

"_Chris what Ma?"_

_Her lip quivered. "Chris asked Charlie if he could ask Edward to take him to school next time he visited because he's the only boy that is without a daddy."_

_I gasped loudly. "What?"_

"_Baby you should have seen how he looked at the bugs. I'm not saying these things in order to change your mind. I'm trying to point out that maybe, just maybe, you should give this whole situation a second thought. Children have a sixth sense. They know who deserves things and you two, sweetheart, do. You don't have to take his hand and run into the sunset. Just talk to him baby. Tell him about their father and your fears. Edward is a man that will understand and let me tell you something you don't know. That man, when he wants something… he gets it and you will let him simply because you deserve it and secondly because he's the only one your daddy won't chase away," she giggled._

I opened a can of soda, took a sip and looked briefly at the second one I had brought. This was the second time I had brought two sodas with me. The first time was the day of our mission in Abu Ghraib. Deep down I wanted him to seek me out that night. Tonight wasn't any different. I prayed to God that he would because I had missed him. I missed Edward; I missed our morning coffee with Emmett's lame jokes.

Emmett… that man was a gem. After my fight with Edward, I couldn't sleep… and neither could Emmett. Ever since, we would have our coffee together and when it was time he would make a cup for Edward and take it to him. Emmett was a good man with a big heart. He really thought that they were becoming friends and it really hurt him that Edward wasn't sharing his feelings. I tried to make him understand that Edward was really stressed that day and that he didn't mean to act the way he did but it was pointless.

I closed my eyes and imagined the bugs, Charlie and me, at our fishing spot down at the lake in Forks. Deep Purple would croon lowly from our antique radio tape while Dad would try to teach my babies how to hook the bait on the rod. I started humming Soldier of Fortune. It was Charlie's favorite song and the one he taught me how to dance to. I took a drag from my cigarette and continued humming. It was then that I felt him before I even saw him. It was weird and fucking awkward to feel that way about a man I had met two and a half months ago. No matter how much I wanted to explore those feelings though, I wouldn't. I took a deep breath and started talking.

"In 2006 I was transferred to Camp Lejeune in North Carolina. It was hard because it would be the first time I'd been alone. Dad had been transferred to San Diego. There were thousands of people there but I felt so lonely and scared," I said. "The first couple of months I was like a robot: wake up, go to work, come back from work, sleep and repeat. Some of my colleagues called me a hermit when they thought I wasn't listening. But I did… every single time. One day Linda, a Corporal at the time, approached me and said that a couple of people would be going to a bar later that day," I paused.

It was really painful for me to talk about it because no matter what happened I really fell in love with Marcus. Edward listened patiently and never interrupted me. I knew that he had questions and yet he never voiced them. When he wrapped his arms around me, I felt so relieved and secure but no matter how innocent that gesture was; in my eyes it felt wrong. However I let him… just for tonight.

The one thing, I wasn't prepared for though, was when he kissed me. You know, that shit in chick flicks where the male lead kisses the female lead and her leg pops up? Yeah, I thought it wasn't real too but I was mere seconds from doing so. Our lips just stayed locked but it was enough for me to really know that I was deeply in love with him. It felt dangerously right.

"No," I gasped.

"Yes, Bella," he said passionately and held me tighter. "I feel so much more than the words of anger I told you in my office. I know your reservations and fears but I'm nothing like him."

Fuck! No I couldn't do it. I knew he was sincere but it would be for the best.

"I know… and that's what scares me the most." I pushed him back gently and stood up. "I made a promise to myself, Edward, and I'm not going to break it. I'm sorry."

I didn't get to the chance to go far. Edward caught me quickly. He wrapped his arm around my waist and the other was wrapped around my shoulders. He pulled me to him and rested his forehead on my head.

_Please just let me go…_

"Don't ignore or deny this thing between us," he whispered gently. I closed my eyes. "I won't pursue you now, but be sure the moment we're done here," he paused and buried his nose into my hair, took a deep breath and hummed. _Did he just sniff me?_ "I'm coming after you. I want you more than anything and Bella?"

"Y-yes?" I stammered.

He brought his mouth next to my ear. "I always get what I want."

Fucking Christ!

"You won't," I said and got out of his hands. I turned to look at him. "By the time we step on U.S soil, I'll be in a different unit. I know there is something here Edward, believe me I do. But I don't want it. I like the way my life is."

A small smile graced his handsome face. "You're lying. We both know you are. We have four months left until we're done here. I made a promise and I swear I'll keep it. I know you'll be getting transferred," he continued. "And I know that you won't be getting far. I handle those papers and you know it," he sighed. "The last thing I want is to scare you off with my persistence. I just want you to think about the possibility of an 'us' when we get back."

"No." I started walking away from him.

"No matter how much you refuse it, this thing will be there tomorrow and the day after," he called. I stopped dead in my tracks. He started walking until he was a few inches in front of me. "Oh-four-hundred, in my office, with coffee and tell Snuffy I've got cookies."

**~Ж~**

When the three of us met in Edward's office a few hours later, things were awkward. Emmett refused to address Edward other than by his rank. However, he realised that the game was over when Edward revealed two containers full of cookies: peanut butter chocolate chip –Emmett's favourite- and cranberry chocolate chip cookies.

"These are for you," Edward said and placed the container in front of Emmett.

Snuffy licked his lips, eyed Edward first and then the cookies. "All of them?" Edward nodded and smiled gently. Fucking gorgeous!

"Why?"

"Because I owe you an apology." His sincerity was evident. "I shouldn't have talked to you that way Emmett. You were trying to get things off my mind and I was rude even though I knew why you were doing it." Emmett looked outside the window, just when the sunrise begun. "I'm not perfect Emmett, I'm known for my short temper, especially under stress."

Em sighed and looked back at Edward. "I understand that but you need to tame it. The only thing that saved you from a decking was the fact that you're the SFC and nothing more," he scowled.

Edward nodded. "Thank you. Bella, today you'll do only a three mile run. After you're done send Stanley to me. I need to talk to her."

What the fuck did she do now? "Okay," I said. "Anything else?"

"We're good for now," he smiled. "Black wants to see us at ten hundred. From what I was told, it's not something pressing; just a small briefing."

Once PT was done, I let Jessica know that Edward wanted to talk to her. Her body went rigid and right before she left; she glared at me as usual. I had at most a couple of hours before I met with Edward and a shower seemed nice. I tried not to think about the things that transpired between us hours before but it was fruitless. The way his lips felton mine… I shook my head lightly and dried myself off.

Jordan was stepping out of Leah's cage when I rounded the corner. He smiled at me when he saw me. During the past ten days we had come to some sort of agreement: I would help him build a relationship with Leah and in return, he would give me an hour with her every day. He reached for her leash from inside his pocket and handed it to me.

"I would have taken her for a run today but apparently someone is moody," he chuckled.

"I'll do it." When I took the leash from his hand, Leah sat up and started waggling her tail on the ground. Jordan shook his head. "What?" I feigned surprise.

"Just don't give her any sugary crap," he grumbled.

"Do you see me holding anything?"

"You know what I mean, Swan."

I giggled and opened the cage. "Don't worry."

We walked for about five minutes and I took her to a makeshift baseball field the men had set. I grabbed a small branch and threw it as far as possible. Leah barked playfully and ran after it. After several rounds of running back and forth, I walked her to my spot and sat down. She sighed and rested her head on my lap.

"You know," I started. "Until I saw you, never before had I considered adopting a dog. My babies are going to love the shit out of you."

"_If you'd never attended medical school or enlisted, what do you think you'd be doing?" I asked._

_He smiled and sighed. "Peter and I played instruments: he played drums and bass and I electric guitar and piano. We made a spit pact back them." He scrunched his nose._

"_That's disgusting," I chuckled._

"_We had already done the blood pact when we were six so it was the only thing we would think of," he said looking into the far distance._

"_What happened?"_

"_We fell of a tree and both of us scratched our hands but Peter also broke his ankle so I tried to carry him through the three yards that separated our houses. I made a small stop at some point because I got tired. Peter me why I was helping the colored boy. I told him that he was my brother because we played together all the time and went to the same school. We shook our scratched hands and we had our pact. We would always watch out for each other." He smiled sadly. "We did almost everything together. Hell, we even went to the same diner when we started dating. He took his Maria and I took Sarah- same day, same time. We joined the Marines together."_

"_Apart from my cousins and Alice, I had no friends," I said wistfully. "You're so lucky to have a friend like him."_

"_Not anymore."_

"_What?"_

"_Peter is dead." I gasped. "But that story is for another day."_

"_Tell me about the spit pact?"_

"_We would either become rock stars," he laughed, "or go to college to become music teachers." We stayed silent for several minutes. "I've considered it you know," he said suddenly, startling me. "Retire and make our dream come true but I didn't have the heart to do it… not without him." His voice shook with emotion. "Sometimes I wonder why him and not me."_

"_Edward," I whispered._

"_He had his life mapped out when I only had my parents. He wanted to get married and give his girl everything. In his eyes and to the rest of the world, Mama Carmen was his queen and Maria his princess. He loved them so much. He planned on doing this for twenty years, save up as much as possible and build her a house in Mexico. "_

"_Do you think he would want you to think like that?" I asked. _

"_I can't help myself, Bella. That bullet had my name on it not his; that fucking bullet would have ripped my throat in half had he not pushed me away. Peter is dead because of me and my fucked up idea that nothing could get me. That motherfucker pushed me and it was his throat that got ripped," he said and a strangled sob left his mouth. I got on my knees and hugged him tightly to me. "I miss him so fucking much."_

"_I know," I told him soothingly._

"What the fuck am I going to do Leah? I believe that his feelings are genuine but I can't go back and become the shell I was. What if things don't work between Edward and me? I have my babies to think about. I want to be selfish for once; dive in and see where it takes us but…"

"There is no but," I heard a soft voice say. I yelped and turn to see Rosalie as she sat down next to us.

"Don't scare me like that ever again," I huffed.

She giggled. "I was just passing by and I heard you." I sighed. "I know you have to go to the Colonel so I'll be short. If you think that he's worth it; then go for it."

"It's not that simple Rose."

"You make it difficult. I've seen how he looks at you, Bella. I don't know what happened to you nor am I asking you to tell me. Men like First Sergeant are difficult to find and I've come to this conclusion from the short time I've known him. Just think about it. Life is too short to follow all these rules, what ifs and fears; especially in our line of work. Don't hold back if you want him. You can be with each other if that's what you want."

I chewed my lip and said nothing. I knew she was right in my heart but my mind was screaming no. "I can't."

"You're so stubborn," she shook her head.

"Whatever, Rose."

"I see you more like a sister, Bella. Yes, you are my superior but both of us know that you never made us feel inferior. I'm telling you all this because I love you and I want you to find happiness." She patted my shoulder and stood up. "Time to go and bug Stanley. I heard Colt caught the bitch playing jack rabbit with Newton. Poor guy was scarred for life."

**~Ж~**

"Restrain her, Cullen," Black grumbled.

"I already called her to my office earlier today and gave her an earful," he chuckled and I snorted. "What else can I do, Sir? Tie her down or put a chastity belt on her?"

"Trust me when I say that she would find a way to have sex even with the belt."

Jake cracked his fingers and made me cringe. I hated it when did that. He drank a sip from his coffee and lit a cigarette. "So, Swan," he smirked. "Have you talked with your kids recently? How are they?" Edward stiffened and out of the corner of my eye I saw him looking straight ahead. I wish I knew what he was thinking.

I glared at Jake and he, in return, graced his face with a lopsided smile. "I did, yesterday," I started, leaned back on my chair and crossed my hands over my chest. "Lizzie is good. Chris on the other hand…"

"What's wrong with Chris?" Edward asked concerned. His sudden interest took me by surprise and Jake narrowed his eyes at him briefly and then looked at me.

"He's fine now," I continued. "You see, _Sir,_" I emphasized, turning my attention back to Jake. "A little _heathen_ helped him climb a tree to prove a point. He ended up getting hanged by his suspenders for five minutes until my father managed to get to him." I could see that the fucker was trying really hard not to laugh. "His mother grounded him but when I get there I _will_ make sure that he won't be able to sit on his ass for a couple of days."

"Did he get hurt?" Edward asked.

"No, Sir." I smiled at him. "He didn't even get scared. He did however when Charlie got him."

"They're just kids, Swan," Jake said.

"I don't care. That little shit should have known better. What would have happened if his suspenders broke and he fell on his face, hm? he could have cracked his skull open or even worse, broke his neck," I seethed. "Just because he's a bit older doesn't mean he gets to manipulate and tease my boy by calling him a girl," I fired and he groaned. "Last time I checked he had a dick and two balls. I don't like to chastise my kids just because others don't have a filter, not to mention the fact that this whole ordeal was a stupid dare."

"How old was the little fucker?" Edward asked angrily and I widened my eyes slightly. Jake on the other hand looked… amused?

"Ten," I said. "But he looks thirteen."

Edward huffed. "Chris is only five. What was that stupid kid thinking? He could have been hurt."

"Well he's not, Cullen," Jake said. "What's it to you anyway?"

"I've met both of her kids, Sir, on my way here and I've come to… like them," he said after a small pause. "Lisa is sweet and so innocent. She's able to steal your heart and mind just with a simple smile of hers," he smiled. "Chris is," he swallowed, "is curious. He will observe a person for some time and when he thinks it's safe to talk, he will. Some would say that he's reluctant but he's not." I was perfectly sure my jaw was hanging open. "He's just cautious as a child should be. His eyes are like mirrors to his souls. He may be a boy of few words but his eyes say millions of things," he finished, looking at the floor.

Jake cleared his throat and looked at me. "Yes… That's it for today. Swan, Colt is running short on staff since one medic is on leave so make sure you give him a hand when needed."

"Yes, Sir. I made sure to tell him so a couple of days ago."

"Cullen, I need the lists of supplies we're short on."

"I'm already half through it, Sir. I believe I'll be able to finish it if not tomorrow, then the day after."

"Good, good. You're dismissed."

The rest of the day went by smoothly, as always. Sometimes it could get really boring here if you didn't have anything to do. I had finished the book Dad sent me and I had yet to start reading the one Mom did. Truth be told, I was never into young adult fantasy romance novels. I enjoyed more the mystery ones and classics. However this one actually intrigued me. It was about a girl named Lucinda; a seventeen year old girl that was legally transferred to a boarding school for troubled youth after the unfortunate death of her boyfriend. She never imagined how a teenage boy named Daniel, would change her life.

'_Just like Edward did with yours,_' my inner voice sang to me.

I frowned.

I cleared my head and started reading and became more engrossed as the story progressed. So far they haven't said I love you but one could feel it coming. It would be easy to think that the three main characters Luce, Daniel and Cam were involved in a love triangle but they weren't. Luce was confused because even though she knew that her whole being screamed Daniel, Cam intrigued her a lot.

"You missed dinner," someone called.

"Fucking Christ!" I yelled and the book flew from my hands. Edward chuckled and walked closer to me. "What day is it today? Startle the fuck out of Swan?"

Edward laughed loudly. "How the hell could I know that you'd be so focused on your book?"

"Well it's a fucking good book," I said matter-of-factly.

"Is it now?" he asked playfully and handed me a tray with food before he sat down. I gulped. He placed his right hand around my right side and turned his body so that his chest was flush on my forearm. Fuck! Why was he doing this? "What is it about?" he murmured.

"Um… I-it's about two teenagers that meet in some sort of reform school," I stammered.

"And?" he whispered really close to my ear.

_Could a woman come alone just with that? _

"They, eh, eventually fall in love."

"Uh huh," he skimmed his nose over my ear shell. "Sounds interesting; please keep going."

Why couldn't I move away from him?

"Lucinda… she…ah… Jesus," I whispered as I felt his lips ghosting over my temple. "She has suspicions about what Daniel is." He stopped and pulled back a little. I turned my eyes on him. Edward brushed his thumb over my cheekbone and stared into my eyes. He leaned forward for a second, closed his eyes and with a light shake of his head, leaned back.

"Are you reading _Fallen_?"

"Huh?"

He chuckled and pushed his body completely away from mine. "I asked if you're reading _Fallen_."

"You know the book?" The surprise in my voice was evident.

He snorted. "My mother made me read the series as a belated present for mother's day," he rolled his eyes, "since I forgot the most important day in the whole world. I yet have to read the final book."

"Did you like it?"

"Eat and I'll tell you," he smiled. My god even his smile was perfect. "I think that the first book was kind of predictable- however, the second and third not so much; especially the third one."

"Mmhmm," I hummed as I inhaled my noodles.

"Mostly it's about what one can do to be with his true love; his soulmate. The measures that need to be taken and the sacrifices he has to make in order to achieve that. There were moments where I really cursed at Daniel- no matter how _girly_ that sounds- and there were others where I said that he was a smooth motherfucker," he chuckled.

"Thank you for dinner," I murmured, wiping my mouth

"You're welcome," he said and offered me a cigarette. "Bella?"

"Yes?"

"How close are you with Black?"

I groaned internally. "Edward…"

"Just asking out of curiosity."

"Not close," I lied. He knew I was lying but he let it go since he realized that I wouldn't tell him.

We continued to chat for some time about different things. One of those things was that he was a hard core fan of the Mariners. I knew I loved him for a reason!

'_Love?_'

Fucking hell!

"My father still holds a grudge on Major about it."

"Oh?"

"Oh yeah," he chuckled. "He converted his only son, not to mention that his blood pressure rose to heaven and beyond when he saw the Christmas gift my mother got me last Christmas. It's the Mariners baseball card collection from 1977 to date."

"Will you show it to me?" I asked and instantly regretted it.

_So much for staying away from him, Swan. _

"I'll show you anything you want, Bella."

"What are we doing, Edward?" I asked in no more than a whisper.

He smiled lazily at me and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "Nothing more than getting to know each other, sweetheart. I promised you."

"It's getting late," I said and rose from the ground. It wasn't even nine thirty but I had to leave. His intense gaze made me feel uncomfortable.

"Okay." He sounded disappointed. "I'll walk you to your rack."

We made a brief stop at the mess hall to dispose of my tray and resumed our silent walk. We didn't feel the need to say anything. He knew my limits and didn't push them. I had no idea though how long it would last though.

_I won't pursue you now but be sure the moment we're done here, I'm coming after you._

Sweet Jesus.

"You should stop bitching about her, Jess," I heard a voice say. Both Edward and I stopped walking.

Stanley snorted. "Why should I do that? She's not a saint. She started this whole shit, not me. If she minded her own damn business nothing would have happened."

"Jessica, we both know that you had no business with that First Lieutenant. It's against regulations to b…"

Stanley cut her off. "I just wanted to fuck him, Hale. Not marry him."

"Come on," Edward whispered in my ear. "Let's go the other way." My glare was enough for an answer. I started walking toward them.

"I know who I am," she continued. "I like to fuck. Is that a crime? If I wanted the goddamned American dream, don't you think I could have had it by now? Why do you think I had an abortion? I'm not mom material."

Rose gasped. "You had an abortion?"

"My body, my decision. Is that a motherfucking problem too?"

By now only a few inches separated us. I only had to round the corner.

"A baby is a blessing," Rose choked. "How could you do that?"

"Fuck off, Hale. No one has the right to judge me for that. The pregnancy was a mistake. I'm not virgin Swan. She could go fuck herself for all I care."

Edward hissed lowly next to me. He made a step to reveal himself but I held him back. She needed to learn a lesson and she would… tonight.

"She calls me a whore but what about her? Does she even know who the father of her bastards is?"

Within a flash I turned around, grabbed her throat and smashed her on the wall. All I saw was red. I tightened my grip, pulled her forward and pinned her again.

"You talk shit about my babies again and I'll fucking kill you, you stupid cunt," I seethed as she tried to claw my hand. I felt an arm being wrapped around my waist, pulling me back. That bitch kneeled and started coughing her lungs out. I was about to pounce when Rose came in front of me, blocking my way. "Let me go!"

"Bella," Edward whispered. "If I let you go, she will file a complaint against you and you'll be in trouble. Let me handle this, please," he begged.

"Listen to him," Rose murmured.

"I will end you," she coughed and looked at Edward. Bitch was infecting him just by looking at him. "I want to report her."

"You won't report her," he said firmly.

"You were here, you saw that she tried to kill me," she said and another set of coughing started.

"It wasn't unprovoked and I stopped it before it got out of hand."

"You can't do that!"

"I can and I will. On what base are you going to do it? For all I know, Hale and you were gossiping like old fucking hags about a third party, completely forgetting the fact that she's a higher rank. Are you prepared to go in front of the CO and repeat the vitriol you just spewed?" he snarled. She opened her mouth but he cut her off instantly. "Be very cautious of the words that will come out of your fucking mouth Corporal. Report this incident and I swear you'll wake up as a Private and have you dismissed in no time. Do I make myself clear?" She didn't respond. "I asked you a fucking question Corporal."

"Crystal." She glared at me one last time and then she was gone.

My head was throbbing like never before. I felt my shoulders start shaking and I started crying. My God if I was treated like that for being a single mother, I dreaded the time of how my babies would be treated when they grew older.

"Bella, she's not worth it," Rose said with a shaky voice, turned around and left.

"Please," I choked. "Let me go."

"Never," Edward said and held me tighter.

* * *

_**A/N:**_

_**Yeah…. *smirks***_

_**My sincere apologies for delaying the chapter. Sister-in-law and her spawns came from Holland for vacations and had to entertain them. On top of that, my mother stopped working due to health issues and I had to take care of her. I hope you'll understand if the chapters are delayed for a bit. Family always comes first. **_

_**May the souls of those who died eleven years ago, rest in peace. Up to day I cry every year with the memorial videos they show on TV.**_

_**Did you like the chapter? Hope you did 'cause I really enjoyed writing it. Kudos to two readers who managed to catch the B/J thing, lol. You'll know who you are when you actually read that part… *grins***_

_**Anyways… how many of you want to tear Jess apart? *chuckles darkly* I have big plans for her. **_

_**Before I end this A/N I want to rec a story…**_

_**Ghostly Double **by** DreamofRob10**_

_When you're young, you imagine living in a fairy tale life, well, my name is Bella Swan and when I was sixteen, I found out there were more to life than your everyday job, school and going out to have fun. I found out about Vampires, Wolves and Witches...all by turning a corner at school. Rated M...Can be Angsty at times. Mild Violence._

_**Rated: Fiction M - English - Supernatural/Drama - Bella & Edward - Chapters: 10 - Words: 49,454.**_

**Good read and it makes your mind spin sometimes…**

**Thanks for reading…**

**Cejsmom, Monique, a simple thank you will never be enough…Oilily, danke! **

**You'll find me on Facebook as Penelope Griva and on Twitter as MrsECullenPen.**

**By clicking the magical button that says 'Review this chapter' will bring you closer to your update and of course you'll get your teaser…**

**Until next time…**

**Pen…**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.**

* * *

_**Previously…**_

"_Crystal." She glared at me one last time and then she was gone. _

_My head was throbbing like never before. I felt my shoulders start shaking and I started crying. My God if I was treated like that for being a single mother, I dreaded the time of how my babies would be treated when they grew older. _

"_Bella, she's not worth it," Rose said with a shaky voice, turned around and left. _

"_Please," I choked. "Let me go."_

"_Never," Edward said and held me tighter._

* * *

**Chapter 8**

* * *

**EPOV**

* * *

"Enter," I called.

I didn't have to look up to see who it was; I was expecting her. One would think that being a First Sergeant was relatively easy. It wasn't. I had to make decisions that would make some people happy and some not. Well, today was the latter. I took a glance and saw that she was standing at full attention. I resumed finishing my document on my computer. I wanted her to feel unease; I needed her to know that I was incharge.

I saved my document and shut off the computer. I leaned back on my chair and folded my hands in front of me. She didn't move. Her breath started getting short which meant that she was starting to feel uncomfortable and for some reason I enjoyed it.

_Sadistic much? _

"If it were on me, I'd have thrown you out long ago." I made sure to be as firm as possible. "It's been three months since I got here and I've only found trouble where you're concerned." Her biceps flexed. She was getting angry.

_Good._

"I made myself perfectly clear that I don't tolerate behavior like yours, Corporal. You have no idea how much I want to report you for conduct unbecoming. I do, but I won't, yet. You can thank Staff Sergeant Swan for that. You may be good at what you do Stanley, but sometimes it's not enough. You make sure you remember that. Colonel Black wanted to transfer you after your escapades with Sgt Newton and yet again SSgt Swan was the one who pointed out how valuable you are in this unit." Her face was a dangerous shade of red which indicated that she was about to lose control. Everyone knew how she felt about Bella and hearing that she was the one that saved her ass... "Yesterday you had the audacity to threaten your superior about 'ending her' in front of Hale and me. Take this brief meeting as a warning, Corporal. My eyes are on you." I got up and started sorting the papers in front of me. "You're dismissed."

"Sir," she said and I traced a hint of hiss in her voice. I glared at her.

"I suggest you take my advice and pay a visit to the punching bag. You seem… tense." Without another word, she turned and left my office.

I shook my head in disappointment. I should've ripped her a new one. Had it not been for Bella, I would have done it long ago. I would have written a report and handed it over to the Colonel. Then she'd be at his mercy. After Bella calmed down yesterday I told her that I would report her. She shot out of my arms and begged me not to do it; that she knew that deep inside, Stanley was a good person who was once hurt by someone. I called her bullshit instantly and demanded to tell me the reason she didn't want me to do so. She said that everyone deserves a second chance.

**~Ж~**

I was sweating fucking bullets. I was getting too old for this shit. Running five miles with full equipment was a bitch. I tried not to pant like a dog but it was pointless. Not to mention the fact that at eight in the morning the temp was almost 42 F.

'_Quit smoking,_' my mind chastised.

I loved doing that shit. Smoking was a way of relaxation. I smirked as I walked to my rack. Had my mother heard that, she would've given me hell, maybe thrown her fluffy pink slipper at me. I fucking missed them so much. The past couple of days Bella and I have been talking a lot about our folks and silly things we used to do. My girl used to be wild.

'_Your girl?_'

Yes, fuck you very much- my girl; my Bella. I kept those endearments to myself because it was the right thing to do… at least for now. I promised her I would refrain from going after her here, but there was no way in motherfucking hell she'd be able to escape once we got back home. I wanted her, plain and simple.

"First Sergeant?" I heard someone call. I turned around and saw a Private approach. "This came for you sir." He handed me a package and I smiled at him.

"Thank you, Private."

With quick steps, I entered my office and closed the door behind me. I grabbed the letter opener and cut the duck tape. A letter was the first thing I saw. I took it out, sat down, lit a cigarette and opened it.

_**My sweet, adorable, enraging son.**_

_**Have you no mercy on your mother's poor nerves? What has the world come to? I haven't talked or seen you in almost a month Edward Anthony Cullen! Shame on you! **_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**Now that your mother left me in peace, I can start writing this letter. Don't mind her Son; you know how clingy she gets whenever you're overseas. **_

_**I hope you're okay. I know that you are and that makes me happy… relived is more like it. **_

_**I had a dream last night. You came home from Iraq and announced to us that you were leaving the Marines. Stupid, I know. You have no idea how I'm waiting for that day to come. I know this is your job and I accepted it a long time ago, but still. It's been twenty fucking years son. Don't you think that you've offered enough to this country? It's time to focus on your life. You're not getting any younger Edward!**_

_Thanks, Dad! _

_**FYI (I'm finally getting used to the acronyms youngsters dig!), I had a very nice phone call with a certain friend of mine, *smirks*. You see, he was very informative concerning his offspring.**_

"Did he, now?" I said out loud and sat straighter in my chair, intrigued like hell.

_**But I don't kiss and tell…**_

Fuck!

_**Anyway.**_

_**Kate sends her love and also told me to tell you that you're fucked when you get back. She was really pissed that she didn't get to see you when you were here. She visited with Garrett and the kids and we took pictures so you'll find them somewhere in the package.**_

_**What I'm about to say, is something that I've been thinking for a while now. You mother doesn't know anything so I'd like to keep it between you and me because if it slipped that you knew before her, she'd serve me my balls on a silver platter. You know how touchy she can't get. I've been thinking about retiring, Son. I've worked enough in my life and I think that it's time. I want to spend the rest of my remaining years with my girl. She's always wanted to visit Europe. Nothing is set in stone yet; just thinking about it. I've talked briefly about it with Kate and she agreed. Of course I reassured her that whenever she needs me, I'll be there and that I'll still have my shares in the company. Not to mention the fact that she'll have an extra help since Garrett got an accounting degree. We were surprised when he told us. **_

_**Apparently he was studying behind Kate's back. How he managed that with an infant and a toddler in the house, I've no idea. He graduated a week ago. By the way, he's retiring in five months. Kate and your mother nearly pissed themselves when he dropped the news. The last thing I heard Kate say to Esme was that she was keeping the kids for two days because she was going home to make a baby. Your mother squealed.**_

I chuckled. Kate loved children and she always wanted a big family.

_**So, how are things going with your lovely brunette? I hope that you took our advice and went after her. You deserve to be happy my boy and if you think that this woman might give you what my Es does for me then you'd be a fucking moron if you didn't. You've got the skills son; put them in action. I know that this woman must be something else to make you feel like that.**_

_**Before you look inside the box, I must warn you that your mother, as a form of punishment, sent you the last book of that pussy series she made you read. She also said that she will ask you about it so unfortunately you have to read it, I'm sorry. The manila envelope at the bottom holds um… some testosterone reliever magazines. I may not have served but I do know how bad a case of blue balls can get. **_

I threw my head back and started laughing loudly. Others may have been embarrassed or even disgusted but I loved those little things my father would do or say. I knew most of the time it was mostly for teasing purposes but I couldn't bring myself to do anything else but laugh.

_**Especially with a hot bombshell like Staff Sergeant Isabella Marie Swan. **_

_Huh?_

_**You are perfectly fucked with that one, kiddo. Sue showed us a picture of her the other day through Skype and I have to admit that if I didn't have my hellcat I would have gone after her. She is sensational. **_

"Jesus," I said to myself.

_**Of course when your mother said that you two would make a cute couple- in front of the Major mind you- that poor man nearly had a coronary. I'm afraid he didn't know you'd called dibs on his baby girl. Blame your mother for that one. I have a tiny suspicion though that this development wasn't new to him. Ya think his girl talked to him about you? **_

"Fuck."

_**As I mentioned earlier, I don't kiss and tell. **_

_**Charlie invited us to Forks for Christmas. It was really nice of him, but we had to decline. We know that his girl is going to be there and since you won't come until the end of February, we thought to let them enjoy their vacation as a family. I know that I wouldn't want anyone to interfere with our time with you. We did, however, make plans for Spring break. Those angels of hers are gonna be out of school so we'll spend the week at a beach named La something. I can't recall the name. Your mother already planned the meals we're gonna eat and the cookies she's gonna make. Would that interest you enough to consider joining us? *wiggles eyebrows* Do I need to mention the possibility of a certain brunette being there?**_

_**I expect your fucking ass to be there and don't you even dare to spew that shit about not being able to get some time off. God only knows how many days of leave you've got piled up. **_

_**Tomorrow I'm scheduled for a full check up. Not looking forward to the prostate exam. You need to have one when you get back… a full check up that is. We have to make sure that your body is working correctly. Cholesterol is a nasty bitch and you know it better than anyone. **_

"Fucker," I huffed. Why did he have to remind me of that?

_**I need to get going. I have to take the package to the post office. Mama sent you fifteen pairs of socks so throw away the ones you have. She also sent you a couple of boxers. When I asked her why she didn't add more she said that you could always go commando just in case you wanted to air the boys and that ladies find it 'libidinous'. I swear to God there are still coffee stains on the wall. Of course I took her advice and let me tell you that it really works, especially the latter. **_

"Good one Mama." I wiped a tear from my cheek. Mom may be all ladylike but when she opened her mouth she did it and no one could stop her.

_**Also -shirts, undershirts and a pair of flannel pajamas. Don't ask me why she sent them; I've no idea. Razors, shaving foam, a couple of Advil pills and catch this… condoms; also courtesy of her. She said that you're a man and they might come handy in a time of need. (I don't know what's going on with her. Ever since you told us about that pretty little thing of yours she's been acting like this.)**_

_**You make sure the container with the cookies is well hidden because your mother swore the next batch she'll make for you is when you come home. **_

_**Aside from the teasing and all that shit, know that I love you very much and please, please stay safe. **_

_**Dad & Mom.**_

_**P.S I didn't send any porn. However, I did send some ointment that prevents calluses. Use it on both hands!**_

I swear I hadn't laughed so much in my life. I set the letter aside and started taking out the things in the package when I heard a knock on the door.

"Come in," I called.

Bella came inside with a Private on her toes. She was pissed.

"Yes, SSgt Swan?"

"Sir, I'd like to report Private Wilson," she said has she glared at him.

"Why?" I asked and sat down on my chair.

"First Sergeant, after PT, I assigned four Privates to help clean the mess storage. Private Wilson didn't like it so when I left, he thought that it was his right to direct the other three men since he's older. When one of the men confronted him he implied that this was the order I gave him while we waited for them to arrive," she finished but I knew she was hiding something.

"Is that all?"

"Yes," she said and Wilson's shoulders relaxed for a second.

"Why do I have the impression that there is something else?"

"There is nothing else sir," she insisted.

I narrowed my eyes at her and shook my head. "Private Wilson, you'll be in charge of cleaning the mess hall for the next two weeks and also the storage… _alone_," I emphasized. "Once you're finished, you make sure the heads are shining. Next time something like this happens, you'll have a chat with the Colonel, am I clear?"

"Yes, First Sergeant."

"On your task, Private." He turned around and left while Bella stayed back since I hadn't dismissed her.

"Son of a bitch," she hissed and sank into the chair across from mine.

"Why did you cover for him?"

"Do I drag you from your balls?"

My eyebrows reached the hairline of my head. "Pardon me?"

She huffed in response.

"That little shit may have said to the other three that he could get away with it because apparently you seem to have taken a liking towards me and allow me to do as I please."

"Last time I checked, you were the one to do as I pleased, Staff Sergeant Swan." I chuckled.

"This is not funny, Edward," she snapped.

"Okay, okay," I said and raised my hands lightly. "Talk to Ateara. Wilson needs to build some muscle."

She snorted lightly and giggled. "Ateara may have mentioned that there are fifteen sacks of rice that need to be stored elsewhere."

"See, problem solved," I smiled and got up. I needed to touch her. I approached her, sat on my desk right in front of her and ran my thumb over her cheek. Her cheeks gained a hint of rosiness and I sighed.

"There's my favorite color."

"You need to stop," she said sadly.

"I'm not doing anything sweetheart."

"Yes you are." She stood up and stepped away from me.

_Challenge me more baby, I like it._

"You're making it so difficult," she complained and rubbed her forehead.

"Making what difficult?" I leaned back a bit and crossed my ankles.

"To stay away from you." I smirked.

"Then don't."

"You insufferable man," she hissed.

_Sexy…_

"You've called me worse." She raised her eyebrow. "Bella." I started walking toward her and she stepped back. Soon I had her trapped between the wall and my body. I ran my thumb from her temple to earlobe and then tugged it gently. I bit the corner of my lip as her eyes became a bit darker. "I'm only doing what a man is supposed to do when he likes a woman: I'm trying to woo her."

She looked down briefly, trying to suppress a giggle. "Woo? When were you born?"

"1969," I said matter-of-factly. "You don't like woo? How about court, entice, charm? Does knock you off your feet work? Hook up? Go steady?"

"Go steady? Court?" She raised her eyebrow.

"Why yes, Pale Princess."

She slapped my forearm. "Jerk."

"Oh well," I feigned hurt. "Since I'm a jerk I may as well act like one." I went back to my desk, sat down, and took out the container with the cookies. She narrowed her eyes.

"You wouldn't."

I grabbed a cookie and smelt it. "Oh, Mama," I moaned, closed my eyes and took a bite. I chewed slowly and once I swallowed it I saw that Bella was sitting on the left side of my desk. "Chocolate mint."

"Uh huh," she said and leaned forward, bringing her face closer to mine. "They smell delicious, Edward."

"They do."

She glanced briefly my mouth. "How can you be so cruel?" She licked her lips.

"Cruel?" My heart started beating a bit faster. If she didn't stop I would pounce.

"Yes, cruel," she pouted. "Only a cruel man would deprive cookies from a girl." Our lips were a mere inches apart. As I moved forward she leaned back and stuffed her mouth with a cookie. Her evil smile was followed by a somewhat loud moan.

"You're a dangerous woman, Swan," I groaned.

"Whatever you say, First Sergeant." She leapt from the desk, grabbed at least three cookies, winked and left the office.

**~Ж~**

It was so fucking hot and cold at the same time; sweet Jesus. My feet were numb and my hands, so fucking cold. On top of that I couldn't breathe properly. It was as if someone had stuffed my nose and squeezed my lungs.

"First Sergeant," Whitlock called. "Are you okay, Sir?"

"Never been better."

I was so cold and we kept walking and walking- where, I had no idea at this point. Fuck, my head was pounding.

"Sir?"

Why do my legs hurt? "Yes, Hale?"

"With all due respect, you're not. You're sweating and you've been rubbing your temples. Do you want some Advil? I always keep one on me."

"I'm fine, Hale. Keep your pills."

I tried to crack my neck but it was so stiff. After what seemed like hours of walking, we returned back to camp. Bella had stayed behind because she fell on her back the previous morning and was complaining about being in pain. By the time we entered the camp, she rushed to us.

"How was patr…" she started and stopped suddenly. "Sir?"

My eyes were burning and I was shivering like a leaf. Not good.

"I'm fine, SSgt Swan," I said and turned to face the Squad. "Go get some rest and keep in mind the briefing at eighteen-hundred." I started walking toward my rack. I barely managed to put my things down before I fell on the bed.

_Sir?_

What was that loud noise?

_Knock the door down._

I tried to speak but no sound would come from my mouth.

_Jesus… He's burning. _

_Rosie…_

_Bella…_

_Medic…_

I felt someone lifting me and drifted back to unconsciousness.

**~Ж~**

I groaned and opened my eyes really slowly. It was dark. _Where the fuck am I?_ I looked around and saw Emmett sitting on a chair next to my bed. My hand was hooked up to a… drip?

"Emmett," I called. My throat was so raw.

"Edward," he grinned. "You're awake!"

"Water," I coughed. He passed me a bottle with a straw and I drank a couple of sips. "What happened?"

"You got the flu. Rose and I found you passed out on your floor yesterday. When you didn't show up for the briefing, we came to see what was wrong," he started. "You were burning up man. Bella lost her shit when she saw you like that. The medic came, took your temp and said that it was 104 F. I carried you here and you've been sleeping ever since."

"I'm sorry," I said and ran my finger through my hair.

He chuckled. "No need to. It was sort of funny."

"Funny?"

"Oh, yeah," he nodded. I flipped him off and he threw his head back and laughed.

"Can you get Bella here?" I asked.

"No. I barely managed to get her out of this room. She spent all her time here when she wasn't locked up in that office of yours."

"She did?" I wasn't surprised.

"Yes. I doubt she slept at all last night. I had to bring her something to eat. Edward, she didn't leave your side." I sighed. "Who're Lizzie and Chris again? I know I've heard those names before."

My eyes widened. "W-what?"

"You were hallucinating. You were saying things like out, leave, something about a fork or a knife; you called for your mother, Bella and last but not least you mentioned Lizzie and Chris," he finished.

_Shit. _"Was Bella here?"

He snorted. "Dude, even the freakin' Colonel was in the room."

"Fuck."

"Oh yeah. After you mumbled something about 'your Lizzie' the poor bastard had to sit down," he chuckled. "Ya know it's fucking weird. His reaction I mean. At first he was surprised; when he heard you call out those names he had to sit down, and then the next thing I know is that he stormed out of the room. Why would he do something like that?"

_Why the fuck indeed._

The door of the room opened really slowly and Bella poked her head inside. When our eyes met she beamed at me, stepped into the room and sat at the foot on my bed. She was exhausted; anyone could see that. I shook my head at her.

"What are you doing here? Go and get some sleep, Bells."

She glared at Emmett and punched his shoulder… hard.

"Ow! What was that for?" he complained.

"For not keep your trap shut asshole! Tell Colt he's awake and then go to Col. Black." She huffed and with a smile, she looked at me. "How are you feeling?"

"See ya later," Emmett said and left.

"As good as I can be," I said and coughed a little. Bella shot from the bed and grabbed the bottle of water from the nightstand.

"Drink," she ordered.

"Ooh, bossy," I smirked. "I like it."

"Drink!"

"Okay, woman," I laughed. I hummed when I felt the water going down my throat. Once she set the bottle back on the nightstand, she rested the inside of her forearm onto my forehead.

"You're a bit warm." She was concerned which was good, right? I closed my eyes and sighed.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I said and looked at her. "I almost never get sick and it throws me off when it happens."

"It's a reminder that you're still human, Edward." She placed her hand reluctantly on mine. "You scared me." Her tone was so soft that I barely caught what she said.

"Well, I'm better now," I cleared my throat.

She sighed and rubbed her thumb over my knuckles. "I have something for you." Her smile was blinding. She reached into the back pocket of her pants and took out a white flower printed envelope. "I got a small package today from home and I was _ordered_," she shook her head, "…to hand it over to you without opening it. Anyway," she said and stood. "I hope you're up for some chicken soup."

I winced. "You mean boiled water with chicken flavor."

She giggled. "No, I mean actual chicken soup; with chunks of chicken, potatoes, carrots and some celery. Don't ask how I found the celery. You, my Sir, will have the privilege of tasting a Swan special."

"I like the sound of that; Swan special," I smirked. "Any chance I might kiss the chef as a thank you?"

She smiled widely and leaned forward. "No."

"You sneaky thing," I hissed playfully and grabbed her forearm.

"Swan!"

We both jumped. My heart started pounding so fast that I thought I was having a heart attack. When the fuck did Black come into the room? Fucking hell!

"S-sir?"

"Out. Now!" She opened her mouth to say something but he didn't give her the chance. "Not a single word." The snarl in his voice was enough to force her to look down.

Bella gave me a side glance and exited the room without a word. Black walked to the window and looked outside. "How do you feel?"

"A bit out of place. I'm not used to feeling like this," I said truthfully.

He snorted. "You gave us quite a scare yesterday," he paused, "especially her."

Bella.

"I'm sorry sir."

"You'll be even sorrier if…"

"If _what_?" Now I was the one getting pissed. "What is this? A pissing contest?"

He turned around and his black eyes were hard and cold. He approached the bed and towered over me. "Don't take that fucking tone with me. I'm not scared of you, _Edward_. You have no idea what the fuck you're talking about and trust me you would be _humiliated_ if you knew. I'm gonna say this only once and be sure that it _will_ be only once. You fucking hurt her and I swear to God that even He won't be able to find you and I don't give a fuck who you know and if you are BFFs with Major General Swan!"

What the _fuck_?

"Are you threatening me, Colonel?"

"There is a big difference between threatening someone and warning him, First Sergeant. This is just a warning. You have no idea the things she went through and…"

"And you do?" I fired back.

"You think I don't? I know that woman inside out! She's m…"

Was he about to say she was _his_? Fuck no. I threw the blanket on the side and made a move to get up. Once the room started spinning I groaned and fell back. The door suddenly opened and a pale, panting Bella entered the room, holding a tray in her hands. She was shaking like a leaf.

"We're not done here, SSgt Swan."

She narrowed her eyes at him and raised her chin. "Yes you are! He's sick, Ja… _sir_. Now if you'll excuse us."

He marched toward the door and stopped in front of her, sniffing the air. "Seriously? The Swan special?"

How the fuck did he knew about the special?

She glared at him and whispered something to him. The only thing I got was something about rest. With an emotionless 'feel better' he left the room; leaving us alone.

"Fuck," she breathed and closed her eyes. "Sorry about him. I have no idea what crawled up his ass and died."

"I know," I huffed. "He's jea…"

"Edward," she shook her head and sat on the chair next to my bed. "It's not that."

"Then what the fuck is it? I've been trying to not push you to tell me, but that," I pointed to the door, "wasn't normal."

"The only thing I will say is that Black and I go way back. I promise to tell you one day, just not now."

I huffed like a petulant child and crossed my hands over my chest. I took a deep breath and my stomach reminded me that there was a heavenly smelling soup right in front of me. Bella snickered.

"You're such a man."

"You haven't heard me burp or fart yet."

"Ugh! You're disgusting."

I laughed and spooned some soup. I swear my moan must've been heard all over base. Hot or not I inhaled the damn thing within a minute and once I was done, I patted my stomach. I sighed happily.

"Marry me?"

She blushed and looked away…

_One day…_

**~Ж~**

When I finally managed to persuade Bella to go and get some sleep, I was left alone in the room. Emmett had stopped by a couple of hours before, bringing me the book Mom sent me, his iPod and a change of clothes- flannel pajamas to be exact. I guess Mom did good sending those. If I didn't have any fever in the morning, Colt would let me go, but only if I promised to rest for a couple of days before jumping back into duty.

Black didn't show his face again. Whatever Bella told him was enough. No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn't come up with anything else apart from the fact that he was interested in her.

_What if he isn't interested in her?_

Then what the fuck was it? Why was he so protective of her? Maybe he was friends with Major. Maybe they served together at some point? They were close in age. Colonel was forty-seven, married with children. I believed her when she says that they weren't together but what about him?

"Shut the fuck up," I moaned and rubbed my temples. I sat up and saw the envelope Bella brought me. I had yet to open it. I smiled and grabbed it from the night stand, admiring the colorful way my mane was spelt on it. One of the kids must have written it. I tore it open as carefully as possible and took out a small stack of papers and a card. The cover of the card had a smiling sun, flowers and two stick figures. The inside brought tears to my eyes. There was a photo of both kids smiling and saluting. Underneath the image there was a simple 'Thank you'. They were so beautiful.

I stared at the card for several minutes and then continued on with the papers. All of them were drawings. It wasn't difficult to understand which child drew which. Lizzie's were full of pink, yellow, purple and a fuck ton of glitter where Chris used more dark colors: black, navy blue, dark green- stick figures holding hands or playing football. Lizzie's had hearts, flowers and butterflies. Chris had written Mr. Edward on top of the big figure and his name on top of the small one. Mr. Soldier was written on Lizzie's. How I wished they were mine…

_One day…_

That night I dreamt of children's laughter; pushing a little, light blond haired girl on a tire swing and teaching a dark haired, little boy, how to play football.

**~Ж~**

The third day after I got sick, Colt released me, I was nothing but excited. It killed me to not be able to do anything. However, I enjoyed having a certain boss lady glaring and hissing every time I offered my help. Colonel didn't even bother to come looking for me since he made sure to have Emmett or Bella give him reports of my _wellbeing_. He did however request, the day I went back on duty, to have a chat.

"_Sit," he ordered without looking at me. He finished signing some papers and then he gave me his full attention. "Your color is back."_

"_I slept a lot."_

"_Good," he leaned forward on his desk. "SSgt. Swan is aware of the situation since she was in charge so I will fill you in. A couple of days ago a riffle team of 503rd Infantry, was attacked while patrolling on the outskirts of Al Habbaniya. Rumor has it that Iraqi wanted to attack a nearby base. Yesterday I received orders to help while the situation is under investigation. The area will be patrolled daily; noon to midnight will be our team and then the Infantry takes over. I believe that it will be calm since they are not stupid enough to attack the same area twice so soon."_

"_Okay, Sir," I nodded. "When do you want us to go?"_

"_The day after tomorrow."_

"_I will have the squad assembled and brief them."_

"_Perfect," he gave me –dare I say- a genuine smile and relaxed. _

"_Anything else?"_

"_She's important."_

_I didn't have to ask who. "I know."_

"_Not only to her family and this unit, but to me as well." I took a deep breath. "I know the signs when I see them, Edward."_

"_Signs?"_

"_Of falling in love. I was once in your position, but my situation was more… complicated," he sighed. "Sixteen years ago I fell deeply in love with a woman, a fellow Marine. She transferred into the unit I was in at the time and when I saw her for the very first time, the whole world stilled around me. I could see nothing else but her. There was a major problem though. I was a grade officer and she was an NCO."_

_Oh fuck._

_He chuckled. "Oh fuck, indeed. You have no idea how much we fought our feelings. We both loved our jobs but we also knew that the thing between us was stronger. So imagine my surprise when I returned for my leave only to find her gone."_

"_Why are you telling me all this? What does B… SSgt. Swan has to do with this?"_

"_My point is that _Bella_ knows what she wants, but she refuses to give into her feelings. She was truly hurt and I don't want that for her again." I nodded for now and told myself to think about this small tidbit of information later. _

"_I do have feelings for her, Sir, not that it is any of your business," _Shut the fuck up… now!_ "I let her know how I feel, but I also told her that I wouldn't do anything until we went home and her transfer was in motion. I know that she's going to be in a unit just half an hour drive from where I'll be."_

"_I'm afraid it's a bit late for that, don't you think?"_

"_Late for what exactly?"_

"_Not going after her. I know everything that's transpired between the two of you."_

"_Sir, I…"_

"_I debated with myself whether I should have her shipped now or not. Against my better judgment, I decided to let things stay as they are. We only have a couple of months left."_

"_Sir?"_

"_Whatever you two do, you do it out of sight."_

"_Sir…"_

"_I'm risking my head just by saying this, but I will do nothing about your small predicament."_

"_Sir…" I tried again to interrupt._

"_However, the minute one of you slips; she's gone. It's easier for me to ship her since she's so close to leaving."_

"_Sir!" I called forcefully. He cocked his eyebrow at me. "Nothing is going to happen while we are here. I made a prom…"_

"_I know and Charlie will have my head if he ever finds out about this situation."_

"_Why are you doing this? You could lose your job."_

"_Because I love her. That'll be all, First Sergeant."_

_In plain words he just told me to fuck off. I walked toward the door and as I was about to open it I turned around. "What happened to that NCO, Sir?"_

_He grinned like a Cheshire cat. "She resigned and a week later I married her."_

If only I knew what the day after tomorrow would bring.

Had I known what would happen, I would have never allowed her to come with us.

I wish I had spent more time with her than the borrowed moments between preparations.

I wish it was me and not my Bella.

* * *

**A/N:**

**The fandom recently suffered a great loss. October 5th, Just4Ale entered heaven's doors. She was the reason, I started writing; my sounding board for my first two stories. Ale was a breath of fresh air and pissed you to no end for valid reasons. *smiles nostalgically* She had a great sense of humor, loved Johnny Depp, the saga, her dogs, her job, her hubby. **

**When I started reading her 'American Vampire in Chicago' series, her writing captivated me. In a specific chapter my only review was a simple question: 'What the fuck did she just say?' That was the beginning of a cherished friendship. She was my beta, my friend, but most of all, sister at heart. **

**Note to heaven: you are one lucky son of a bitch to have her there.**

**I will always love you and thank God for bringing you into my life. Our weekly Saturday rendezvous on AIM to read Motu, UoEM and chat at the same time will be forever in my mind.**

**So… interesting chapter? Hope so, lol.**

**Just so you know brace yourself because the next couple of chapters are gonna be a bit of hard core, *smirks* A small info that I willingly share is that next chapter might be divided in both E/B POV's. How will I manage that, I have no idea. Another thing I have to clarify is the time frame: it's mid-November. **

**Two of you didn't get a teaser. Let me know who you are and you'll get a little more in the next one.**

**Cejsmom, Monique, thank you for what you're doing. Oilily, danke as well, lol. **

**The books that were mentioned in the previous chapter are the Fallen series by Lauren Kate. **

**You'll find me on Facebook as Penelope Griva and on Twitter as MrsECullenPen.**

**By clicking the magical button that says 'Review this chapter' will bring you closer to your update and of course you'll get your teaser…**

**Until next time…**

**Pen…**


	10. AN

Hello…

I know that I suck with my updates so blame RL and not me, lol… Mom started physiotherapies. I need to drive her aound and on top of that I need to look for employment, get ready for X-MAS and recover from Bronchitis…. Not to mention the fact that having no computer is a BITCH!

Anyway…

Since I have limited time in front of a computer I decided to post a teaser to appease some of you that think I gave up this story… I've never done such thing and never will. The chapter is done and the following one is half written- only typing is needed. Once my girls are done, my beta will take over…

Keep in mind that these wonderful ladies help me on their free time. They work and have families.

It's unedited so any mistakes found are my doing, lol.

Here's your teaser:

_Each group was walking with about 80 feet distance in between, not to mention the fact that a part of the dirt road had farms that most of them were unoccupied. Ten minutes__ into our march, I heard Garcia curse loudly. I turned around and saw him sprawled on the ground. His shoe lasses got loose so he tripped and fell._

"_And people call me clumsy," I laughed._

_Edward- being the very last in his group- heard him and turned around. "Everything alright?"_

"_Yes sir," Stanley called. "The pretty tripped and feel."_

"_Keep going," he instructed sternly. _

_Everything started without realizing it; one minute Garcia was walking with us and the next one he was on the ground screaming with pain as he clenched his knee. One shot was enough for a raid of bullets to start flying in every direction._

"_Take cover," Edward yelled._

Have yourself a very Merry Christmas and keep your fingers crossed for a New Year's Eve or a New Year update!

Until next time….

Pen….


	11. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. ****The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.**

* * *

_**Previously…**_

_If only I knew what the day after tomorrow would bring._

_Had I known what would happen, I would have never allowed her to come with us._

_I wish I had spent more time with her than the borrowed one between preparations. _

_I wish it was me and not… not my Bella._

* * *

**Chapter 9**

* * *

**Bpov**

* * *

"SSgt Swan," Rose called as she entered Edward's office. She was frantic. "It's First Sergeant." With that I bolted from my seat.

"What happened?"

"We went to his rack as you instructed, but when we knocked there was no answer. Emmett had to knock the door down and we found him on the floor passed out. He was burning up."

I went into his rack and found Colt examining him and a pale Emmett hovering above them. "Talk to me, Doc."

"104 F and there is some difficulty in breathing. I don't hear any hiss at the lungs so pneumonia or bronchitis is out. Nonetheless, I will put him on oxygen for a few hours to help him breathe better. If he wakes up and still has difficulty breathing, I will have to send him to Baghdad and have him admitted," he paused and I gasped lowly. "Most likely it's the flu so no need to worry," he turned to Emmett. "Can you get me a stretcher?"

"Fuck that shit." Emmett stood, threw Edward over his shoulder and left the room. I was glued to the spot.

"Bella," Rose called softly. I didn't respond. "Bella, snap out of it!"

"I'm sorry." I felt my voice breaking and cleared my throat. "Let's go to BAS and when we have something I'll go and inform Col. Black."

When we reached our destination we saw almost the whole squad gathered outside; only Stanley was missing. Without a word, I headed inside and a private pointed at the door where they had Edward. I entered without even knocking. Almost immediately, Jake came in too. Doc was hooking him up with a drip while Emmett stood on the other side of the bed, watching him like a hawk.

"All done," Colt sighed after he placed the nasal cannula.

"What happened to him?" Jake asked.

Colt started repeating what he told us so I shut him out. All I could see was the frail man on the bed. He was as pale as a dead man and the only thing indicating some sort of life in him was the slight color on his cheeks, because of the fever. I felt like crying. I knew it was probably nothing, but what if? He was needed here… I needed him here. He was my sounding board, my encourager, my…

"…I will dope him on antibiotics along with fever-reducing medication and he will be good as new."

"Keep me posted," Jake ordered.

"Of course, Sir," Colt nodded. "I'll be with him the whole time."

"No," I all but yelled. Everyone startled; Jake narrowed his eyes at me. I cleared my throat. "Um, I'll stay. You go and rest Doc. It's been a long day for you. I have nothing else to do."

Jake, without taking his eyes off of me, dismissed all of them. Emmett said that he'd bring me something to eat later and no matter how many times I said not to, he wouldn't hear it. Rose left and came back a few minutes later with a bottle of water and a cup of coffee. Once everyone was gone, Jake turned to me.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Oh give it a rest, Jake," I hissed lowly. "I'm doing what I'd had done for anyone else."

"Cut the bullshit, Bella. I didn't see you next to Newton when he was shitting and puking all over the place two weeks ago," he said angrily. "So I'm asking again. What the _fuck_ do you think you're doing?"

I said nothing. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't tell him even if I had something to tell. "I don't know," I whispered.

"Jesus, Bella." He took off his cap and ran his hand over his head.

The door suddenly opened and a panting Cheney entered. "Sir, Staff Sergeant Swan," he urged.

"What is it, Ben?"

"Sir, you're needed in your office. The CO from Victory Base is on the phone. He said that it was urgent." Jake sighed heavily. We both knew that when urgent was added into a sentence, it wasn't good. Something had happened.

"I'm on my way." He turned to look at me. "I'll be back later, SSgt Swan."

"Okay, Sir."

Making sure that no one else was coming in, I went to the small storage room, grabbed a towel along with a small basin, filled it with cold water and headed back to the room. I wet the towel and placed it against his forehead and then I let my right hand mingle with his hair. Within almost four months this man has managed to own me; has made me think of him every single moment I was awake, and then he penetrated my dreams. Dreams that I knew I shouldn't have: us playing with my kids, kissing lovingly while we watched the sunset at the beach or cuddling in front of a window while we watched it rain. Why did I allow myself to get so attached to him?

_As if you had any chance…_

That man had me by the time he stepped out of that jeep, mid-August. The way he looked at me, the way he offered me that crooked smile of his, the way he rubbed the corner of his lip or bit it to taunt me. He awakened desires in me… to feel his hands, his tongue, and his body on me. My lip started trembling.

I was so _fucked_! How could I go back home and never look back? How could I go back and never see him again? How could I go on knowing that I was the one that deprived this from me…us?

A couple of hours went by and I hadn't moved from his side. Once dinner was finished, Emmett and Rose came. She approached me and placed her arm around me. She didn't have to say anything. I knew that she'd be there for me. Emmett placed the tray on the night stand and dragged the chair closer to it.

"Eat, Bella," he pushed gently.

"I'm not hungry, Emmett," I sighed.

"You either eat on your own will or I will force the damn food down your throat," he said sternly. "We both know that you won't be going anywhere tonight which means that you won't get any sleep. In the morning, you'll have to take over for him and once you're done, then you'll return here. So you need to eat in order to keep up."

"Fine, fine," I relented. I groaned once I saw the lentils. "I hate lentil soup."

"Well yeah, so do I, so suck it up," he chuckled. While I ate, Rose took charge of changing the compresses and Emmett just sat there staring at his queen. That's what he called her in his mind. He let it slip accidentally one day.

"He's still burning," she murmured.

"Colt said it might take a while for the fever to drop."

"Temperatures like his tend to…" I started but I gasped once I heard Edward's voice.

"B-Bel…"

I shot from my seat and sat next to him. "Shh, Edward, I'm here." I ran my hand over his head and he moaned. He started coughing and thrashing on the bed. "Emmett, help me." Emmett helped me keep him down until Edward calmed.

"O-out… B-Bel."

"Why does he want you to get out?" Emmett asked.

Colt entered with Jake right behind him. He placed the thermometer and it indicated that he still had a high fever; 102F. "I hope after this dose the fever will start going down." He left in order to arrange the medicine and I refreshed the towel.

"B-Bel… F-fooks."

"What the fuck is fooks?" Emmett chuckled. I could feel Jake's eyes on me.

"It's Forks," I mumbled. "I sort of grew up there."

Rose got up. "I'm going get some coffee. SSgt Swan? Sir?"

All of us nodded and she left, taking Emmett with her. Jake sighed heavily and sat on the chair. "Of all the men out there, you had to fall for a colleague and one here."

"Jake, please," I whispered.

"I'm only trying to look out for you, baby Bells. I can't stand to see you hurt again. I won't allow it."

"I won't get hurt because nothing will ever happen."

"Keep saying that and you might be able to convince yourself," he chuckled.

"Anyway, we have some issues to contend with. There was fire exchange in Al Habbaniya earlier today. I'll know more tomorrow, but there is a big chance that we need to assist."

"Any casualties?"

"A couple of soldiers had minor injuries and one got shot on the shoulder." I nodded. "Three Iraqi were killed and they are certain a couple were severely injured. They managed to capture a woman. Col. Lucas reassured me that we wouldn't be needed for more than a couple of days."

"When do you need us to go?"

"I'll let you know."

Rose and Emmett came back and handed us a cup of coffee each. No one spoke for a few minutes and it was a bit unnerving. Rose was looking at me out of the corner of her eye; Emmett was looking at the drip, probably counting every drop while Jake stared at me every now and then.

"M-om." I jumped from the chair while Rose grabbed my coffee. He was burning.

Emmett chuckled. "Aw, he's calling for his mommy."

"Zip it, McCarty," Rose hissed.

"What did I do?"

"His condition isn't something to joke about," Rose glared. "Do _not _think for a second that I don't know how you become a momma's boy whenever you Skype."

"There's nothing wrong in being a momma's boy," Jake said to lighten the mood. I snorted loudly.

"Sure," I nodded. He squinted at me.

"O-out…leave… Mama."

I placed another compress on his forehead and checked his pulse. Thank god it was somewhat normal.

_Please come back to me. _

_He's not dead you idiot! _

"You four clicked, together," Jake stated matter-of-factly. "I have seen friendships form throughout my career, but very few are this strong."

"That's because all three of them are special," Rose answered. "First Sergeant is the epitome of a leader. Everything he does is for our best interest; take today for instance. He knew that he wasn't feeling well and instead of appointing the task to someone else, he chose not to. He listens to you without interrupting and he's there when you need him. He corrects any error without thinking twice. As for this one," she smiled pointing at me. "She's not just my SSgt. In my heart she's my sister. Did you know that it took her almost two years to make me call her Bella when we're alone? She doesn't give this privilege to many and I'm glad she doesn't. You won't find a heart like hers and to see someone like St…"

"Hale, enough!" Fuck my life. I didn't need that shit now.

"Finish what you were going to say, Corporal," Jake said firmly and glared at me. He was doing that a lot lately.

"Stanley doesn't like her and belittles her whenever she gets the chance. She may not do it in front of others, but when she d…"

"C-Chri…C-Chriss."

"Chris?" Jake mumbled. I looked briefly around and saw Emmett scratching his head as if he tried to remember something and Rose was pale, looking at Jake. "Liz… My Lizz… mine." Jake sank on the chair for a few seconds and then stormed out of the room. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Why did he have to open his mouth? Why, Edward? Why?

_Um…because he's sick and has no idea what he's saying?_

"Jesus, Bella," Rose breathed.

"I know, Rose," I sighed.

"Why don't you go and get some sleep? I can stay with him," Emmett suggested. I shook my head. "Bella, come on. While he's out you're taking his place. You need your strength."

"I'll be fine. I promise that when I start feeling tired I'll go and get some sleep."

_Yeah, right!_

"I'll come and relieve you in four hours," Rose said. "Bella, please."

"Okay," I sighed.

Once everyone was gone, I _finally _allowed myself to let go. God knows how long I cried. This job was sucking the life out of us and yet we loved it. Each of us had their own reason to be here, but at what cost? We missed precious time with our loved ones; time we knew that we'd never get back. Why did he have to be so fucking perfect? Why did he come now? Why couldn't it be him instead of Marcus? Why did he have to be my First Sergeant?

_You know, the last one is a total crap…_

If he wasn't here then I wouldn't have fallen for him. I wouldn't feel so weak. I wouldn't dream about him. I wouldn't want to spend every waking minute with him. I wouldn't want to have a life with him.

"Fuck," I choked.

"My, B-Bel…"

"Oh, Edward," I whispered. I ran my fingers over his face.

Would it be wrong to steal a kiss from his lips?

_Do it!_

"So warm and tender." My thumb ghosted over his lips.

_Just fucking do it!_

I leaned forward and with the tiniest pressure, I placed my lips on his. My whole body shuddered; it felt so right, but so very wrong at the same time. My soul hummed with the mere contact. A small gust of air left my lips as I pulled back.

"A kiss seals two souls for a moment in time," I mumbled to myself.

**~Ж~**

"How was he during the night?"

"His fever is gone." I was relieved. "Did they call you back from Victory base?"

"No," Jake said. "I do expect them to; if not today, tomorrow morning at the latest."

"I will form a plan just in case Ed… First…"

"Again with this crap, Bella?" Jake snorted. "You think I don't know you're on a first name basis?"

"Well in here, you're my Colonel and I have to keep up the pretense."

He chuckled. "You little shit."

I snorted. "Someone else deserves that title and it's not me."

He groaned. "Are you still thinking about it?"

"Oh, no," I smirked. "I'm not; because once we get home someone will need an ass pillow to sit on for a week."

We talked a bit more, but from the look in his eyes I knew what he wanted- needed to know. Up until he left to attend West Point, he had always been with me. He taught me so many things and helped me. I owed him that much.

"Jake," I whispered.

"Out with it, Bella," he sighed and lit a cigarette.

"I love him."

"I know."

"I can't be with him."

"I understand why you can't, but I also know why you should."

"I'm afraid."

"You can't let one fucked up situation rule your life, Bella."

"I'm not alone anymore, Jake."

"And you know he cares for them." He inhaled deeply and looked at me.

"You heard him last night. He was calling their names and…"

I shook my head. "No, Jake. What he feels for the kids and me is just an infatuation and nothing more; a life that he wished was his own. Just for a second, assume that I do give in. Do you think I don't know that once the 'honeymoon' phase is over, we won't have issues? What happens when we decide to call it a day, hmm? How will Lizzie and Chris take it? The only father figure they've had is Charlie. They'd be shattered, Jake. For God's sake, their own father didn't want them. How can a man that barely knows them… _us…_ want them?"

"You can't live your life with 'what ifs'. Take me for example."

"We are not the same," I hissed. "Emmy and you didn't have any baggage. The only thing difficult between you was ranking. She left and you got hitched. End of story."

"Carpe motherfucking Diem you idiot!"

"Fuck you!" I snapped and left the room.

**~Ж~**

After lunch, Ateara had no issue giving me space to make some soup. I cut the chicken, potatoes and carrots in medium sized cubes and let them boil slowly. As I waited for the food, I took out a package meant for Edward. Earlier that morning, I received a large manila envelope from home. The kids made drawings at school and they wanted me to have them. Sue also sent me the next book of the _Fallen_ series and another DVD of the kids.

Colt told me that Edward would be fine. During the night his breathing had improved while his fever had gone down as well. The only thing that troubled me was that he had yet to wake up. Colt, once again, eased my mind.

'_When our bodies are exhausted, what is the first thing they seek? Sleep. You think that if any of us went done with a cold, we wouldn't sleep? I assure you that personally, I'd be dead to the world for at least forty- eight hours.'_

I prayed to God for his words to be true. I knew that they were, but… Whether he was here or not, I missed him. I missed his smile, the twinkle his eyes held when he teased me, the fire in them when he was pissed, his sense of humor, the simple touch of his fingers across mine. He was a virile man and to see him so vulnerable was unnerving.

Emmett managed to drag me out of his room and this was why I was now in the mess hall making soup. Forty minutes into my cooking, I stirred the pot and with a fork, pierced the ingredients to check if they were done. I took out half of the vegetables to mash them and added the celery leaves, salt, pepper, half cup of rice, a bit of olive oil and lemon juice. Once the mashing was done, I added it into the pot and lowered the heat to allow the rice to cook.

"Fuck, Swan," Ateara moaned startling me. "Please tell me there's enough for me."

I giggled. "What do I get in return?"

"What you _got_ in return was having your sweet little ass allowed in my domain," he grinned.

"Cut the crap, Quil. You know that you always get your portion whenever I cook." I punched him on the shoulder. "How's George?" He huffed in response. "What?"

"Let's just say that he's not my favorite teddy bear at the moment."

"Care to share?"

"He wants me to leave." Same old, same old.

"Do you want to?"

He shook his head. "Yes and no. I got used to this kind of living and I thought that after fourteen years he would too. The money is good; it pays for his schooling, our house, our vacations, and our health. I know he misses me and God only knows how much I miss him, but if I leave, what the fuck will I do? I enlisted right after high school. I have no degree, no nothing."

Quil was seventeen when his high school sweetheart told him she was pregnant. She didn't want to keep the baby, but she was against abortion so she told him she would give the baby up for adoption. Quil didn't even want to consider it so Amy- if I'm not mistaken- signed her rights away and he took him. A plus in the whole situation was that his mother would help. Truth be told, I could understand Quil's fears up to a point. George was fourteen now and it was easier for him to understand his father's absence. However it was difficult. He was a teenager and he needed his father.

"Do you know anything else apart from cooking?"

"I always liked fixing cars. My dad used to take me to his garage all the time before he died," he smiled sadly. "My dream was to finish school and become a mechanic." That was an interesting piece of information.

"When do you have to decide?"

He smirked. "Someone's getting old."

"Shut up asshole. I'm tired and I tend to forget things. So," I continued. "You've got what? Four months?" He nodded. "Let me check something and I'll get back to you." He furrowed his brows. "Not telling you." I stirred the soup one last time and removed it from the fire.

I reeked, so a shower was needed. I grabbed my stuff and in no time was under the shower head, groaning with delight as the warm water hit my body.

_No wonder Edward was sleeping for almost a day…_

I wanted to get back to his room as soon as possible so I didn't spend much time showering; wash, rinse, dry. I got dressed quickly, dried my hair and left. The moment I opened the door and saw that he was awake and sitting on his bed, it felt as if the whole world was lifted off my shoulders. That smile of his was the best remedy. Of course, it was short lived when we both realized that Jake had entered the room and we didn't even notice. My heart was beating so fast that I thought it would stop. I felt like a teenager, caught right before we started making out.

_Making out?_

Not wanting to give Jake much time to say things he shouldn't, I rushed to the mess hall to bring some soup to Edward. Within five minutes I was back. My hands were shaking so I chose to take a few calming breaths before going in.

"Are you threatening me, Colonel?" Edward said angrily. Oh shit!

"There is a big difference between threatening someone and warning him, First Sergeant. This is just a warning. You have no idea the things she went through and…"

"And you do?" he fired back.

"You think I don't? I know that woman inside out! She's m…"

I opened the door knowing he would tear me a new one later, but he knew the fucking deal. Edward sank down on the bed and groaned, while Jake looked furious. I didn't let him say much until he was out of the room. The look he gave me though, once he saw the soup I made, was enough. He _knew_ that apart from immediate family, I never cooked for anyone else. He knew what I was dead serious about my feelings toward Edward. He let it go… for the time being.

**~Ж~**

We'd just finished the last briefing before our mission tomorrow. Jake was adamant on Edward not coming with us, because he hadn't recovered fully. Edward being Edward insisted he was since there were so many sick at camp. Having no other choice, Jake agreed with a special rule: if he wasn't feeling well, he would stay back the following day. The task was simple: drive there, walk a mile, spend twelve hours looking around and personally doing nothing, walk a mile, get into the MRAPs, return to camp, eat, sleep and repeat. Interesting schedule, right? _Not!_ As we were cutting it close to the day we'd leave for our very much needed R&R, the days seemed to fucking drag.

One down- twenty seven to go. Just in time for Christmas…

It was still early so I decided to grab the book Rose leant me and head to my sanctuary. This time it was called _Gazebo_ by Emily Grayson and it was based on a true story. Fiction books were good _if _the plot was good, but the ones based on true events felt more real. It was about a couple; Martin and Claire. He was rich, she was poor and their love blossomed during the 50's. As I started reading, I couldn't help but think what it would have been like to have lived during that time all the things I would have witnessed; color TV was introduced to us, the first organ transplant and the discovery of DNA. Not to mention the 60's and 70's.

"I love watching you read," Edward said. This time I wasn't startled. I knew he would come. He always came.

I smiled and looked at him. "Why?" He sat next to me, stretched his legs and rubbed his knee.

"It's because of your facial expressions. When you read something you don't get, your eyebrows furrow. When it's something exciting or happy, you grin and pinch your lower lip with your fingers," he ran his thumb over my cheekbone.

"And what does it say now?"

"Hmm," he hummed and squinted. "Now you're relaxed, a minute ago it was sad, probably because of the book's plot, like something bad is about to happen."

I gasped lowly. "It scares me how well you know me."

"Don't be scared, Bella," he murmured. He leaned forward and fuck my life if I didn't want him to kiss me. "You have no idea how badly I want to kiss you." He grazed his nose over my shoulder. "You're all I think about. When I was sick, I dreamt of your angels and you. I dreamt of us chasing them; reading to them." He paused and took a deep breath. "I dreamt of having you in my arms. I dreamt of you being mine and mine alone. You were created only for me."

My eyes filled with tears. "Edward…" He didn't look up. He placed a feather like kiss on my neck and I shuddered.

"I'm falling, Bella, and I'm falling fast." He kissed my jaw and moaned lightly. "There's no escape from me, sweetheart. You _will_ give in."

"Don't do this to me, please," I cried. "We can't do this." He smiled.

"Aren't doing anything… for now." He kissed my knuckles and took a deep breath. "Can you do me a favor?"

"Anything," I said at once.

"Be careful, tomorrow."

**~Ж~**

"Ugh," Rose said tiredly. "One more hour and we're done with this crap."

I snorted. "Until tomorrow." We'd already been on location for eleven hours. Apart from a few cars passing by, nothing else happened. I spent most of the day observing the farms in the distance and picking up tiny stones from the road. I opened my first aid pack and took my equipment out. Colt didn't come since a quarter of the camp was down with the flu; Jake included, so I was assigned as medic of the squad. A plus was that Edward had some medical education.

"How many times are you gonna take that shit out, check it and put it back in?"

"As many needed for time to go by faster. I'm hungry, filthy, I got my period this morning and I need some fucking chocolate."

"Fuck off, Bella." Rose glared. "Chocolate? Really?"

"Oh yeah. I would give my right ovary for a slice of my mama's dark chocolate and hazelnut cheesecake."

"I think I'm gonna cry," she whimpered.

I smiled sadly as I remembered my son.

"_Mommy can I have some?"_

"_The chocolate is really hot right now, baby. We will have some when Pa and Nana come from the airport," I said and kissed his forehead. My baby boy had a sweet tooth just like his mama. "Why don't you grab a couple of cookies instead?"_

_The house phone started ringing and I heard Lizzie answer it. "Mommy, Aunt Milly is wanted to talk to talk to you."_

_I took the pan off the fire and went into the living room. "It's '_wants_' baby girl," I corrected her and took the phone. _

"_That's what I said, Mommy."_

_Ten minutes late, I found Chris sitting Indian style on the kitchen island, with the cookie jar in front of him, dipping cookies into the melted chocolate. Once he saw me, he gave me the biggest chocolate smile a mother had ever seen._

"You see that smile, Hale?" Edward asked, taking me out my reverie.

"That's the one she has when she thinks of her kids." I could feel the smirk in his voice. Why the fuck did he have to say shit like that? "Pack your stuff. The Infantry will relieve us soon."

I threw my things back into the back pack, not saying a word.

Rose choked back her giggle. "You're so fucked."

_Tell me about it._

Thirty minutes later, all of us were standing in front of our First Sergeant. "Okay people," he said loud enough for everyone to hear. "Whitlock, Hunter and Brown, you're up front. Swan, Garcia and Stanley take the back; the rest of us in the middle. Eyes and ears open."

The vehicles were waiting for us a mile away. Although it was dark, there was sufficient moonlight, so night vision equipment wasn't needed. However, our orders were that once we entered the darker part of the road, on our way back to the vehicles, we would enable our NVGs.

I missed nights like this. As a little girl, when Dad was deployed or we were in Forks for vacations, Mom would drive us to La Push. It was absolutely magnificent when there was a full moon. My cousins would build up a fire at the beach and we would cook s'mores as grandpa narrated old legends of the tribe.

'_My little Pale Princess, having a strong and brave body isn't important. What is important is having a brave soul.'_

Each group was walking with about eighty feet apart, not to mention the fact that some areas of the road had farms which were unoccupied. Five minutes into our march, I heard Garcia curse loudly. I turned around and saw him sprawled on the ground. His shoelaces got loose, so he tripped and fell.

"And people call _me_ clumsy," I laughed.

Edward- being the very last in his group- heard him and turned around.

"Everything alright?"

"Yes, Sir," Stanley called. "The pretty tripped and fell."

"Keep going," he instructed sternly.

Everything started without anyone realizing it; one minute Garcia was walking with us and next he was on the ground screaming with pain as he clenched his knee. One shot was enough for a raid of bullets to start flying in every direction.

"Take cover," Edward yelled.

I grabbed Garcia by the collar and dragged him behind an abandoned building. My heart was pounding within my chest so fast. Using my two index fingers I ripped his pants around the area of the wound. I quickly opened my backpack, grabbed the saline, washed his knee and patched it tight enough with a bleed stop bandage.

"Son of a bitch!"

"Can you handle the pain or do you want some pain reliever?"

"What I need is my goddamned gun and better cover," he hissed. "Fuck! Silvia will have my hide when I get home."

I snickered. "Good one. I've got Mama Garcia." I smiled at him. A grenade went off and instantly I covered his body with mine.

_Be safe Mommy…_

The only sounds one would hear were gun shots, grenades blowing up and screams.

"Medic!"

Rose.

"Go," Garcia growled as I handed him his gun. He turned around and lay on his stomach. "I'll cover you."

I crouched down and started running towards Rose. Who was hurt?

"Medic!"

I ran faster.

_Please God, not him. _

"Hale!" I knew I was close.

"Over here," she called.

Another grenade went off.

Another one was hurt.

"Medic!"

Edward.

I reached her and saw her hovering over Emmett. I was somewhat relieved when I saw that she was putting pressure on his calf.

"Fucking seriously?" I heard Emmett snarl. "How the fuck am I gonna play hoops tomorrow? Motherfuckers!"

"I've got him." I pushed Rose aside; she picked up her gun and took position. However, she was looking towards us. She started hyperventilating. "Focus, Hale!"

I worked on Emmett quickly. From what I could see, the wound was deep, but not enough to cause any permanent damage. He had no issues in maneuvering his leg.

"I swear on my mama's blessed heart…"

"Leave her be, Snuffy. In ten days you'll be good as new."

"Medic!"

"How many are they?"

I had no clue. "Not enough to take us down." I tried to sound encouraging even though I was scared beyond recognition. What if there were enough to take us down? What if I didn't get to see my babies again?

"Medic!"

"What the fuck?"

"I know, Emmett."

Once I reached Edward, I saw him kneeling in front of Cheney. When we looked at each other for a second, he said nothing, picked up his gun, loaded it and started shooting. Cheney's head was already patched and a few bloodied bandages were on his right inner thigh. They were close to his genitals, but shame wasn't on the plate at the moment. I tore his pants a bit more, examined the area as best as I could and saw that all of his parts were intact. No gunshot so that meant he was close to a grenade explosion.

"Young, talk to me," Edward called as I applied pressure to the wound.

"The infantry will arrive in four minutes and cars in less than two," he hurried.

"We don't have two minutes," he hissed. I took a deep breath. My hands were shaking. That wasn't good.

"Swan, how many so far?"

"Garcia, McCarty and Cheney. Garc…"

"Medic!"

"Jesus Christ!"

"I knew someone was missing," Newton chuckled. "We could use his help right now." I snorted.

"Medic! Medic!"

Stanley.

I put the backpack on me, crouched and started running to my original position. On my way, I couldn't help but think the pattern of the injuries the men sustained- none were life threatening. Then we had the grenades- all of them were close, but not close enough to kill. Something weird was going on here.

"What the fuck took you so long?" Stanley snapped.

"Pardon me for having others to tend," I bristled. She really started to piss me off. "What happened?"

"Garcia," was all she said.

I looked to my left and about a foot away I saw his body lying on the ground, unmoving. I rushed to him and fell on my knees. I turned his body around and checked for a pulse. When I found one, I checked for other injuries, but he was clean. The bandage on his knee was almost soaked. He was losing blood and I feared that the damage went beyond the bone.

"Get the fuck off me," Stanley screamed. As I was about to take the pack off my back, I snapped my head toward her and I saw that she was being dragged away by two Marines.

What the fuck?

She started kicking and tried to extract herself and I realized that something was off.

"You sons of bitches," she screamed again as she was dragged toward an occupied building. Fuck!

I picked up my gun and I tried to load it, but I couldn't. I tried again and again with my eyes glued on them, but the fucking shit was stuck. _Fucking stuck._ I tried to find Garcia's, but it was pointless. That area was darker than the rest and throughout the entire ordeal, not once did I think to use my NVG. Without a second thought, I got up and started running toward them. Right before I reached them, Stanley somehow managed to maneuver herself out of their grips, kicked one of them on the ground and ran back to where I was. A third man appeared out of nowhere. It was then when I noticed that the utilities they wore were different. Once they saw me it was too late.

The last thing I recall before everything blacked out was my head colliding against hard metal.

* * *

**Epov**

* * *

I fought in wars and got ambushed over the years, uncountable times. The fear I felt this time was nothing compared to the past. Yes, I feared for our lives, but this time it was much worse; this time I had her with me. Now I understood the stipulation that a couple- not that we were one- couldn't be in the same unit.

By the time the infantry and the MRAPs arrived everything was over. The main priority was to load the wounded and get them to base and that's what we did. The team I arrived with wasn't the one I had when we were driving back. Stanley, McCarty and Whitlock were with me on our way back instead of Young, Garcia and Hale. I sighed deeply.

"What a day, huh?" Whitlock said.

I nodded and closed my eyes. "How's Cheney?" I looked toward Ben.

"While we were loading him, he opened his eyes," he shrugged. "I'm worried about Garcia," he continued. "He took quite a blow on his knee. I'm afraid that he'll be discharged."

"At least he'll be alive," I murmured. God I was so fucking tired. I should have heard Colonel when he wanted me to stay back.

'_Then she'd have been alone had you stayed back,'_ I thought to myself.

"You look exhausted, First Sergeant," Whitlock said, taking me out of my thoughts. "Close your eyes and I'll let you know when we arrive."

Soon, I felt someone shaking me lightly. I stepped out of the vehicle and Whitlock followed. Doc was waiting with a few men that held stretchers. Garcia was the first one loaded and rushed to BAS. A couple of minutes later, the second car arrived.

"You fucking bitch," Hale hollered as she jumped out and threw herself at Stanley.

Everyone froze.

"I fucking saw you! It's your fault! Your fault," she screamed and punched her repeatedly in her face. As if someone had slapped me, I rushed to them, picked Hale from her waist and stepped back.

"I will fucking kill you!"

Stanley grunted and tried to get up. No one moved to help her.

"What the hell is going on?" Colonel demanded.

"You ended her alright now," Hale snarled *. My body stiffened and immediately I started looking around. "Mission accomplished. Are you satisfied?"

_No…_

"Where's Swan?" I asked urgently.

No one answered. "Where the fuck is Swan?" I yelled.

_No…_

"Maybe she's with Doc," Hunter said. My hands around Hale's waist loosened. With one swift move she was out of my reach and her carbine pointed at Stanley.

"She's not with Colt," Hale snapped.

_No…_

"That disgrace of a Marine, _allowed_ three of the insurgents to take her. It would have been her, but for the life of me I can't understand why, fucking why SSgt. Swan, ran to her rescue," she continued.

_No…_

"Stanley managed to get away and when she had a fucking gun in her hands, instead of shooting at them, she disengaged and lowered her weapon, giving them the chance to get away! She has children you bitch!"

I couldn't breathe. No! No, no, no! This is not happening!

No!

My whole body started shaking, everything around me turning red. Have you ever had the feeling of your whole world collapsing around you and you couldn't do anything about it? I had no idea what happened next, apart from the fact that someone was screaming and bodies were pushing me back.

"Hale, lower your weapon! Whitlock," Black called. "Lock Stanley up. Cullen, Hale, on my tow."

I couldn't move. I felt someone tapping my shoulder.

My Bella… No…

"First Sergeant," someone said gently.

My beautiful and selfless Bella…

"First Sergeant." I looked up and saw Hale looking at me with tears in her eyes. "Come, Sir. Colonel wants us."

Moments later, I found myself sitting in Black's office. He was barking orders, assembling a squad to go out and look for clues. Whitlock, Hunter and Newton offered to go, but Black refused. Jordan came into the office and suggested that he should go with the squad and take Leah with him. He thought that she might be able to track Bella through her scent since both of them were bonded. Black just nodded.

"What happened?" he asked through clenched jaws.

I was numb. Every word that came out of my mouth felt robotic. I explained the incident as best as possible without losing the very last thread that kept me sane. I knew that I would lose it and I prayed to God that no one was around to witness it. Hale repeated again what she said earlier and swore that she wasn't lying. With that bitch's previous behavior it was clear as day that she did it.

"Everyone was scattered so we had to help the wounded ones first. It was total chaos. I looked around to see if there was any one left and by the time I reached the car, First Sergeant had left, so I didn't have the chance to let him know. Inside the car, I said what I witnessed; that we were leaving SSgt. Swan back, but Young said that he saw her getting into the first vehicle. He was wrong." Hale finished.

How could she?

"I need to call Quantico," Black said. One look on his face and I knew that he was barely hanging. He was scared.

"Sir," I said and without being dismissed I left the office just in time to see a vehicle leaving the camp. Whitlock stepped out of a vacant office and locked the door. Stanley was in there.

"First Sergeant," he nodded and stood in front of the door.

"Open the door, Whitlock," I commanded.

"I have direct orders from the CO that no one enters sir."

I leaned forward until I was in his face. "Open the fucking door," I snarled. "I want to talk to her."

"Sir," he started but I cut him off.

"Now!" He sighed and even though he knew what he was doing was wrong, he unlocked it. "I saw you coming out of here and I barged in without giving you time to react. Got it?"

"I'm not letting you in there alone with her."

"I'm not going to kill her," I hissed.

"I'm not saying you would, Sir, but right now, you're furious and I can't let you in there alone," he tried to reason.

I went in and saw her sitting on a cot. She didn't look up. I didn't give a fuck if her face looked like shit; I didn't care that she was in deep shit. All I cared was to know why.

"On your feet." I tried to keep my voice emotionless but I knew I had failed. "Look at me." Her eyes her cold and vacant. "Is it true?" She said nothing. "Answer me!"

"Yes." Whitlock came and stood in front of me. I shoved him out of my way.

"Why?" Her indifference was making things harder for her. She was making me even more furious than I already was. "Why?" I screamed.

"Because the bitch deserved it," she hissed. In the blink of an eye I was in front of her- professional decorum be damned.

"Sir!" Whitlock called and stepped in front of me.

"She deserved it?" I hissed. "Let me make something clear. If anyone deserved something like this, it was you. That woman you handed them is nothing like you. That woman ran after them to help you and as a fucking thank you, you might have made two small children orphans," I spat. "I swear on my fucking life that if she's dead, I will make sure you remember what you did to her for the rest of your pathetic life. I will never let you rest and _if_ you get out of prison, I _will_ find you even if you hide in the deepest pit of hell! You disgust me!" I made a step back and Whitlock pushed me until I was out of the door with that fucking whore locked up behind it.

I was suffocating; my throat started burning and my heart was even worse. My Bella… I shouldn't have allowed her to come with us. I shouldn't have put her in the back with her. I should have paid more attention to our surroundings. This was all on me.

Men and women were running in different directions; I heard Emmett call for me but I didn't turn. I went into my office and threw my things on the corner as if they were burning me.

My Bella…

Hundreds of images passed before my eyes as I closed them; her smiling, frowning, smirking, squinting. Her laugh was the sweetest sound I'd ever heard.

"_Can I ask you a question?" she asked._

"_You just did," I said seriously._

_She slapped her hand on the side of my thigh and I laughed lightly. "I'm serious," she huffed._

"_Me too," I deadpanned. "Ask your question."_

"_The day you arrived you did something that you weren't supposed to." She had her hair loose again. I grabbed one of her locks and twirled it with my fingers._

"_What did I do?" I smiled. Took her long enough to throw it in my face._

"_I saluted you and you saluted back. Why didn't you tell me off?"_

"_Why did you salute me?" I asked._

"_I have no idea why. My hand just went up on its own. Why did you?"_

"_Simply because I wanted to show you that everyone makes mistakes. You think I don't know that you thought about it? When you do something that you're not supposed to and you realize it afterwards, your ears turn pink from embarrassment or anger." I smiled. "I realized that yesterday when you punched Emmett after I told you to go and get some sleep."_

"_Well be both fucked up so…"_

"_No, that'd be all you. I just followed to lessen the embarrassment," I tickled her side. She started laughing and squealed a little. My god she was beautiful. After I let her calm down, I traced my thumb over her lips. "I will make you mine Bella Swan and when I do, I will show you how it feels to be cherished."_

A violent sob broke though my chest.

"_What are you humming?" I asked her._

"_Nothing." Her face turned bright red._

"_Just a kiss," Emmett said while he flexed his bicep. Bella glared at him._

"_I've never heard of it. Is it good?" I asked._

"_It's a decent song," he handed me his iPod. "It's under the Queen Playlist_ _number 3." I scrolled down and when I found it I pressed play._

_**Lyin' here with you so close to me  
It's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe  
I'm caught up in this moment, caught up in your smile**_

_My head snapped up and looked at her. _

_**I've never opened up to anyone  
So hard to hold back when I'm holding you in my arms  
We don't need to rush this, let's just take it slow**_

_I started tapping my fingers on the table, trying to match the tune of the song. As if she was listening along, when the chorus started she smiled timidly and bit her lip._

_**Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight  
Just a touch of the fire burning so bright  
And I don't want to mess this thing up  
No, I don't want to push too far**_

_Oh baby… A kiss will never be enough… stolen or not…_

That was the moment I let myself go. I screamed, picked up the chair and threw it on the wall. Papers and pens flew in every direction as I swiped them off the desk.

_Her eyes…_

_Her mouth…_

_Her voice…_

I screamed again and again and trashed the office even more.

My Bella…

My heart…

"Edward."

I tried to pry the arms that restrained me off of me, but it was fruitless.

My fault…

My legs gave up and I sank on the floor, dragging the person who was holding me along.

"Edward," someone shook me. I looked up and saw Emmett and right behind him was Rose and Whitlock.

"My fault," I croaked.

"No," Rose cried and kneeled in front of me. "It's not."

"Bella," I cried.

"Edward," Emmett said hoarsely. "Stop it."

"They have Bella," I sobbed. "They have my Bella."

* * *

**A/N:**

***waves timidly from under the bed***

**Hello…**

**Now now, there is no need for violence… I know I'm an epic bitch but a life without drama is no life at all, lol. The tough part of this story is done… well almost… well not almost, but you get the picture.**

**Before I continue I need to say something. I know that there are mistakes concerning the military stuff… I try to make as few as possible so I'm deeply sorry if I don't do justice to this story…**

**Fact: The whole fight scene is somewhat based on a true event that happened in Afghanistan October 25****th**** 2007. The Staff Sergeant's name was Salvatore Guinta and the dude got a medal of honor. Look him up on Wikipedia.**

**Some of you may wonder why Rose and Bella sort of freaked when E said the children's names. Here is your answer. Rose doesn't know what's going on between Bella and Jake, but she sort of figured out what B/E mean to each other. Rose doesn't know that Jake knows Bella and Edward's feelings.**

***About Rose's statement: "You ended her alright now." She repeated Stanley's words that were said on chapter 8. Here's the passage:**

_"Bella," Edward whispered. "If I let you go, she will file a complaint against you and you'll be in trouble. Let me handle this, please," he begged._

_"Listen to him," Rose murmured._

_"I will end you," she coughed and looked at Edward. Bitch was infecting him just by looking at him. "I want to report her."_

**The song is Just a kiss by Lady Antebellum. © to their respectful owners.**

**I need to thank a couple of people apart from my awesome beta, Monique and Oilily.**

**Reem Ooe for explaining to me about the location and Nic along with ****Dlbfive from TLS.**

**Make sure on Mondays to check the fictionators because every now and then I post a teaser there too…**

**You'll find me on Facebook as Penelope Griva and on Twitter as MrsECullenPen.**

**By clicking the magical button that says 'Review this chapter' will bring you closer to your update and of course you'll get your teaser…**

**Until next time…**

**Pen…**


	12. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. ****The plot, along with a couple of characters that might be added in future, are mine.**

* * *

_**Previously…**_

"_Edward," someone shook me. I looked up and saw Emmett and right behind him was Rose and Whitlock. _

"_My fault," I croaked. _

"_No," Rose cried and kneeled in front of me._

"_Bella," I cried. _

"_Edward," Emmett said hoarsely. "Stop it."_

"_They have Bella," I sobbed. "They have my Bella."_

* * *

**Chapter 10**

* * *

**EPov**

* * *

I hadn't slept for three days. I barely ate. I couldn't. My mind was thinking nothing else but her.

Was she alive?

Was she hurt?

Three days and still nothing; not even a small clue to where or how she was.

Nothing at all.

We'd been off the radar ever since and today we were allowed to talk briefly with our families. I didn't want to talk to anyone. Of course my decision was short lived as the colonel called me into his office to 'consult' with him and command me to do it because it would be my last chance until we found her.

I dragged myself into the room we had the computers and I logged in to Skype.

"Oh, Edward," my mother sobbed. She knew. Of course she did. Major should have known by now.

"Hello, Mom," I didn't have the courage or strength to look strong. I wasn't.

"Are you okay?"

"No."

"Oh, baby. Everythi…"

"Don't," I hissed. Her eyes widened. "Just don't. Don't tell me it will be fine. Nothing will ever be fine unless I get her back," I spat. "It's my fault! I shouldn't have let her out of my sight! I should have been the one to volunteer to be the medic and not her. It should have been me and not her!" By the time I was done she was crying her heart out.

"Es?" I heard my father's concerned voice call. He disposed his briefcase on the couch and looked at the screen. "Edward." The relief was evident in his eyes. "How are you son?"

_Lifeless._

Mom whimpered; Dad's face was full of pity and I realized that I spoke out loud. I didn't want their pity or sympathy. I didn't want anything from anyone. I just wanted my life back…

"Sweetheart, go and get ready. I want to take my girl out for a stroll," he smiled at her. She was about to protest but he didn't give her the chance. "Uh uh, my love, go."

"I love you, baby," she sniffled and left.

And just like that I hated myself for taking my anger out, once again, on the wrong person.

"Look at me," Dad said harshly. "I don't know what you told her, but from the look on both of your faces, I can assume. She doesn't deserve your anger and when she comes back, you'll apologize."

"Are you gonna play the strict parent card on me?" I mocked. "Because that ship sailed a long time ago."

"Don't take that fucking tone with me. I demand your respect," he hissed. "Are we gonna do this shit all over again? Bella isn't Peter!"

I sighed heavily and suppressed the need to scream. "I'm sorry, Dad."

"Wrong person to apologize to," he started. "You will listen to me without interrupting. We've no idea what happened out there, but we're not clueless. It doesn't take a genius to tell that things are bad. She's alive and you'll find her."

"How the fuck do you know that?" I asked angrily.

"Bad news travel fast," he glared. "And I said no interruptions. Do you think being hostile to people who love and worry about you, will get you anywhere?" he pressed. "No. You may be forty-two, but don't think that I won't discipline you _a la Carlisle style_. I'm your father and if I want to skin you alive, I will. Your mother would love a hat from that mop you have for hair."

I snorted. Instantly, an image of my father in a Neanderthal suit, a make-shift knife, and just for the fun of it, a bone at the top of his head, popped into my mind. Before I could realize what I was doing, I started laughing and he followed suit.

"Easy there, Fred Flintstone," I chuckled. "And FYI, I ain't got any mop and I haven't had one since the nineties."

He cracked a smile at me. "Well it worked, didn't it?" he winked. "Remember when Peter and you were little and wanted to build a stone house like the Flintstone's?"

I nodded and lit a cigarette. "I do," I paused. "I also remember the ass whooping when the builder caught us stealing sand and cement with our buckets and dragged us to the house."

"What did Mom use again for the whooping?"

"That huge ass wooden spoon she had for cooking; two for me and one for Peter. She said that he'd get the second one from Mamacita Carmen." That was the first and last time he 'sampled' Mom's spoon. He was a saint after that… well almost. "I'm truly sorry." My dad shook his head. "Ever since she's gone, I can't function."

"I can imagine."

"No you can't, Dad."

"Maybe."

We fell silent for a minute or two. "How much do you know?"

"Sue called in hysterics three days ago and told Esme that Bella was missing. CACO went by their house and dropped the news. Charlie and the kids were in Port Angeles at the time." I rubbed my face with both hands. "It's all over the news, as well"

"Shit!"

"They say that she was taken while she was helping a wounded marine in the middle of a fight. They said the captors had to knock out the injured so he wouldn't try to stop them from taking her." I rolled my eyes and looked at the ceiling. When I looked back at the screen, I saw him writing something.

**I know that you can't say anything, but tell me if it's true what Charlie told me. I don't, under any circumstance doubt him, but…'**

I nodded because I knew that there was no way Major didn't know what transpired up here to the very last detail. His eyes brimmed with tears.

"Why?"

"Fuck if I know. _She_," I sneered, "wouldn't talk."

"Charlie got back from Virginia today." He scratched his chin. "He called me at the office and told me that things weren't looking good."

"Dad, I have no idea what's going on. All we could find were her dog tags and her helmet. We've been looking for three days and it's as if the earth opened and swallowed them up. The Army and Victory Base send men everyday to help us look. I just," I cleared my throat. "I don't know what to think anymore."

"Son, why don't we cut this call short and call Charlie?" he advised. "He was really worried about you, too."

I couldn't.

"I can't dad. I promised to take care of her and did the opposite."

"It wasn't your fault, Edward!" I shook my head. "Please. That man thinks of you as a son. Every time we talked these past three days, he asked how you were holding up and if we'd talked to you. He would never blame you."

Not having any other choice, I agreed. I knew that Major would never blame me, but regret and shame made it really difficult to face him. He must've been so disappointed in me.

"Dad," I choked. "Tell me everything will be fine. Tell me she'll come back to me."

"Oh, Edward," he whispered.

"I just found her. If I lose her…"

"I don't know God's plans, my boy, but there is a reason behind everything. You were brought together for a reason and apart from you two ending up together, I can't see anything else. She will come back," he encouraged. "She has so many things to fight for; her children, her parents… you."

"Okay, Dad," I cleared my throat. "Please apologize to Mom on my behalf. Send my love to everyone."

"Call Charlie," he reminded one last time and ended the call.

I sat for a good ten minutes to gather my thoughts and emotions, but most of all, my courage. I pressed my hand over my chest and when I felt the dog tags under my shirt, I took them out to look at them. The first chain, contained Peter's and mine. I carried it with mine ever since he was gone. Apart from my memories and pictures, it was the only thing I had of him. If he was here, I was perfectly certain that he would've assembled squads and have them look 24/7 until he found her. He wouldn't rest until he did, despite what the CO said. He would also have found a way to kill that bitch and make it look like an accident.

The second chain around my neck had been my constant companion for the past three days. I ran my thumb over it as I read it.

**SWAN**

**ISABELLA M. B NEG**

**382 91 7100**

**USMC L**

**NO PREFERENCE**

"_Name the craziest thing Major ever did?" I asked._

"_You mean apart from creating me?"_

"_Nice try." I nudged her with my shoulder._

_She giggled. "When I found out I was pregnant- with twins no less- Charlie was over the moon. He truly never minded that I'd be a single mom. The day Marcus left was my first day back at work. Every hour he would call and ask me whether I was feeling sick or if I had any cravings. The first couple of hours, maybe three, were kind of cute and funny, but after that it started to get irritating." She smiled and took a drag from her cigarette. "When I got back home that day, I nearly passed out in my driveway from all the aromas. He had my mother cook all of my favorites: roast chicken, chicken pie, veal soup, lasagna, cheesecake, cookies and cupcakes. I gasped when I saw the feast that was spread out on my kitchen counter. I asked where the party was and his words were: we male Swans need to be strong."_

_I chuckled. "Did he know the gender?"_

_She shook her head. "No." She tucked her hair behind her ears. "He always wanted a son you see. After Sue's accident with her late husband, the doc said she couldn't have any kids. They even tried adoption once, but it didn't work out. So," she continued, "feeling a bit playful, I leaned forward, stretched the front of my pants and looked down. 'What are you looking at down there, Bella?'" she horribly mimicked. "I gave him the bitch brow and my response was to see when I'd grown a dick." I threw my head back and laughed loudly. _

"_Anyway, during dinner, he announced that my mom would stay with me throughout my pregnancy to help me. Seeing my mom's excitement, I didn't protest. My gynecologist informed me that women, who carried twins, usually gave birth early. Entering my twenty fifth week, I took my maternity leave and so did Charlie. He booked Mom, my best friend Alice and me, a week at a spa resort in Hawaii, so when Alice arrived, we were gone. This is where crazy thing number one happened," she paused. "While we were gone, he turned my office/library into a nursery. We knew the gender of the babies, so it wasn't difficult to get the basics." I nodded. "He recruited my cousins; Sam painted the whole room, Dad, set up the cribs and Sam's brother, who is also a marine, did the 'mural' on the wall," she snorted. Edward, when we saw that mural, Mom, Alice and yours truly screamed bloody murder."_

"_Why?"_

"_The main wall was gray with a huge USMC logo and underneath it said 'Sempre Fi'. Mama passed out and Alice was a sobbing mess."_

_I swear I had never laughed so much in my entire life. "You?" I wiped the tears that ran from my eyes._

"_I may be obsessed with my job but not to the point of insanity." She shook her head. "However I couldn't bring myself to tell them to paint over it because it was beautiful, so we came to a compromise: the side walls would be more baby friendly like: light baby blue on Chris's side and lilac on Lisa's."_

"_I hope you have a picture."_

"_Oh! I have something better," she giggled. "They made a video while doing the room."_

"_Tell me another," I demanded eagerly._

"_After giving birth and it was time to go home, Dad went behind our backs and bought the baby's coming home outfits. Alice had bought a beautiful dress for Lisa and a jumper suit for Chris. Imagine, our shock when we saw Chris wearing a three piece set of baby dress blue and my baby girl with a camo tutu dress. My mother and Alice thought they were cute because they really were. Anyhow, they almost had an aneurism when they saw the white gold dog tags dangling from their necks."_

_At that point I was perfectly sure I would end up with an ulcer. "Are you shitting me, Swan?" _

"_I solemnly swear I'm telling the truth," she crossed her heart. "This year he is getting them new chains on their birthday, along with a fucktone of presents. They never take them off."_

"_When is their birthday?"_

"_Christmas Eve."_

I kissed the dog tags, tucked them under my shirt and clicked Charlie's contact info on my list. Out of instinct, when the video call started loading, I lowered my head.

"Nana! Pa!" I snapped my head to the screen and saw the most beautiful childish faces ever. "Hi, Mr. Soldier," Lizzie waved frantically. "Nana! Mr. Soldier is in the computer."

"Hello, little lady," I smiled at her and turned my attention to Chris. "How are you, Chris?" Heavy steps pounded on the floor until Major came on screen. If I wasn't sitting, the sight of him would have brought me to my knees.

"I'm fine, Mr. Edward," Chris smiled shyly.

"Did you like our pictures?" Lizzie fired excitedly.

"I absolutely loved them. I taped them to the wall in my office, and the card is on my desk."

"We will make you more," Chris said. "We're write a…"

"Writing," Major corrected.

"Yeah, that," Chris nodded, "a get well soon Mommy card." I whimpered involuntarily. "When we send the card to Mommy, we'll send your pictures too, right Pa?"

"Sure, kiddo." Major ruffled Chris's hair.

"Is Mommy's leg better, Mr. Edward?"

My mouth went dry and my eyes started burning. " Um…" I cleared my throat. Fuck I couldn't let them see me like that. "Not yet, buddy. The doctor said that it will take some time for Mommy's leg to heal. I saw her right before I called you and she told me to tell you that she loves you to the moon and beyond." Sue appeared and stood next to Major. She didn't look any better.

"How did she hurt her leg?" Lizzie asked.

_Lie and lie good!_

"I accidentally bumped…"

"You hurt Mommy?" Lizzie gasped.

"I didn't mean to, honey. I bumped onto her and…" I started but Charlie stopped me before I said anything else. Only when I saw the look on his face, did I realize what the fuck I was doing.

"Mistakes happen, Edward, and this one, wasn't yours," he said sadly. He turned his attention to the kids. "Why don't you two go and start working on those drawings?" The children nodded, waved at me and left.

It was only Major, Sue and me. He looked so much older and he'd lost weight. His once bright eyes were now dull, and dark circles were spotted under his eyes lids.

"Any new leads?" he asked.

"Nothing," I whispered. "We'll go off the radar soon, and then leave."

"Edward," he called gently, but I didn't have the heart to look him in the eyes. "Don't do this to yourself. This whole mess wasn't your fault. The one responsible is behind bars and I'll make sure she pays. Quantico wasn't happy when she arrived yesterday and was transferred to Lejeune," he paused. "I wanted to tear down the place, find her and kill her with my bare hands."

"Hale almost did," I sighed. "I would have done it had I found out about it while we were still on site."

"I'm so so angry," he hissed and tugged his hair.

"Sweetheart," Sue said.

"Don't start again, Sue," he snapped lowly. "She's my baby and she's gone."

Something in me snapped. I wasn't the one who needed reassurance. Right now he wasn't an ex-marine but a father, struggling and coming to terms with his missing child. "Charlie, we'll get her back. Sooner or later they'll give us something and when they do, I swear that no one will live," I said with conviction.

"You're not a killer, Edward." He shook his head.

"I'd kill for her." I shut my mouth at once. Fuck! He narrowed his eyes at me. I didn't ever flinch. I needed him to know that I was dead serious. Charlie's gaze softened.

"I know you would. Just… find her… please."

I looked at my watch. "Major, I need to go."

He nodded. "Okay, son."

"I will not rest until I find her and bring her back home," I swore.

"Thank you," was all he said and ended the call.

**~Ж~**

Five hours; that was how long we've been looking this time. We entered homes, farms, buildings that barely stood, asked people if they knew anything. I even stopped at Abu Ghraib and talked to Mohamed. Of course he knew nothing about it. His impassivity made me blow a gasket. Emmett and Jasper caught me right before I punched him.

I would call the base frequently when we were out and ask if there was any news. The answer was always the same: nothing yet. A squad from Victory base had caught some suspicious movement south west of us, but it ended up being a couple of shepherds that headed to their herds on foot, since their truck had broken down. They decided to brush off the fact that one of them had a couple of bags of cloth. The shepherds said that it was to be cut and tied around the area they kept their sheep, to mark it as theirs, since the fence had fallen.

**~Ж~**

Day five was the same as the previous ones; still nothing. Today we went east. Colonel told me to stay behind, but one look and he knew that I wouldn't.

I'd be the one to lead my squad like I always did.

I'd be the one to find her.

I'd be the one to kill every single one of them… slowly and painfully.

I'd be the one to bring her home.

Throughout the day I felt restless. It was as if something had shifted; something had happened. I tried to mask it over, but my men saw through me- especially Whitlock.

"First Sergeant," he approached.

"What is it, Whitlock?"

"You need to control yourself, Sir," he said lowly. "I know what is going on in your head, I'm not blind," he continued gently. "We need to be focused and your agitation isn't helping."

"Don't patronize me!" I glared.

I knew that he was right. This whole situation was taking a toll on me and my performance, but I had to keep going… keep looking. I needed to fucking find her and we were running out of time. The US government was pressuring the Iraqi government to help and they did as much as they could. This was supposed to be a peaceful operation; most of the US military had left, and soon all of the US bases would be shut down.

Why the fuck had something like this happened?

The sun had started to set and another search came to a dead end. I could see some of the marines were relieved we were heading back to camp, but most of them weren't. Hale was on the verge of tears. McCarty, although hurt, tagged along. He was the cheerleader of the squad, always calling 'Come on guys. Today is the day we'll find her.' or 'It's okay guys. Tomorrow will be the day we find her and bring her home'. Today was the latter. Despite all the cheering he did in between our search, once the day ended, all the encouragement left his eyes. Hunter, like most of us, was determined. Whitlock was the analyzer of the squad; inspecting every single detail before we ruled it out.

We arrived back to base and when I was done reporting my failure; I went back to my office and started setting a new course.

**~Ж~**

"_I spy with my little eye…" I looked around, "something pink." Lizzie, Chris, a little boy that had his back turned to me and Bella looked around._

"_Daddy," Lizzie whined. "Everything is pink here."_

"_It's your room, Princess," I teased her. I winked at my beautiful Bella and she laughed lightly._

"_Another clue," Chris demanded._

"_Hmm," I tapped my chin. "I spy with my little eye something pink and shiny black."_

_The little boy- whom I still couldn't see- shot from his spot on the floor and ran towards the mantle that held the pink picture frame with the black sparkly stars. He grabbed it and when he turned around, my breath caught. He had dark hair and beautiful big green eyes… my eyes._

_He was mine._

"_Daddy, Daddy! I found it," he cheered and crashed his little body into mine._

"_EJ, you're gonna hurt yourself and Daddy," Bella said and rested her head on my shoulder._

"_Hide and seek! Let's play hide and seek," all three of them called. _

_Still baffled with the whole scene, I closed my eyes and started counting up to one hundred. When I was done, I opened my eyes and all I could see was darkness. _

"_Bella?" I called. I got no answer, so I stretched my hands in front of me and started walking. Maybe they had turned off the power to make it more difficult to find them. _

"_Kids?"_

_My heart started hammering into my chest and I was sweating bullets. Something was terribly wrong. A gun went off and a scream filled the air._

"_Bella?" I yelled. "Baby, where are you? Bella!"_

_I broke into a full run. I could hear moans and cries of pain. The sounds were faint, but at least they were there. Suddenly a light appeared out of nowhere, pointing to a slight form on the floor. Regardless of the distance, I knew it was Bella._

"_Bella," I called and ran faster. I fell on my knees in front of her and pulled her hair out of her face. She was so pale and cold. "Baby?" I choked. I felt something cool running down my hand and I started screaming when I saw it was blood. My body started trembling as I pressed two fingers on her jugular vein to feel a pulse._

_I felt nothing…_

_She was gone._

I shot up from my cot and clenched my shirt over my heart. "It was just a dream," I repeated again and again to myself. "She's fine and alive. Dad's right; bad news travel fast. She's alive. My heart's alive."

After I managed to calm down and knowing that I wouldn't be able to sleep anymore, I got up and started my morning ritual: shower, dress and go to my office. The same feeling that something had happened washed over me. I felt agitated.

Was she hurt?

Was she being tortured?

Were they feeding her?

She never left my thoughts. There were times where I expected her to come through my door or find her at our spot. I smiled nostalgically at the thought. Not long after the big fight we'd had, Bella decided that her spot would become _ours. _Whenever there was an issue between us, we would meet there at the end of the day and talk about it. Communication was key.

Emmett was waiting for me outside my office. Upon my arrival, Hale and Whitlock appeared holding cups of steaming coffee. Pleasantries were made and we went inside. I caught them several times sneaking a peek with one another and Hale fidgeted on her seat. I was perfectly certain that, once again, they wanted to 'chastise' me about my behavior.

"Out with it, Hale," I said suddenly making her jump slightly.

"Actually, First Sergeant," Whitlock cut in. "I want to talk to you about something." He leaned back and took out some papers from his side pocket. "I've been reviewing all the clues we have so far."

"And?"

"Well, I think that we're wasting our time…"

"What the fuck?" I snapped, bolting from my seat.

"Oh man," Emmett sighed.

"Wasting our time? Are you out of your goddamned mind?"

He shook his fucking head. "Are you done, Sir, because if you are I'd like to justify as to why we're wasting our time in 'places' we know she's not." I sat down and motioned him to continue. "No one in their right mind would take her to a civilian location. It's a given we'd look for her there. Before going in that direction though, we need to ask ourselves a few things. We were outnumbered. Why aren't we dead? None of the shots or grenades were meant to kill. Wound yes, kill no. There was some sort of pattern. From the things Hale said, I noticed something. Once SSgt. Swan ran toward them and they caught her, Stanley was forgotten. So my second question is why her and not Stanley, or both of them? For some reason Swan was more important than her.

"We should've considered more seriously the fact that her belongings were found southwest; not east or north. Why didn't we look in that direction? What if that's the actual course they took and it wasn't just an act to throw us off?" I remained silent, listening as carefully as possible. "If they wanted her, only to kill her, they would've done it already. They _want_ something."

Rosalie nodded. "I think you might be right. The third man appeared, knocked her out, threw her over his shoulder and started running, while the other picked up her back pack."

"Were they holding guns?" I asked.

"Maybe one of them," she furrowed her eyebrows. "I'm not sure, Sir."

"So you think we should head southwest?"

"I think we should take it into consideration, see what options we have and let Col. Black know."

**~Ж~**

All the R&R's were revoked. No one complained. The only exception was Garcia. Unfortunately, his knee was shattered so he was to be shipped back home the following day. He didn't take Bella's capture very well. None of us did. Garcia blamed himself for not being strong enough to handle the pain. He thought had he done so, then he would've been able to help Bella, and that probably the bitch wouldn't have had the chance to do what she did.

I had a brief Skype session with my father, and things at home hadn't changed much. The situation was still being discussed by the media. Speculations and accusations were being tossed in every direction. Fuckers knew shit. Only one that serves or served knew how it felt like, to be in our position. No one could feel your fear when you went into battle; no one could understand how it felt to take a life whether you wanted to or not. No one could comprehend the severity of being in the military. There were three kinds of groups: the ones who were indifferent about our work, the ones who supported us in every way imaginable and the ones who didn't.

Charlie and Sue were in constant communication with my folks. They did their best to tame the situation with the kids. How long could they lie to them? What would they say to them if she… Black was almost as bad as I was; he never left this office unless it was for sleep, which was our main difference. He managed to sleep even if it was for three hours. I couldn't sleep more than an hour.

"Edward, have a seat." Everyone could see how exhausted Black felt. "I've been thinking about the things Sergeant Whitlock suggested and I agree. We've checked all the nearby areas and we've come up empty handed. After a lot of consideration, it's wise to look further. She might be right under our noses." I nodded in agreement and rubbed my temples. My head was killing me. "You're leaving tomorrow after breakfast. Make sure you get…"

He didn't get to finish. A single shot was suddenly heard and both of us ran outside. No one had time to react. By the time we stepped outside the office, we saw Hunter rushing to us, holding something in his hand.

"Someone dropped this off at the gate. He was on a dirt bike and didn't even stop. Owen shot once, as a warning for him to stop, but he was already gone," he panted.

"Give me that," Black said and grabbed the envelope. He tore it and took out a cd case.

"Fuck," Hunter whispered. I glared at him.

"Corporal Hunter, find Sergeant Whitlock and send him to my office. Cullen with me," Black fired.

Jasper came into the office, along with Rosalie and Emmett, as Black inserted the disk into his computer drive. He didn't tell them to leave. Seconds later the screen came to life. I gripped the desk to prevent myself from falling. There she was; my Bella, on her knees with her hands tied behind her back. There was a nasty bruise on her cheek bone and a lot of dried blood on her clothes.

Her lack of sleep was undeniable. She was pale and obviously malnourished. Her lips were dry and her beautiful eyes were marred with dark circles. She was so brave. She didn't even flinch when one of the fuckers behind her, placed the canister of his gun on the back of her head.

"_26 November a woman caught at mistake. Let go and we no kill her,_" one of them started while the gunman loaded the riffle against the back of her head. I hissed and moved closer to the screen. That fucker was mine! "_Let go or I kill her._"

"_Please,_" her pleading was barely heard. "_I beg you, please. I did everything you asked. I haven't denied you anything!_"

"_No,_" the one on her right said and slapped her sideways, hard. She didn't whimper or cry out.

"_You have children, please! One time, I swear! Just please, please!_" This time she didn't hide her vulnerability and started crying. "_Please, please!_" My eyes filled with tears and my chest tightened. Her desperation was more than I could handle.

"_One time,_" the spokesman said.

Her shoulders started shaking and she smiled through her cries. "_Thank you! Oh thank you!_" She turned her face to the camera. "_Colonel, in my locker there is a letter addressed to my children. I didn't get the chance to write the address and send it,_" she said.

"What the hell is she doing?" Black mumbled.

"_They just moved to the new house. The address is:_

_Sue Winston_

_Swath Flintstone Mansion_

_30 Ellie Main St._

_8P5GM#1B_

_Texas._"

"Oh, she's good," Whitlock chuckled.

"_If you send it Monday, the proud eagle,_ _will get it there before Christmas. Tseebíí mob, including ashdlá ineffectual nincompoop droppers,_" Colonel took a deep breath.

"_Finish,_" the gunman yelled.

"_Okay,_" she choked. "_Um, the eagle flies from Baghdad at twelve with one stop in Germany. It will get sooner there. Make sure it's sealed safely because I'm sending two charms: one for the baby's frail health and another for my mother. She helps me in more than one way. Thank you and God bless you… all of you._"

"_Free woman or we kill her._"

The screen went black. No one spoke for a couple of minutes until Rose broke it.

"I'll go and find that letter."

"There is no letter," Colonel said. His desk phone started ringing. "Not now," he barked and hung up.

"How do you know there is no letter?" I asked angrily. I couldn't feel my hands and once again my head started feeling heavy.

He glared. "Our base isn't in fucking Texas, First Sergeant." I took a deep breath.

"Oh shit," Emmett exclaimed.

"She's telling us something," Whitlock grinned.

That was when it came to me. "She gave us her location," I hurried and just for a moment I was able to breathe. I was getting her back. "Do you have a map here, Sir? The team…"

"Hold your horses, Cullen," Black sighed. _What the fuck?_ "We need to be sure that there is actually something out there. Our main priority is to find our starting point."

I snapped. "We can't wait a whole day to…"

"Everyone out," Colonel said while looking at me. Once everyone left he stood and came right to my face. "One, I'm in charge here and two, don't you dare contradict me in front of my marines the way you just did. Got that?"

My jaws and fists clenched. "Yes. Sir."

"I want her back as well, Cullen, and probably more than you do," My eyes narrowed. "We can't make hasty moves because they'll be alerted and have her killed. Now, I'm going to call Quantico, then watch the video again, write down that fucking address and try to figure out where the hell she's being kept," he continued firmly. "You go and put your shit together and when you think you'll be of any use, come back here."

"I'm sorry, Sir," I whispered. He sighed and placed his hand on my shoulder. "Be back in thirty and when you do, bring the triplets you have attached to your hip," he chuckled. "That Sergeant is good."

I left his office and rushed into mine. My heart was pounding inside my chest. If the message was her exact location and accurate then I'd have her back in no time. She'd be safe… here with me. My Bella would be safe… _safe_. I ran my hands over my face as the door of my office burst open. Jasper, Hunter, Rosalie along with Emmett came in. Whitlock winked at me, spread a map on my desk and grabbed a notepad.

"I think that the starting point should be the outskirts of Al Habbaniyah; to be exact, the point of attack. South west, we have a lot of land, a lake and Ramadi. They are not in Ramadi but close to it. My bet is that they want to be out of the public eye and somewhere isolated, because this way they wouldn't need an army of people to look out, but also somewhere close so they can get supplies."

"Supplies my ass. Did you see how she looked?" Emmett said somewhat angrily. "Those sons of bitches starve her."

I started pacing. "Emmett, not now," I looked at Whitlock. "On our way to Al Habbaniyah did you see any areas that might help us in any way?"

"Apart from the area we were attacked and a couple of buildings, no. I don't know what's going on further," Rose stepped in. "What if we sent a car?"

I rested my forehead on the window frame and closed my eyes. "The infantry could take that task since its closer. They can go today or early tomorrow and we'll stay here to plan," I turned around. "Jasper, we need to go to the CO. Emmett, get the guys together and once we have something, I'll let you know. Rose, go and check with Jordan about Leah. I need to know if she'll be okay to come with us. After you're done, come to Black's."

Leah sprained her front leg the day Bella went missing. It was categorized as a mild injury, so the vet suggested a week's rest in order for the few fibers that were torn to heal. It's been almost eight days since it happened.

**~Ж~**

"Let's see what we have," Black exasperated. We'd been going through the message since yesterday, when we got the video. "We have to head south west for thirty miles. Okay so far? She instructed that we should go Monday, probably because those fuckers will be less than they are now. What the hell is Swath Flintstone Mansion?"

"What if it's a house? She obviously couldn't say the word house and tried to find a different way to say it?" Emmett asked.

"House," Whitlock nodded. "Maybe its swath storage, a barn or even a shepherd…" he stopped abruptly. "Shepherds," he fumed. "Fuck!"

"What is it Whitlock?"

"They slipped through our hands. Remember those shepherds the squad from Victory base, spotted south west?"

"Yes," I said.

"Wanna bet that the cloth they carried wasn't to mark territory? Did you see the blood on Swan's clothes? What if someone is hurt? What if the cloth was actually used on a person?"

"Do you realize what you're saying to us now?"

He nodded. "That if they had followed those shepherds they would have probably led them to her. I'm perfectly sure that these things are connected."

"Fuck!" I hissed.

"I second that," Emmett said and cracked his knuckles. "Can I ask something stupid?"

"What?"

"Are one of her kids sick?"

"No," Black and I said at the same time.

Awkward.

"Then why would she say 'baby's frail health' if not?" he scratched his chin. "Everything she told us so far…"

"She mention children," Black said. "She knew those men have children. What if they are actually there?"

"Then we have to be careful," I said. "Children can be spotted easily; they play and they are loud."

"Make sure they are _not_ harmed," Col. said firmly. "Now what the heck is Flintstone?"

"No idea," Whitlock shook his head. "What is more important is 8P5GM#1B. I want to assume that …"

"I know what those means," Black sighed. "Did you notice that she used a different dialect? That was Navajo." The woman never ceased to amaze me. "Tseebíí means eight; mob is a group of people."

"So we have eight people," I said frustrated. "We are twelve Sir; we can take them out now."

"I said no. She said Monday. She knows better," he glared. "Now ashdlá ineffectual nincompoop droppers," he continued. "Five of them are armed, stupid and without order or system which is good. They won't expect us to come, and by the time they realize what's happening we'll arrest them."

_Arrest them? Sure… _They'll be dead before they even have the chance to fucking blink!

"That makes sense," Rose said. "But what the hell is Flintstone?"

My father's words came to my mind; '_Remember when Peter and you were little and wanted to build a stone house like the Flintstone's?' _

"It's a reference," I said eagerly and smiled brightly at them. She knew the story. She knew it would help us more. "For a house made of stone. She is being kept in a stone house. There can't be many houses or barns made of stone."

We spent the next hour or so planning the rescue.

"That's perfect," Colonel exclaimed. Maybe for the first time in a week, I saw hope in his eyes. "We have fifteen hours until you leave. I want you to get as much rest as possible and a bath," he said chaffed. "You stink." I snorted. "Edward, you stay."

The office cleared and he lit a cigarette, offering me one. I thanked him and lit mine as well. "How did you know she was speaking Navajo?" He smirked.

"Because I taught her, I'm half Navajo, half Quileute."

Suddenly I was pissed all over again. "What other things have you _taught_ her?" I hissed.

"Can't you shut up?" he groaned. "For fuck's sake Cullen." He picked up the picture he had on his desk and showed me the photo of a woman. "This is my wife. This is the woman I gave my life to. Do you know why she left the military? Because she knew that once I'd returned from my leave, I would've resigned. The only woman I'm in love with is my wife, and only her."

"Let me ask you something. Let's assume that I knew your wife, but you didn't know me and you accidentally heard me calling her every endearment there is in the book. How would you have reacted? And don't tell me you'd be civil, because we both know you wouldn't."

"I trust her; something apparently you don't."

"You don't know me, and for the record I trust her with my life, it's you I don't trust, or any other male for that matter."

"Why?" he pressed.

"Isn't it obvious? You said it yourself not long ago."

"Why? It's a simple question Edward."

"I refuse to tell you why. You will not be the first one to hear the words that are meant to be said only to her." I felt a tightening in my chest. "All I've ever wanted in my life was a fraction of the connection my parents have. I've spent years yearning and looking for it. I couldn't find it and all it took was a fucking picture at the airport. Just one look and I was gone. Do you want to know how it feels to just be close to her? It fucking hurts because I want to be with her and I can't. I burn inside and warmth fills within me when I hold her hand, even if it's only for a motherfucking second. I lose sight of the world when I gaze into her eyes." I felt my eyes filling with tears.

"She is the reason I wake up in the morning. She is the reason I'm thinking of leaving, something I never thought before; not even when men died in front of me. I can't imagine how my life would be if I'd never met her or woke up and not see her in the morning and now…" A gust of air left my mouth. "And now she's not here and it is driving me insane. If we hadn't gotten that video, we wouldn't know if she was alive or dead."

"Edward…"

"This past week has felt as if I've been living a nightmare. I try to close my eyes to get some sleep, but all I see is her, tied down, getting beaten. When I do manage to get an hour, tops, I see her in my dreams, dead and it kills me. Do you have any idea how hard it was for me yesterday not to go and look for her? I knew it was wrong, but I stayed because had I gone, I would have probably killed us both. I need to see her, feel her presence next to me. I want to keep her safe and happy, and loved. And I've come so close to losing her. So goddamned close." I buried my face in my hands and took a labored breath. I was exhausted… drained. "Does that answer your question, _Sir_?"

"Maybe you should stay back tomorrow."

"No. I'm capable enough to go out there and bring her back. You know that."

"You're too invested in this," he said and rubbed his temples.

"Which is why I'll be extra careful. Don't make me stay back, Sir, please," I begged. "I need to do this."

He sighed and stood. "Go and get something to eat. I mean really eat and I don't want to see your face until it's time to leave. If I see you wandering around the camp before then, forget about leaving. Have I made myself clear?

"Thank you," I smiled tiredly.

**~Ж~**

"We can either wait for the rain to stop or go," Jordan said.

I shook my head. There's no way I would wait. The rain could last for hours. One would think that it'd been raining for days and not two hours. It was pouring like never before.

"Fuck that shit," Emmett hissed, stood up and adjusted his gun. "I want my Staff Sergeant back and then get the fuck out of here. Who's with me? I'll even sing Sinatra for you."

I smiled at Emmett's eagerness. "Let's go people."

"That's what I'm talking about."

"McCarty, please let Sinatra rest in peace. He'd be rolling in his grave if he heard you."

Before we left we laid out the final plan to the CO and he approved it. It was quite simple: the vehicles would stop two miles away from the location and hide. We would walk and stay outta sight as much as possible. Once we arrived at the location, we would scatter in four groups of three, surround the building and use tear gas in order to go in and get my girl back.

Simple, right?

Well it wasn't, because for the time being we couldn't do anything at all. For one, it was raining so hard, to the point of having difficulty in seeing anything around us, and two, we weren't sure how many were in there and if children were included. We continued walking until we reached the desired location, where a surprise was waiting for us.

"Fuck," Hunter whispered. "There are two buildings, sir."

"I can see that," I snapped lowly. "Newton and Wilson go and check the building to the right."

I hoped it was clear because it would give us cover for almost an hour and give us time to check out the perimeter. The distance between the two buildings was about 500 feet across from each other, so we knew that we had to move fast, especially if the captors wouldn't leave. The CO said that they were clueless, so that was a positive thing, because it meant that they were inexperienced. We were trained and the rain wasn't making it any easier for them. We were precise.

"Sir," Newton said and crouched next to me. "The bad news is that from what I was able to see through my scope, I counted three, one of them was lying down and the other was an infant. The good news is that Swan was holding said infant."

I sighed with relief. She was okay. "Did you see any other movement?"

"I don't think there is anyone else inside, First Sergeant. It isn't that big." I motioned to the others to follow and we quickly went inside the half-demolished building.

"Okay, listen up. From what we've seen, there are only three people inside, including our own and a baby. One of them is injured so this won't be difficult. We attack with tear gas and enter. If, by any chance, there are others in there and they start shooting, don't think twice; shoot back. We will divide in three gr…" A heart wrenching scream was heard and it made me stop. I didn't think twice. "Hale, Newton Hunter and Wilson take the back. Whitlock, Jordan, Colt and Sanchez, take the right side. McCarty, Young and Brown, we take the left side. Keep your guns loaded."

I gave us two minutes to gather our thoughts. I was prepared to take down whomever I needed. Whitlock crossed himself and with a nod he took his team and exited the building. Hale was next, and then I.

We didn't get the chance to take another step nor understand what had happened. I found myself flying back and hit the wall behind me, with force. I blinked lazily a few times, trying to see around me.

"Sir!" Hale appeared in front of me. "Sir! Can you hear me?"

I shook my head and groaned when I felt a sharp pain on the back of my shoulder. Hale helped me up and as if someone had slapped me hard on the face, I bolted out.

"Sir, no!" Emmett called, but it was too late. I was already through the door.

There was nothing… nothing for me to see apart from smoke and ruins everywhere.

"Bella!" I started running as fast as my legs could carry me. "Bella!"

The first thing I saw was a pile of rocks. I started moving them out the way, without thinking about the pain or anything else. The strength I had that moment could move a car. My head was pounding and my heart was beating frantically. The rain had lessened to the point of a heavy drizzle so it would make it a bit easier to find her. I had to find her! I had to find her and fast.

"Bella!" I yelled. "Bella!"

I ran to a different position and once again a familiar pair of hands restrained me.

"He's losing it. Medic!"

"Get the fuck off of me or I swear to God I'll kill you McCarty." He stepped back and raised his hands. "Don't stand there! Keep fucking searching! No one is leaving until we find her!" Leah started barking and tried hopelessly to get away from the leash. "Young, call the cars."

I started walking away and the rest scattered around. Leah at that point was uncontrollable. I turned around to look at the dog; she looked as if she was possessed. Jordan tried to get her to calm down, but she was having none of that.

"Unleash her!" He complied right away and the dog took off. She stopped at least one hundred yards away from our spot and howled.

Bella…

I threw my gun down and ran toward them… and when I was close enough, I saw a form lying on the ground. I knew it was her. Leah was licking Bella's face and barked occasionally. I fell on my knees in front of her and looked at her prone position.

"Bella?" I whispered. I wanted to scream my lungs out but I couldn't. "Sweetheart?" I started shaking like a leaf.

She wasn't moving…

She wasn't responding…

I carefully placed my hand around her neck and turned her around. I sat down and placed her on my lap. I shook her lightly.

"Bella?"

She didn't even make a sound. Leah placed her paw on Bella's forearm and whined. The movement was enough for Bella's hand to fall lifelessly on the ground. My eyes filled with tears. This wasn't happening… not to her.

"Baby, please, please," I choked. "Open your eyes. For me please."

"Edward?" Emmett said gently from behind me.

I placed my other hand on the side of her head and smoothed her wet hair. She looked like an angel… my angel that saved me from my loneliness. I kissed her forehead and rocked us back and forth until I felt something warm running down my hand.

It was blood; rich, thick blood.

I started shaking my head as I remember my dream.

No. This couldn't be happening… not to my Bella. No!

"Please, my love, please, please." I shook her body. "Bella, please." My bloodied hand ghosted over the side of her face and I let it rest it on her neck.

That was when all hell broke loose.

"M-me-medic!"

* * *

_**CACO:**__Casualty Assistance Calls Officer_

* * *

**A/N:**

**Um… yeah…**

**He did find her after all… and before any of you say anything, I know that he should have checked for her pulse first and he probably shouldn't have moved her. He was panicked and the dream he saw made it worse. Never mix work with pleasure, lol. Part of the address Bella gave is not correct. I know that. The little shits that took her though don't and this is the main reason she gave the postal code the way she did.**

**Just so you know, I haven't started the next chapter. The good thing is that it's planned so I hope that it won't take long to write. Keep in mind that there ****might**** be a chance that it will probably be in two povs. Haven't decided yet. **

**Cejsmom, Monique, Dinia and Oilily, thank you for your help… No matter how many times I thank you, will never be enough.**

**You'll find me on Facebook as Penelope Griva and on Twitter as MrsECullenPen.**

**By clicking the magical button that says '****Review this chapter****' will bring you closer to your update and of course you'll get your teaser…**

**Until next time****…**

**Pen…**


	13. Teaser

Hi!

I know it's been a while and for that I'm sorry… I don't want to tire you with my crap since I explain a couple of things in my upcoming update. The chapter is done and already with my pre-readers. Once they're done, I'll make the necessary changes and send it to Cejsmom.

My girls are fairly quick which means that I won't manage to reply to your reviews.

So….

Here's your teaser… Keep in mind that IT'S not betaed…

_The photo was ripped out of my hands and I screamed. Guteba was standing in front of me, looking at it._

"_Give it back!" When I started to get up he slapped me. The force was enough to throw me back on the ground and hit the side of my face to a barrel. "Please, please," I begged. "Give it back. It's the only thing I have of them. Please!" He took a step back and smiled evilly. He wouldn't give it back. "Please!" I cried. I was on my knees and ready to pounce when he hit me with the back on his gun on the same spot he slapped me. I cried out of pain and fell back while he loaded his gun and placed it on my forehead. "Go ahead and kill me you son of a bitch," I screamed._

_Thanks for reviewing..._

_Pen..._


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